Upcoming Reprise

Monday, July 23.

Midsummer Star

Bed and Breakfast, ghetto clinic, she's 'the other woman'!!

Midnight Sun's Magic--Reprise

Betty Debbie's original take on this on was that it was a rather mixed bag.  And I really have to agree.  Having spent a few formative months of my life working in an Alaska fish factory, all the scenes of Nordic hash slinging seem really real and fun.  But Ola the Married Man is a drain on the production.  A girl should have only so many romantic roadblocks in my opinion.  I ran through the comments section and various Bettys had this to say:

Betty Barbara here--
I can see why the book has its fans--I'm just not one of them. The only scene that raises it above mediocre is Annis' farewell letter. I just wish Annis had gone farther afield when she ran off. Jake really needed to sweat some more.

Cheese Board from me.

and in reply from Betty Magdalen:

Oh, I think he sweated a LOT. And he definitely saw that he'd been a prize idiot. He even admits that to the Jolly of the book, Cor. "I've been a fool," he says, his voice bitter. From an RDD, that's almost a hair shirt!

Love and lardy cakes!

Betty Keira

Annis Brown is 5'10', lovely and has a head full of chestnut hair...girlfriend is fabulous. Instead of trading on all this fabulousity, she has wasted the past three years dating the atrociously boring Arthur Potter. He of the receding forehead, glasses and pedantic nature. They work together in Paediatrics...while she is busy kissing babies, he is getting more than his fill of the rugrats, and vowing that he will never have kids of his own. Annis is getting tired of the tedium that is Arthur, so she ransacks her closet for something to shake up Dr. Boring. She should know better...low necklines never work on men who drive like old ladies.
Next day, Dr. Boring takes Annis to task for wearing the rather 'sexy dress'. Final straw...gloves off...Dr. Boring stops by Annis' office.
Her: Are you planning on marrying me anytime soon?
Him: After we get to know each other better...maybe in three or four more years.
Her: This is totally whack! In three years I'll be thirty!
Time to give this up as a bad job. She has been wasting her time with Dr. Boring when what she would really like is to be swept off her feet. Her not insubstantial feet.
Baby Brother Freddy sends Annis a welcome job opportunity. The experimental station on Spitzbergen needs a nurse-cum-secretary-cum-cook. Some judicious shopping is done...slacks, sweaters and anoraks - no evening dresses, tweed suits or jersey two-pieces - baby it's cold outside and girlfriend is being sensible.
There's just time to visit Great-Aunt Mary before heading North. Great-Aunt is relieved that Annis has broken up with Boring Arthur. 'Another year or two at the hospital and you would have been an old maid - whether you married that Arthur fellow or not. Maybe you can find a large Norwegian on Spitzbergen.'
Freddy picks Annis up in Tromso...instead of taking her to the airport, he takes her to the harbour - it's Travel By Seaplane! Annis gets a warm welcome from the gang at the experimental station - since she's the only woman, that's not surprising - she could look like John Travolta's character in Hairspray and get a warm welcome. One guy does stand head and shoulders above the crowd - both literally and figuratively. Jake. Jake van Germent. Company doctor. He's a bit mocking, but not in a mean way. She is slightly intrigued, but there is no 'sweeping' going on. Jake is placid to the point of immobility. He's also described as 'the silent one of the team." Hmmm. Doesn't sound like her type of romantic hero at all. He does stir himself up one day and invite Annis to go see a herd of seals just around the point of the mountain. Remember, this is an island at the top of the world. You take entertainment where and when you get it. Turns out Jake is not quite as placid as he seems...Annis slips, Jake catches her and takes advantage of the circs to give her a thorough kiss, and takes his time at it. Annis enjoys the kiss, but doesn't set too much store by it - she was sensible enough to know that kissing a girl when there wasn't another female to be seen for miles was perfectly natural. Jake plods along - he's playing a long game here...too bad for him.

The Romance of Ola Julsen:

In order to restock the pantry at Ice Station Spitzbergen, Jake and Annis take a field trip to Ny Aalesund in Jake's plane. On the way back, we enter into...The Ola Zone. For some unexplained reason, Ola is out on the frigid water around Spitzbergen in a small motorboat. The motor of his small motorboat has conked out and he's drifting dangerously close to a lethal outcropping of rock. Jake sets his seaplane down, and the stranger is picked up. The handsome stranger with the vivid blue eyes and the wavy blonde hair. Very romantic looking, and soon to be nakedish. Jake tells him to strip down and never mind the pretty lady in the back, she's a nurse. Ola seems to be just what the love doctor ordered for Annis. Ola is coming to work at the station. He manages to nearly always be free when Annis is, he brings her little treasures...fossils, seabird feather and A BOOK OF POETRY W/MARKED PASSAGES. Editor's Note: What kind of guy brings a book of poetry to an island that he will be sharing almost exclusively with other males? Walking is engaged in, talking is engaged in (mostly by Ola) Annis is completely honest and upfront with Ola. The same can not be said of him. He is evasive about his family and hometown. No matter. Ola is completely different from Arthur the Boring and right now that's all that counts. Frankly Annis is blinded by the blonde hair and blue eyes. What she should have noticed is the awesome heroism exercised by Jake when HE rescued Ola. Annis gets another whack at noticing Jake's similarity to a knight in shining armour when he saves a young Finn (Harald) from drowning - at the cost of breaking his own leg. Ola does not show up well in this comparison. He freezes up while Annis is running to help Jake and the young man. Ola was abso-frickin-lutely useless.

Annis flies with the two patients (Jake and Harald - who has a concussion) to Ny Aalesund...where she has plenty of time to NOT give Jake sponge baths...he insists on washing himself. And now we have the dubious pleasure of visualizing our RDD in a cast - for most of the rest of the book.

Jake does have hidden depths...still waters run deep.

Him: My dear Annis, I'll do anything to oblige you.
Her: Yes, I know, but only when it suits you.

Ola the Romantic But Useless swings by the hospital...guess what? He's married! He then blathers on about how he didn't tell her before because he didn't think she was the type to snog a married man - she wouldn't have considered it cricket. Annis keeps it together long enough to inform Ola that he obviously doesn't know jack about the rules of cricket. Her stiff upper lip lasts just so long....but Annis is craving a good howl, so a good howl is what she has - and then tries to disguise the traces by wearing dark glasses to work. The dark glasses might fool Harald the young Finn, but Jake is too savvy...she can't hide her lying eyes - off come the glasses.

Annis has to fight off the temptation to howl at the drop of a hat...Jake is pretty understanding - back at the station he looks like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth - (what does that even mean?) Annis mopes around a bit - but there's a tiny little infinitesimal niggling doubt, worming its way into her thoughts. Why couldn't Ola have been more like Jake? Sure, girlfriend was swept away by the outward signs of mushiness, but she's starting to realize Ola was a Class One Weasel, and the quicker she gets over him, the better. Annis needs something to take her mind off Ola, so she goes out in bad weather to save a wounded seagull. Jake plays the knight in shining armour, hero guy once more and saves her. While standing in Jake's arms Annis realizes that Ola means nothing to her - he's simply a cardboard cutout. It's Jake she wants to stay with for the rest of her life! Wow, that was quick. Too bad Jake doesn't seem that interested.

Annis' time at the station is running out - but she's just not sure exactly when, and there seems to be a conspiracy of silence. Everyone says, "Ask Jake"...but Jake spends a great deal of time avoiding the question. Even Freddy fibs a bit. That's it, she's had it...Annis kicks the table and bursts out crying. Which is where Jake finds her.

Him: Tears? My poor little Annis! Do you have any special plans after you leave here?

Her: Boo hoo, no.
Him: Good! Will you marry me? You're the nicest girl I ever met and the prettiest. I like the way you walk and talk, I enjoy being with you...I think we could be happy together.

Sounds good doesn't it? Annis loves him and he's given her a lovely proposal...but he's not done yet.
Him: I could wait until you're over Ola...but since you're out of a job now and my sister is married I need someone to run my house.

Ooo...a swing and a miss! It's a dang MOC.
Of course our girl says yes...how can she not? A swift kiss and the deal's sealed.

Freddy is happy for her...Jake will go down a treat with Aunt Mary.
Instead of flying Annis back to England in his seaplane (remember that pesky cast on his leg?), Annis and Jake go back on the Coastal Steamer by way of Longyearbyen, Bear Island, Tromso, Trondheim and finally Bergen. It's a lovely cruise...Annis enjoys her time with Jake - although his descriptions of his mother and his home leave a little to be desired. Annis secretly thinks his mother sounds truly awful and Annis had visions of herself toiling around a not very modern house with only a daily woman to do the rough. She's more than willing to cross those bridges when she gets to them, after all she loves Jake to distraction. She makes an attempt to tell him that she's completely over Ola - that her affair with him was as cold as yesterday's potatoes...but sadly they are interrupted by an elderly Norwegian couple (drat those darn Norwegians!). Wedding plans are made, fun is had shopping - teasing and lighthearted banter. Nice. And then it's off to England for a quick meet up with Aunt Mary

Off to Holland and it's time to meet the mother-in-law...who turns out to be lovely. Not awful at all. Which is good, since Annis will be staying with her for the three weeks it takes to get married in Holland. Yes, instead of the usual special license in England Jake is going the whole nine yards and doing the complete two-step white wedding in Holland.

Annis misses a little of the romance she had with Ola - but she doesn't miss Ola. She tries to tell Jake, but he interrupts.
Mama van Germent brings up the subject of baby Jakes...which is a lovely thought...but she needs to talk to Jake about it - he might have other ideas.

Mama Germent also brings up ghosts of old girlfriends - the thought makes Annis jealous, which makes her sad. Jake cheers her up with a bit of snogging, the heirloom family sapphire and dinner at Schudderbeurs. Oh, and some more kissing. A fair amount of snogging is engaged in between Jake and Annis. Wedding morning - Annis hangs out the window in her flimsy nightie, which earns her an invitation to go for a pre-nuptial walk. She makes another attempt to tell Jake that she's long over Ola - but Aunt Mary interrupts.

On with the wedding. Weddings, that is. It's the double-Dutch version - first a civil ceremony, then the ecclesiastical version...then a lovely reception afterwards - attended by cross-over characters Waldo and Olympia (from The End of the Rainbow). At the reception Annis gets to meet cousin-in-law Wretched Ria. Ria is one of those relatives you spend your life trying to avoid.

Wretched Ria: So this is the bride? I never supposed you'd settle for a foreigner - I thought Nina was the one for you.

Annis sees just how ghastly and spiteful Ria is and handles the situation beautifully. When Ria the Wretched is gone, Annis has a simple question for Jake. Unfortunately Jake isn't willing to answer her simple question "Who's Nina?" It really is a simple question...and the answer isn't that complicated - it's more than a little irritating that he fobs he off with, I'll tell you about her sometime...later. With that statement, Nina begins to assume mythical proportions.
Jake does ask her a question. Are you over Ola? She would have liked to answer but he really didn't want to hear the wrong answer, so he doesn't leave her an opening...so she doesn't get a chance to tell him that she is, she really really is. Really.
Annis gets a irritated and snaps at Jake as she's heading off to her lone bed...but once there she turns around and races back down to apologize for being beastly. He looks and sounds remote - which doesn't really help, so back she goes - but not to indulge in tears. That would be a waste of time. She needs to plan her strategy for getting her husband to fall in love with her.

Five days into the marriage Annis tries to explain her feeling to Jake once again. Once again she is interrupted. This time it's Wretched Ria and her husband. More remarks dripping with poison...which Annis ably deflects. Ria is a nasty piece of work...so she plays the Nina card again.

Wretched Ria: You're lucky to have found someone suitable...after Nina The Chupacabra!
Jake: Annis is suitable. (Strike one).
Annis (after Wretched Ria leaves): Why am I suitable?
Jake: Umm...you're a nurse (Strike two), you're beautiful (ball one), and a delightful companion (ball two).
Annis: Was Nina suitable?
Jake: Don't you worry your pretty little head about Nina (Strike threeeee...you're out!)
Jake suggests that they throw a dinner party. It's a lovely excuse to shop for a pretty dress - which they take advantage of later in the week...when Jake finally gets his cast off. Olympia and Waldo are guests at the dinner party - Annis decides to take the bull by the horns and question Olympia about the Nina The Yeti. She's not really trying to go behind Jake's back - she just wants to be prepared the next time Wretched Ria bares her fangs. Jake sees Annis and Olympia talking and asks Annis what they were talking about. He's not at all happy that Annis was asking questions - but I don't really get that - he didn't have anything to hide - so why not say so and be up front about it?'Coincidentally, Ola shows up in town the very next day. She quickly gives him the brush off and goes home - looking ill enough for the butler to notice. Ola shows up at Jake and Annis' home that evening - when Jake is out. Lots of flowery phrases pass his lips, but Annis is firm and furious and sends him packing. Jake just so happens to be in his study when Ola leaves...and is quick to draw some wrong conclusions.
The next morning Annis tries to talk to Jake - but he is in an 'unwilling to listen' frame of mind. He would rather wait until they are both calmer and can discuss the situation rationally. Jake should have consulted his RDD's Guide To Women - because, gosh, implying that your wife is not a rational being is tantamount to a declaration of war. Annis is mad, and she's not going to take it. They had reached a point where they must talk or finish it - and Jake wouldn't talk! She pens a note and has it delivered to him at work:

Dear Jake,
I keep trying and trying to tell you I love you, but every time I open my mouth, I get interrupted. Seriously. I wouldn't touch Ola with a ten foot Norwegian herring! If you still want your precious Nina, JUST SAY SO!!! I'm going away - who knows, I might get rational, if I do, you'll be the first to know.
Love, yes LOVE,
Annis

Annis drives off to the closest haven she can think of...Schudderbeurs. Yes, it's evidently not just a restaurant, it's also an inn. Or a hotel...or something. Jake is frantic with worry...the manager of Schudderbeurs just so happens to know Jake's phone number...Jake shows up...declarations of love, possibly the most explicit (for Neels) implied conjugal relations are mentioned. The end.

Rating: This is really a hard book to rate. It has a lot in common with Cassandra By Chance - remote island location, taciturn hero, heroic water rescue...but it's just not as fun. There's an ick factor with Ola the married man...he's beyond creepy...and yet, I still re-read this book. Annis has wasted 3 years on Dr. Boring - which is about 2 11/12 years too long and now she's looking to be swept off her feet. Jake's romantic pacing is slower than molasses in January - it's no wonder she falls for Ola the speedy worker. Gosh, if only he wasn't a creepy married weasel. And yet, I still re-read this. I think I like how Annis keeps plugging away, in spite of being interrupted every time she opens her mouth. Okay, not every time...I'm going to be generous and give this one Mince Pies. I'm not convinced it deserves it, but it is memorable and I don't dislike Annis - even though she has such a bad track record with men before she finally settles down with Jake.

Food: First meal @ Spitzbergen - the men were lavish with the can opener. Poached salmon, jacket potatoes, Lucullus cake, Aqua Vitae, fillet of beef Meurice, artichokes in garlic sauce, tender little steaks with peppercorns in a cream and brandy sauce served with fennel and tiny pommes frites, souffle glace.

Fashion: Slacks, slacks and more slacks. Anorak, low cut gown that shocks Dr. Boring, grey silk jersey, a party dress that is not purchased for posterity.

Betty in the Wild

I'd like to go on record that I love my in-laws.  I really do.  There's just one little problem with them.   They live 900-ish miles from us - and nowhere near a major airport.  That means we usually take at least one week a year and drive to North/Central Wyoming.  I'd like a raise of hands for those of you who have been to Byron, Wyoming.  Anyone? Anyone?  I thought not.  That isn't to say that this small town doesn't have its charms...and I would probably be able to appreciate them more if it wasn't hotter than the surface of the sun a bit on the warm side for me. To help me cope with the fact that there is very little to do in town, I plan a vacation within a vacation.  This year two (!!!) of my sisters joined us for half of the week while we explored bits of Wyoming and South Dakota.  I took lots of Betty in the Wild pictures...here goes:

Betty goes through Wind River Canyon below Thermopolis, Wyoming.

Betty debates the merits of car travel vs. covered wagon (with special thanks to my niece Ana for posing with her brothers and aunt (Betty Marcy).

By the time we decided that taking a Betty in the Wild picture with a scary rattlesnake was a good idea, the snake had gone, leaving Betty Marcy to wonder: "Where did it go?" as she frantically searched her immediate area before beating a hasty retreat.

Betty at Independence Rock.  Alas, we could find no record of her etched anywhere (at least not anywhere we were willing to look - this was the place we encountered two (TWO!!) rattlesnakes).

Handcart Betty at Martin's Cove. The handcart pioneers could only take 17 pounds worth of personal gear (per adult).  I doubt if light reading would have made the cut. If only they had had access to electronic books - then they could have taken the whole library of Neels.

Since we weren't allowed to take things into Jewel Caves, Ana posed (with her brothers) in front of a display of vintage caving gear.

I had such a great idea for Mt. Rushmore...I would print up a picture of Betty Neels face, cut it out and tape it to a stick, then we could hold it up right next to the presidents. Unfortunately I didn't come up with this brilliant idea when I was at home and had the resources.  You'll just have to imagine how awesome that would have been.

Betty Marcy once again poses with a Betty book - this time at Devil's Tower National Monument.

Only one more day to go...then we're heading back to beautiful (and much much cooler) Washington.  And my very own bed.

Upcoming Reprise

Monday, July 16th

Midnight Sun's Magic

Spitzbergen, Spitzbergen, Spitzbergen.

A Secret Infatuation - Reprise

Dear Harlequin,

Once upon a time your company used to change the titles of Betty Neels books willy nilly.  I would like to submit a request that future printings of A Secret Infatuation be printed with an alternate title. Here are a few suggestions for your consideration: Lost in a Fog of Love (references RDD lost in the fog), Love is a Battlefield (references the Bosnian interlude), Swing Doors of Destiny (okay, pretty oblique, but still better than the original) or Torquay is for Lovers (granted, more than a bit bumper stickerish). Any one of these titles would give the reader more of a fighting chance of remembering what an awesome book is inside the covers.

Thank you,

Betty Debbie



Okay, just a word about that cover art. Is that heroine wearing tassels and appliques on her beige (!) windcheater? And a bow in her hair? He looks like James Bond (naturally the smoking hot blonde one) and even if he is wearing a pink shirt (no way in RDD h-e-double-hockey-sticks) it's all working for him. She looks like a foundling dressed up in cast-offs. Babes like Eugenie do not wear appliques. Still, as I shall assert presently, there is no gainsaying the awesomeness of A Secret Infatuation.

Eugenie Spencer (tall, dark-haired, gorgeous and 25) is a very competent theatre staff nurse not busily handing eminent surgeons their sharps or tamping down the rising bile brought on by seeing blood and guts arrayed before her.
Instead, she is home in Dartmoor with her father (who is recovering from a heart attack), her mother (who will never recover from being adorable every chance she gets) and the Reverend Mr. Joshua Watts (her father's locum living nearby and suffering from the flu and a belief that Eugenie is not way, way out of his league).
On her way home from a mission of mercy in the thick moor fog, Eugenie stumbles across a great, socking Bentley sitting idle in the road. Within is Professor Aserik Rijnma ter Salis but all Eugenie really hears is, "Blah Blah ter Blah...Dutch." He's charmingly helpless and admits it so she scoots across his lap and dumps herself in the passenger seat to navigate him through the fog.
He is invited to spend the evening at the Rectory and as he leaves the next morning, Eugenie waves him off, returns indoors and tells her mother, "I should like to marry him. Don't laugh."
But she doesn't see him for weeks. Father continues to recover, she fields proposals from Joshua Watts without laughing outright, and soon enough returns to work out her notice in the London hospital from whence she came.
As she waltzes through the swing doors of the operating theatre (Or should I say the Swing Doors of Destiny?), he (Blah Blah ter Blah) is the first man she sees. His reaction, she could swear, was initially pleasure but drifts into coolness. Oh well. At least now she knows his last name and what he does for a living and that he'll be there...manipulating the innards of unconscious cardiac patients...right in front of her! Sigh.
He drives her home on her days off. Not because he's in love with her or anything...(De-nial.)
She does not waste her time being missish.
Her: Are you married?
Him: No.
Her: But a hot RDD like you must be...(gulp) engaged.
Him: Yes.
Her: #$%$#
She is devastated. She isn't about to steal him from the gal that got him first--she's much too nice for that. But she can forget him now...now...er...now. (It doesn't work very well.)
Mother, wife of a rector though she is, has fewer scruples. As Eugenie leaves again for London, Mom helpfully shouts, "Shall I give Joshua your love?"
Eugenie is much too honest to capitalize on all that helpfulness, so when Blah Rijnma ter Salis probes about the reverend (he can't help being interested) he is told in no uncertain terms that Joshua is less than nothing to her. But like a drooling baby with a cellphone, Blah can't let Joshua go and speaks unwisely. "That is his loss. You are just right for a parson's wife, bossy and outspoken and managing and capable." Eugenie, showing the Christian charity which ought to be the most important feature of a clergyman's bride, lets the insult to herself and, tangentially, to her charming mother, slide off her back. "Let's talk about the weather." Eugenie: 1 Blah: 0
Despite their verbal sparring (No. Really because of their verbal sparring....) Blah invites Eugenie to be his temporary theatre nurse in Groningen. A quick consultation with her parents and another proposal from Mr. Watts (Mother: "Why is it that the wrong people like you?") makes up her mind. She'll go to Holland, spend some lovely weeks working with the love of her life, remain professional and helpful and return a broken-hearted shell of her former self. That's the plan.
The first person she sees in Holland is Blah. The second person is Saphira...his fiancee'--Her English was almost perfect. It would be. As rotten as it is to meet the woman, at least now she knows that Blah's Christian name is Aderik. Finally!
When Eugenie does see Aderik (I miss typing Blah.) again socially, it is because Saphira told him to ask her to tea. Ugh. Condescension. He is not so dispassionate the next time, however, when he unfairly upbraids her for picking up strange men. Saphira was quite right when she suggested that I should warn you... But Eugenie isn't going to take that lying down. ...She is, I imagine, a good deal older than I am and probably knows more about being picked up than I do... Eugenie: 2 Aderik: 0 (You mess with a bull, you get the horns...)
But the apologies on both sides are as delightful as possible.
Professionally, some VIP is charming enough to get heart complications in Madeira. Eugenie isn't about to mope and be depressed just because Aderik is lost to her. He wants to go to Madeira with little notice? Score. She'd always fancied a visit to Madeira.
Madeira:
Lots of nursing. She is chatted up by a driver, a doctor and the patient and enjoys herself. She and Aderik have one day together doing tourist stuff and being together at the end of which he kisses her unhurriedly. I mean really kisses her. Mr. Rijnma ter Salis had made sure that she wasn't going to forget his.
Back in Holland, things settle down (unhappily she's not being backed into linen closets for a spot of snogging) until they day she tries to catch a bus in a thunderstorm. He pulls up in his Bentley and...oh dear. Am I the only one with the lyrics of Don't Stand So Close to Me running in her head? ("Wet bus stop. She's waiting. The car is warm and dry...") Is it hot in here?
But that interlude is interrupted by an irate Saphira--happily shouting in Dutch to save Eugenie's blushes. When Aderik meets Eugenie at the bus depot again at the end of the day, surely it's coincidence. (Yeah, I don't buy it either. How much do you think he paid his butler to run over and collect a current bus schedule? How many times did he practice saying nonchalantly, 'I was out walking...' in his bathroom mirror? How many times did he casually walk his dog past that spot until he hit pay-dirt?)
They are called away to Bosnia. (In fact, that's how I think of this book. 'Oh, the Bosnia one.'--because the title gives away nothing.)
Bosnia:
Flying into a war zone with camouflage uniforms, a blue helmet and a loosely enforced cease fire doesn't terrify her as long as Aderik is right there. And when the surgeries are over, they meet for an enchanted moment in the rubble of the hospital garden. Thank you, Eugenie...my love.
Certainly a comment like that should have been followed up with, "Love like, "I love this pudding"? Or love like, "Saphira, what Saphira?" But she is shy.
Back in Holland once more, Saphira is whiny and demanding. She just needs the slightest push and an American millionaire on the horizon and all will be well. Aderik, meanwhile, has abandoned any pretense to himself that he is doing anything other than chasing after Eugenie. He runs her to ground at a museum on her day off, whisks her off to the country for the day and then hectors her into coming in for tea.
Her: This is a silly conversation to have in the middle of the pavement.
Him: Indeed, yes. Let us go indoors before I do something even sillier...
But Saphira is inside his house (does his manservant not have a peephole and a dead bolt?) so we never get to see him get sillier (Drat!) and she's so awful that she deserves to have her hand painfully gripped by Eugenie when they bid each other good day.
Saphira pays her back by setting the date with Aderik...at least, that's what Iago...er...Saphira tells our strapping heroine. Oh, and that day out was only to make me jealous, the little cat simpers.
Eugenie leaves Holland and Aderik with a Don't you 'Eugenie' me. Tear it up, girlfriend.
Torquay:
What? How did we end up in Torquay? Upon her return to England a friend of a friend offers her a job as his nurse. Pretend that Aderik is Kevin Bacon... (see right). Yes, he knew the friend of the friend and maneuvered her into a job (without her knowledge) just so that he could keep an eye on her!
She doesn't love her job and when Aderik comes to see her she is starchy--more so after he tells her that he got her the job. But he has to tell her the truth. No hidden agendas here. When she's still prickly (but delightfully so) he responds cheekily, Enjoy your sausages!...and while you eat them reflect upon the fact that I am not the reverend Mr. Watts, to be rolled up and dismissed with ladylike venom.
Home for the weekend she gets yet another proposal from the persistent Mr. Watts.
And back to Torquay again.
And then Aderik drives her home again. Hey, Saphira is no more...The next morning she finds him waiting for her on an upturned bucket at 6am which is as nice a place for proposals as I can think of.
The End


Rating: Oh my heck, this is great. I stayed up until almost 1am to finish this book--partly to get it out of the way and partly because I kept laughing out loud. The verbal sparring was just so fantastic and sharp that I can't believe The Great Betty was 84 when she published this. Eugenie is darling and alarmingly frank, Aderik is in a coil but not for long, her mother practically steals the show every time she makes a peep. I could have lived without the detour through Torquay (though the sparring there is awesome too) because, plot-wise it seems like a stretch. And I don't like how Eugenia says 'your Saphira' all the time (though I get the point of that--she underlining the fact that as the women aren't friends she can't say just plain 'Saphira' and she is Aderik's responsibility after all). But otherwise I have so little to complain about that it seems picky. Queen of Blinking Puddings!

Food: Croquettes and salad, uitsmijters, tomato and onion soup, filete de espada, maracuja, bolos de mel. She drinks her first beer and he drinks lemon squash with a pained expression. We also get a revolting dinner of sausages, spinach, potatoes with prune and custard. Ick.

Fashion: Wellies and tweeds belong to Dartmoor. Holland gets a jersey dress, a chocolate chiffon pleated skirt, hyacinth blue swimsuit and wispy undies. Madeira has cotton dresses, a chambray dress in nutmeg brown and a straw hat. Bosnia is camouflage and a blue helmet.

Cinema Betty

I came across a fun little rom/com quite by accident.  I was idly browsing through Netflix Watch Instantly and recognized a familiar face:

David Tennant. My favorite doctor.

Being rather an avid Dr. Who fan, I just had to see what this was all about. 

Here's the Netflix blurb: When Hollywood actress Lara Tyler travels to a tiny Scottish island to get married, the paparazzi follow her, prompting her to flee in frustration. To dupe the press, her handlers stage fake nuptials and hire a local girl to play the bride.

The movie is unrated, which made me a little leery (rom/coms of today have such a tragic habit of going to Brighton), but after reading a bunch of the reviews I decided to give it a try. Wikipedia shared the info that parts of the movie were filmed on the Isle of Man...which was standing in for the fictional island Hegg...all of which reminded me of the Isle of Mull (Cassandra by Chance).

Verdict: It's adorable. Scottish accents galore, Scottish scenery, and it's really pretty clean! There is no nudity and no going to Brighton. If I had to guess at what American rating it would have, I would say PG (one bad word and a couple of brief references to sex).

Never While the Grass Grows--Reprise

Never While the Grass Grows has some great little highlights for me:

• Fink-y cruise nurse Joan Wise is one of those love-to-hate-'em villainess plot drivers.
• A step-daughter named Berendina?  Heck yes, she is.  (But I will keep thinking of female Olympic weight-lifters!)
• And standard-issue Red Herring playboy Cousin Marcus.
• Also, 'timpana'--a macaroni and mince pie.  (Betty Debbie!  I want some!)

Have fun finding your own fave details.

Love and lardy cakes,

Betty Keira
 

Last week I got to review The Vicar's Daughter, which I love, love, love. I mentioned that it would be a Top Ten favorite of mine...I'm not as fond of Never While the Grass Grows, but I would put it somewhere in my Top 40 - which means it's better than average, but not absolutely great.

Octavia Lock is a tall girl with a splendid figure. She is described as having "a happy temper"...which description in Neeldom is often followed by outbursts of peevishness and ill nature, but in this case, we get to see quite a bit of evidence that she actually is happy-tempered. She's also beautiful, which, along with her happy nature, leads her to be popular with the housemen at St. Maud's, but even at the ripe old age of 27, she's still heartwhole.

Act I

Wherein Things are Tough in London for the Elderly and Unemployed.

An elderly unemployed handyman is brought into Casualty - dirty, half-starved and suffering from pneumonia and some ennui. "What's the use of me getting better? I've nowhere to go and who'd want the likes of me?" Octavia gets him admitted and promises to visit him.
A tall man with with broad shoulders and a giant's stride comes into Cas carrying an old woman who was mugged. Tall Man is rather overbearing in his demands...which does rub Octavia the wrong way, but only until she sees his bloody knuckles and cut hand. "Oh, you're hurt! I hope you knocked them down and jumped on them!" (After Tall Man knocks a person down, jumping on them Is Not Necessary). The old lady is tended to and warded, after expressing an eerily similar ennui as the unemployed handyman, and Octavia goes about her business - only to find that Tall Man has been forgotten and neglected in a cubicle - and still needs his ATS shot.
They discuss the two old people who deserve happiness - she's concerned about their fate.
Goes home to visit her father...who is an absentminded Professor of Physics. He loves his daughter in a vague sort of way.
Back at the hospital she visits the elderly patients, Charlie and Mrs. Stubbs, who both seem to have acquired a mysterious benefactor. They both have somewhere to go when they're released from hospital. Hmmm.
A nurse who was going to quit to become a cruise ship comes down with a dicky appendix..necessitating a replacement. Octavia is nominated and accepts (she is after all, 27 years old and in imminent danger of falling into a rut). This leads to my favorite section of the book.

Act II
A Mediterranean Cruise on the S.S. Socrates.

Cast:
Senior Ship's Nurse Joan Wise - a snotty bleached blonde who is all of 35. Plans duty hours using an 'airy-fairy' rotation schedule.
Junior Ship's Nurse Mary Silver - helpful 22 year-old - dresses rather sloppily in her off hours, spends every spare moment she can with JSD Colin White.
Temporary Ship's Nurse Octavia Lock - comes between SSN Joan Wise and JSN Mary Silver as far as seniority.
Junior Ship's Doctor Colin White - young doctor who has a thing for Junior Ship's Nurse Mary Silver.
Senior Ship's Doctor (filling in for Doctor Blamey) Professor Lucas van der Weijnen - who we've already met...that's right he's 'The Tall Man'.
Settings:
Nurses Quarters - all three nurses share a cabin.
Ship's Hospital - includes a small operating theatre complete with anaesthetic room and scrub room, a four-bed ward and a larger ward, a nice duty room...not to mention an elegantly fitted doctor's surgery.
After getting the grand tour, JSN Mary White whispers "Here's the boss." Octavia turns around and sees that it's The Tall Man - and he's looking a bit annoyed about something - and frowns fiercely at Octavia...who ignores the frown and gives him a cheerful 'hello, fancy meeting you here.' Enter SSN Joan Wise - let the games begin! Joan tries to dazzle with brilliant smiles and fluttering eyelashes and airy-fairy off duty schedules...which involves having Octavia fill in for her whenever she thinks she can get away with it.
Mr. Love comes into the surgery for his sunburn. I don't think he could have been feeling much pain - he's so tipsy, it's a wonder he was able to find the surgery. Mr. Love makes some moves on Octavia...it's the 'arm around the waist' grope. The second time he tries it, Doctor van der Weijnen gives him a cease and desist order. Then Mr. Love is instructed to remove his shirt, the doctor tut-tuts gently, gives him a warning about unwisely exposing his flesh to harmful UV rays..and then has Octavia apply 'a soothing ointment'. Mr. Love isn't done yet - he makes some remarks that imply Octavia and the doctor are 'a pair'. He digs himself into a hole with: "...we all fancy a pretty girl...I'll bet she knows which side her bread is buttered...you must have plenty of opportunity, the pair of you." Yikes! It's a good thing he's a patient - he gets off with a stern reprimand and a demand that he apologize to the pretty nurse.
Being on call is no joking matter. Sometime in the wee hours of the morning Octavia gets called in for an emergency. There's an ectopic down in cabin 336! Surgery is performed ably and efficiently by the Professor with the assistance of Dr. White, Nurse Octavia and two orderlies. **SPOILER ALERT** (I know, I know, we totally give away plots all the time - but I'm giving away the ending...so read on at your own peril!!) This scene (ectopic surgery) is the one that Lucas later says is where he fell in love with Octavia - let it colour your perception of their future relations or not - it's up to you.
SSN Joan Wise shows her true colours - and her airy-fairy scheduling. Port day in Palermo, Sicily and Joan says Octavia has to work, despite getting up in the wee hours for the ectopic. "Foul!" cries JSN Mary Silver. "No biggie," says Octavia, who then goes to bed for the few hours she has before her shift. Mary wakes her up at 1pm ...in time for a nice surprise.
Five hours of shore leave are wangled out of SSN Joan Wise by SSD Professor Lucas van der Weijnen (who knows what devious tactics he used?)...five hours to sample to delights of Sicily. Lucas is waiting on the gangplank and he has plans. Not only does he have plans, he also has a small Fiat that is reputed to "go like a bomb." Sight-seeing is engaged in, but more importantly, so is conversation. Confidences are shared:
*SSD Professor "Call me Lucas" van der Weijnen: he's nearing 40, a widower and has a nine year-old daughter named Berendina.
*Octavia got her name partly from being born in the month of August and partly because her parents had been married long enough to have had seven kids before her. Editor's Note: I'm so relieved that Betty had a reason to give her such a clunky name, because frankly, Octavia Lock sounds like a character from Spiderman II (Doc Ock).
The next shore leave is even shorter. Two hours to visit the wonders of Greece. Call Me Lucas has managed to procure a battered Citröen. Two hours is barely enough time to get through Athens to the Acropolis and climb up to the Parthenon and back...but they manage, thanks to Octavia's flat shoes and Call Me Lucas' helping hands.
Octavia doesn't get shore leave at Rhodes or Alexandria, but she does go dancing with Lucas for an hour or so one evening where they manage to waltz, foxtrot, tango AND do the bossa-nova. A brief stroll on deck, then a kiss goodnight and a promise of shore leave in Malta.
Octavia gets the whole day to visit Malta...but she hasn't heard any more about it from Lucas for a day or two, so off she goes, alone. She should have known better. Lucas is waiting on shore with a rented Austin this time.
Back to Southampton and it's time to pack up and go home. Lucas offers Octavia a ride home and a proposal of marriage. You heard me. Lucas pops the question. Which surprises our girl. As well it should. Lucas has really thought this through and tells her that he thinks they should suit each other, in a marriage of convenience kind of way. She fulfils all his requirements...which sounds like she would be answering a want ad - "If you like pina coladas...and gettin' caught in the rain..." Lucas wants her to think about it before answering, but girlfriend has got an answer right now, and that answer is no. N. O. Uh-uh. Nope. No sirree Bob. It's not that she's seeing anyone, it's that she needs to consider her aged parent. She can't just go away and leave him. That's okay, he still wants to drive her home. In his great socking Rolls.

Act III
Wherein Octavia Loses Someone Near and Dear

What is it with Neels and parents? Within seconds after Octavia gets home her father up and dies in her arms. Nice of him to wait for her, I'm sure. Lucas takes over, deals with all the arrangements, both for the funeral AND for a wedding. What? Girlfriend already said no!
Her: What time do you go tomorrow?
Him: I'm staying until after the funeral and then we can get married the following day.
Her: I never said yes!
Him: It's the sensible thing to do, besides, I think your father would have liked us to get married and my daughter was just saying she would like a mum - all the other kids have one.

Yes, Lucas is steamrolling her into the marriage, taking advantage of her grief, being high-handed...call it what you will, he's determined not to lose the woman he loves!

They get married and take the ferry to Holland.

Act IV
Mevrouw van der Weijnen in Holland

Octavia is a wee bit dismayed to find out that Lucas has such a fancy house. Lucky for her, she already knows two of the servants. Turns out Lucas was the mysterious benefactor of both Charlie and Mrs. Stubbs (see Act I). Berendina is a typical Neels nine-year old. She loves that she has a young, pretty mother (they will, like, totally bond over shopping). Berendina would like Octavia to have some babies. Oh, and why doesn't Octavia share a bedroom with daddy?

The remainder of the sojourn in Holland is mostly by-the-book Neels. Playboy Cousin Marcus chats up Octavia and muddies the waters. Mrs. Stubbs has an attack of appendicitis followed immediately by Octavia's Dawning Realization that she loves Lucas. Marcus takes himself off - he can see that Lucas is in love, he's really not such a bad guy.

Octavia drives Berendina to a birthday party. Lucas is concerned with driving conditions, and requests that Octavia leave early. Unfortunately, Marcus shows up at the party and distracts Octavia for about 45 minutes. He's in love with a young lady who won't consider him unless he settles down and gets a job. Because of the lateness of the hour, the roads are not completely safe - freezing rain and fog. Octavia avoids rear-ending the car in front of her, but is catapulted into by the car behind. Lucas shows up to save the day...but he's furious. Things seem to be going from bad to worse with Octavia and Lucas...

Octavia's finally had it. She corners Lucas as they are waiting for the Burgermeester and his wife to come over for dinner.
Her: "Blow the Burgermeester, and his lady! I've got something I must tell you!!!"(thank you Betty!)
Him (his face very white): Whatever is so important - whom does it concern?
Her: Marcus - and me, of course. Now that I've screwed up my courage, you're going to darn well listen!
Him: I'm not surprised about you and Marcus - he's your age and fun...
Her: He wants to marry Iona Hendriks...
Him: ummm....
Her: Shut up and listen! It's about me now. I'm leaving - I love you too much to stay.
Him: I've always loved you, I've known since the night of the ectopic. The whole thing with Marcus messed me up...
Kisses galore, then more kissing - the kissing doesn't stop until the Burgermeester and his lady show up.
The end.

Rating: I absolutely adore Act II. If the rest of the book lived up to it, I'd give it a lashings of whipped cream. Unfortunately the story bogs down to mediocrity for most of Act IV...right up until the delightful end - which is way too short. I think I'll have to average it out to somewhere between treacle tart and boeuf en croute.

Fashion: Pale Liberty print shirtwaister (no particular colour is mentioned), beautifully knitted blue cardigan for dad's housekeeper, coffee coloured outfit, grey flannel suit with her best brown calf shoes and a pretty little hat in stitched silk (wedding outfit), pink organza gown.

Food: timpana (a pie of macaroni and minced meat - I might give this one a whirl), saltimbocca, eclairs, and a meal made by our girl consisting of oversalted vegetables, horribly underdone meat and burnt custard, which the doctor manfully gets through.