Airports

It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on Earth has ever produced the phrase, 'as pretty as an airport.' Airports are ugly. Some are very ugly. Some attain a degree of ugliness that can only be the result of a special effort.
The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul by Douglas Adams

There really aren't a lot of airports in Neeldom. Schiphol is the one most often mentioned, with perhaps Heathrow in second place. While I've never been to either of them I have been to my fair share of airports.

Yesterday I went to Sea-Tac to pick up my #4 child who has been in Japan for 2 years. I could just about drive to Sea-Tac in my sleep - in spite of the fact that it's about an hour from my house (in good traffic). The interior is rather confusing - but a lot of that can be blamed on the extra security that it wasn't designed for. My least favorite thing about Sea-Tac isn't really the airport itself...it's the parking garage...well, parking in general. Even the "secure" parking lots that surround the airport come in for a fair amount of disdain on my part. For example: How did our minivan manage to get a parking ticket from Seattle (20ish miles away) the day before we returned from Charleston, when it was supposedly parked by the airport?

Let's rate some airports! On a scale from 1 to 10 (1 being 'festering boil' ugly)...

Sea-Tac - this is the airport I use most frequently. The exterior gets maybe a 3...the parking garage is fairly hideous (besides being difficult to navigate). I'd give it lower points except that on the occasional clear day, you get a stunning view of Mt. Rainer.
PDX - Portland International. I give this one a 8 for the creative use of plants to disguise part of the parking structure. Inside isn't too bad - I don't think I've ever been there when it's been really crowded.
Gatwick - I have no idea what the exterior looks like, but the interior is dated and slightly smelly. It gets a 2 - mostly because it has the most soul destroying customs area I've ever had the misfortune to be stuck in.
Charleston International Airport. Despite it's rather dated interior, I think this airport is cute as a bug...mostly because of its petite size compared to its impressive name. I give it a 6.
Narita/Tokyo Airport. Soaring ceilings, huge windows, customs is not in a dank room with no light (see Gatwick). Friendly information desk people. I give this one a 7.
Atlanta. I've never actually visited Atlanta...but I have changed planes there on more times than I care to remember. Atlanta is one of my least favorite airports. Ever. I've lost luggage there. Twice. Bad landings...often. Long taxiing to the runway...yeah (when we were going to Charleston this year, we spent as much time in the airplane before take-off as we did in the air). Long distances between gates. Gates changed. Can you tell I don't like this airport? I give it a 1.

How about your airport experiences? Which airports do you like...or hate?

Sewing With Dummies: How To Make a Book Cover

Before I begin, let me confess that I read crafting blogs and I have never, until now, appreciated the difficulty of taking step by step pictures of the entire process. Thumbs up miscellaneous skirt-sewing bloggers!

So, I found an old plastic book cover in the bins at Goodwill a few years ago and fell in love with it. First, they come with bookmarks already attached so there is no danger of misplacing them. Second, while I would practically mount a 24 hour neon sign on a head band pointing at my copy of any work by Dostoevsky under my arm, I don't mind covering some of the more passionate Neels clinches from my four-year-old.

Anyway, here's a simple 15 minute project for a basic book cover. Just know that I am a very simple, basic sewer and everything I know I learned from Betty Debbie. I will, in the instructions, assume you are too stupid to tie your own shoes.

I cut outside cloth, inside cloth and interfacing fabric (doesn't need to be iron-on. This is just to give a little heft) each 10.25" x 8" for the main body of the book cover. Now that I've used them I think that you could tighten up these numbers a smidge for these particular books but, to quote Edna Mode, "I made it a little roomy for the free movement." The larger number would work well for omnibuses and thicker books but for the smaller, I'd maybe cut it 9.75" x 8".
Cut two panels, each one 3.5" x 8" for the inside cover flaps in the fabric of your choice. Making this wider is also possible if you desire extra stability for your books but 3 and a half inches worked well for me. (If you want to make these more heavy duty, just double the width of the fabric, fold it in half and stick a piece of interfacing (I'd probably use iron-on for this) between it and skip the next two steps.)
Double fold one edge of each of your inside cover flaps and iron down.
Top stitch that ironed edge.
Place cover flaps on the piece of fabric you want to go on the inside--making sure that the finished edges face the middle. Also, add a ribbon bookmark at this point, just to the left of the right book flap.Stack the 'outside fabric', face down on the previous stack. Place the interfacing on top of that.
Pin around the edges and begin sewing along the bottom edge, about an inch and a half from dead center, allowing for a quarter inch seam. (You'll want to start so that you're sewing into the book flap quite soon.) Sew all the way around (backing over the bookmark for extra stability) until you are roughly three inches away from where you started. (Again, you don't want to stop until after you've gone over the book flap part.)
Reaching into your three inch hole, pull it inside out--being sure to check for gaps and pushing all the corners out. Lazy cheaters will then top stitch over the hole (being careful to tuck the rough edges inside.) but the rest of us will blind-stitch the opening for a more finished look.I knocked out 7 of these bad boys in an hour or two, with the toddler playing a few feet from me. The cutting takes the most time and it's funner if you can do that all at once and then go from there.
And then I named them. Here are some:

Flattering Rosy-Pink Lampshade

The Araminta
(Unassuming on the outside but...)

Implied Conjugal Relations in Remote Scottish Cottage

This one was harder. It has a windmill, so there's the Dutch thing but toile always reminds me of Paris. So, of course it had to be:

Trampy Husband-Snatching Ward

We may have to have another contest for Bettysday...

Life After Betty - Nevil Shute, Part II

This is the second of two posts about Nevil Shute. I'm not planning on any more - Nevil Shute is something of a departure from Betty Neels, so I'll finish up with these two:

The Far Country.
This one was also made into a mini-series (or maybe a tv movie...not sure). The plot of the mini-series/movie is pretty far removed from the plot of the book. I was able to check it out from my local library - I'm glad I didn't buy it. The book is far better.
Red-headed Jenny (very Betty Neels), works in London. Her existence there is pretty bleak. There is a lot of references to food shortages...and then her grandmother dies...basically Grandma dies of starvation, but not before giving Jenny a check for 500 pounds and telling her to go visit Cousin Jane in Australia, where food is plentiful and the living is less bleak. In Australia Jenny meets lumber jack Carl (he's a displaced person...a European refugee from a post WWII camp)...Carl was a doctor in the German army, now he helps out as a sort of first aid person in the lumber camp. Jenny helps Carl amputate a man's leg and then do a bit a brain surgery on another man. Nothing like a spot of excitement and blood to help two people to fall in love. The descriptions of Australia are vivid and enchanting, the descriptions of post-war England are bleak and dreary (and somewhat lacking in comestibles). Much of the love story revolves around the fact that Jenny wants Carl to get a license to practice medicine in Australia, not just be a lumberman (see, we still manage to get the doctor angle in, even though he's not rich or Dutch).


Pied Piper
While grieving for the loss of his only son, elderly John Howard goes to France for a fishing trip. He runs into a problem...or rather, a problem runs into France. Germany invades while he's there. He decides it's his patriotic duty to head home to England. Along the way he gets saddled with several children that need saving...which he does. In spite of the war-time setting (death, gore, bombs, etc...) it's a surprisingly gentle story. There is a love story, but it's not the main story.

Here's a couple more good ones:

• Trustee From the Toolroom - my personal favorite.
• The Chequer Board - perhaps 1st runner up.

In all fairness I didn't care for all of his books...especially:

• On the Beach - I just can't get into a book wherein everyone dies. Everyone. On the Beach is probably Shute's most famous book, and it was made into a Hollywood movie (starring an Uncrushable favorite - Gregory Peck). I haven't seen the movie, so I won't make any comment...except: Fred Astaire in a post nuclear war apocalyptic story?
  

Cinema Betty

The Proposal was a little too short and tapioca-like to spur me to to depths of inspiration so I'm going for the obvious:

The Proposal (2009)
It's not that great. Really. To steal horribly from Pirates of Penzance...There are the remains of a fine romantic comedy about The Proposal. Sandra Bullock is as charming as you can get as a harried Canadian publisher. Ryan what's-his-name plays her American beleaguered personal assistant. INS troubles prompt an impromptu engagement/wedding in the Frozen North. Betty White is the foul-mouthed grandma (I'm kinda over it.) and the whole thing deserves a meh.

Since they went to see the musical in The Vicar's Daughter, I have no problem recommending:

Sunset Boulevard (1950)

I love this movie. I've been a fan of William Holden since seeing Stalag 17 (watch me work that in sometime!) and the whole movie has lovely, desperate, pitiful bass notes. He couldn't possibly play a role as an RDD (leave that to Gregory Peck) as he is a little too shifty looking. He'd make a great fink cousin to an RDD that lures unsuspecting Aramintas to Holland and breaks their heart.

Betty and the Real World

The Proposal:
Brontes the Cyclops is literally the only slim piece of reality in the entire book, I think. Let's see if I can dredge a little more life out of it:
Brontes, Steropes, and Arges are mainly mentioned in passing in most of the myths to convey strength in heroes and the fine quality of weapons but are major characters in one other event – their deaths at the hands of Apollo. Zeus struck Asclepius, Apollo's son, down with a thunderbolt for having risen a person from the dead. Apollo was outraged and killed the Cyclopes who had forged the deadly thunderbolt. It appears that Apollo's rage was misplaced, yet by killing the Cyclopes, he was indirectly punishing Zeus. The ghosts of Brontes, Steropes, and Arges are said to dwell in Mt. Aetna, an active volcano that smokes as a result of their burning forges.
What a pity we have science to tell us that a volcano couldn't possibly be smoking from a ghostly forge...


The Vicar's Daughter:
At a Christmas party the children play: Musical Chairs, Blind Man's Bluff and one I had never heard of called Grandmother's Footsteps. After reading the rules it sounded a little like a cross between Mother-May-I and Red Light Green Light, except that when the player who is IT gets to begin the action by saying (in some versions) 'one, two, three, four five jam tarts'. How adorable is that?

Our heroine and hero go to the theatre and see Sunset Boulevard. The musical was staged in 1993 so this would have only been a few years old when they would have seen it. Based on the 1950 film, Andrew Lloyd Weber initially asked Amy Powers, a lawyer from New York with no professional lyric-writing experience, to write the lyrics. A heavily revised and reworked (new writers after she flopped) version is what you see on the stage today.

The Vicar's Daughter - Discussion Thread

Gijs likes driving at night - he does have to slow down for animals...which is part of the reason I hate driving at night. A few years ago our brother (we shall call him Betty Brian) was traveling through the mountains (not big ones but if you live on the Oregon coast and want to get anywhere...) when a deer bounded out of the foliage and totaled their car. Not long before that, the little Mijnheer and I were traveling those same mountains when the sprightliest little doe and fawn nearly caused us to flip our van and did cause us to spin 180 degrees. (No deer were harmed in the event that nearly cost our lives.) I'm always glad that Mijnheer van Voorhees is driving as he his less excitable than this Betty.

The Vicar's Daughter references "travellers". What are they? Gypsies or homeless people? Betty Debbie was sort of thinking homeless but this Betty thought splitting the difference and calling them 'tramps' would be more apt. But then, the text makes clear that they aren't tramps...Maybe it was becoming less PC to call them gypsies, perhaps?

The village name is Thinbottom which sounds either hobbitish or Harry Potterish but also would make a great place-name for a slimming spa...owned by Samwise Gamgee and papered over with pictures of Gollum: A Thinbottom Success Story!)

Aunt Flo rubs her chest with camphorated oil. When I was sick as a little girl my parents would slather me with Vick's VapoRub but I don't think it's in the same family. Check out the unintentionally hilarious wiki article on camphor:
It can be synthetically produced from oil of turpentine. It is used for its scent, as an ingredient in cooking (mainly in India), as an embalming fluid, in religious ceremonies and for medicinal purposes.
Now I'm wondering why they don't have instant tanning booths spraying us down with this regularly...

Wedding gift from George is a pair of bronze pig bookends. Clearly George is the best person in the entire world.

Margo asks if there is a speed limit - Gijs replies, yes, but it's largely ignored. When I travel the I-5 corridor up to Betty Debbie's house past Seattle, I have the speed limits down pat...and then I largely ignore them.

Corinne is supposed to have an assignation on the steps of the National Gallery. It doesn't get more public than that. I mean, I long for the days when you had to exhibit some creativity over illicit romantic encounters. (Not in Brighton!) But a rendezvous on the steps of one of the largest tourist attractions in England?! Corinne is obviously too stupid for love.

The Vicar's Daughter - 1996

Yay! I get to review a book that I really enjoy! The Vicar's Daughter might very well make it onto my top ten Neels list.
Professor Gijs van Kessel is enjoying a relaxing drive in the country late one evening, when suddenly a girl pops out in front of him and flags him down. Margo Pearson, 28 year-old parson's daughter, is helping with the delivery of a baby - after all, she's got her First Aid merit badge or something. Gijs grabs his doctor bag and crawls into the tent with Margo and the laboring girl. Non-squeamish Margo is actually very helpful - including following the "put your hand here and keep it steady" post-partum instructions.
Margo Pearson is the epitome of my favorite Neels heroine. Plucky, pragmatic, resourceful, sensible...I love her. A lot. I also love Gijs. He's kind, thoughtful, handy to have around in an emergency, and pretty darn direct.
Margo is an only child. Her father is the vicar (maybe you already guessed that from the title?), Margo and her mum are his able assistants. Margo has been drifting into potential marriage with pig farmer George Merridew. George has been courting her cautiously with a view to eventual marriage with the grudging blessing of his overbearing mother. Mrs. Merridew thinks that as a vicar's daughter, Margo would be a suitable wife for her boy - after some moulding. Unfortunately for George, Margo is not a girl to be moulded. And frankly, after seeing Gijs, Margo knows that prosaic, pig-farming George is not the man for her. She doesn't have any illusions about her looks, or rather, lack of them, but she does wish she had looks that would make men look twice and remember her. Professor van Kessel does remember her...as a small girl without fear, sensible and bossy. Ouch. That's not what Margo has in mind.
Sir William, local bigwig, asks Margo if she will take his granddaughter to London. No problemo. Margo takes Imogen to her aunts house...Imogen's young cousin is being seen by a paediatric specialist...none other than Professor van Kessel. Professor RDD offers to take Margo home in an hour. During which hour, Margo is ignored by the household staff and practically starves to death. The Prof. offers to buy her some lunch, since he missed his too (he's fibbing - he just had lamb cutlets and some substantial apple tart at the hospital - see, I told you he was kind). Margo endears herself to the doctor by just ordering an omelette and salad.
Back at the vicarage in time for a substantial tea, Professor Doctor Gijs van Kessel endears himself to me by inviting the Pearson family to just call him Gijs. Editor's Note: I really like the fact that Margo doesn't have to spend 185 pages calling the RDD "Professor van Kessel" - and not just because it's a pain to type.During tea, Margo gets to thinking about what Gijs' home life might be like and wonders whether he is married. Margo, being Margo, it was no sooner said than done. "Are you married?" Embarrassment klaxons are blaring...but Gijs is adorable...and described by Betty as "either a man with the kindest heart imaginable or was prone to deafness."
Despite the burgeoning friendship with Gijs, Margo goes over to the Merridew farm to help George's mum preserve plums. While stoning plums, girlfriend has an epiphany that she can't possibly marry George the pig-farmer. Upon returning home, she tells her own mum that although she's fond of George, she just doesn't love him. She would like to be cosseted and spoilt and loved very much. Frankly I think it's the thought of living with George's mum that really has her put off the idea. She'd rather stay single than marry George and have to live with his mum.
George takes the news the next morning with a disturbing lack of concern...which was a very lowering thought to a girl...
In order to take a breather and "clear the decks", Margo heads off to visit Aunt Florence...an archdeacon's widow with a sharp nose, a sharp tongue and a warm heart. While taking a walk, Margo spots a toddler lying unconscious in the creek. She recognizes the little girl as the granddaughter of Lady Trueman, and marches her back to the manor in the pouring rain, losing a shoe in the process. A paediatric specialist is called in...no other than our Gijs. We've got to stop meeting like this...it seems that we are destined to only meet in emergencies. He drives her back to Aunt Flo's house where Margo discovers that "the peculiar feeling she had been experiencing for the last hour or so wasn't a cold in the head, it was love!" Margo is bundled off to bed while Aunt Flo and Gijs chat about her over a cup of coffee. Gijs reflects to himself that besides being surprised at seeing Margo again, he was also pleased. Hmmm. Pleased and surprised? Nice.

Pleased enough to stop by Margo's stall at the church bazaar. Margo is in charge of the "Good-As-New" clothes...and steps out of character to remark, "do people really buy other people's clothes?" Editor's Note: I would think that a vicar's daughter would know better than that. At twenty-eight years old she's probably been to at least a couple dozen bazaars or jumble sales...which probably had used clothing stalls. But I digress. Gijs stops by to dispense a little fashion advice to the customers and invite Margo out to dinner - getting to know each other without an imminent medical emergency.

Dinner is lovely (even if her clothes aren't), and the two carry on a refreshingly two-sided conversation. Good-byes are said, Margo assumes that's the last she'll get to see of Gijs. Which it is, until time for her to head back home. When Gijs shows up at the door, Aunt Flo tells her that it must have slipped her mind, but Gijs is going to drive her home. Another last good-by? He reminds her of a promise he had made to arrange a hospital tour for her. He'll pick her up next Tuesday.

Gijs really does admire Margo - she would make a splendid wife and mother, so hey, maybe while he's at it he can find a way for her to meet one of the younger doctors, however, when he does see her with Houseman Alec he forgets his idea - he finds no pleasure in the sight of her with the younger man. Hmmm.

Meanwhile, Margo is not too happy with Gijs. In fact, she's boiling with rage. What? Mild-mannered Margo is ticked off? Why for? Gijs is mystified at her coolness towards himself during the drive home. He makes Margo stay in the car until she tells him. Tell him what?
Her: "You said I was a sensible girl with no silly ideas. Alec thought I sounded like a schoolteacher. If that's what you think of me I don't want to see you again, ever."
Him: But you are a sensible girl with a refreshing lack of silly ideas...

Her: See what I mean? It's call damning with faint praise. I'd rather have none of that.

Margo bitterly regrets her words.

One week later. Mom and Dad are out for the day running errands and doing a spot of early Christmas shopping. Oh, and dying in a motor accident.

Margo calls Aunt Flo. Who finds Gijs at her doorstep. Who offers to drive her to Margo. Who cries on his shoulder. Who swallowed the spider who ate the fly...I don't know why...

Gijs is so sweet...he would take her grief on his shoulders if he could, he even goes so far as to tell Margo. I'm going to use this to excuse some future bad behaviour. Gijs proceeds to help with all the formalities associated with the funeral and comforting Margo.

Aunt Flo is distressed about Margo - what will happen to her now? I shall marry her. Oh heck, I'm in love. He takes Margo for a walk to the place where they met, gives her a hanky while she sobs and snivels, then proceeds to propose in a rather delightful way. It might be a marriage of convenience...but it's very friendly and open.

Margo is a little worried about marrying him - but Aunt Flo has no such qualms..."you're marrying him because you love him, so of course you're doing the right thing." Wow. Even Margo's ecclesiastical aunt can tell.

In preparation for the wedding, some judicious shopping is engaged in - including a new house for the newlyweds. Yup, they jump right into buying real estate together. Which is surprisingly easy for them...unlike the months Dr. van der Stevejinck and I took to find our current residence.

On the way to the wedding ceremony Margo considers the fact that since Gijs isn't in love with anyone else, she may as well have a go at helping him to fall in love with her. It might take years, but it would be totally worth it.

The wedding is lovely - the whole village turns out for it. Cross-over characters Gijs and Beatrice van der Eekerk (Wedding Bells for Beatrice) are in attendance also. Note: Gijs has got to be the most commonly used RDD name in Neeldom, which does lead to some confusion on my part. Sir William throws a lovely reception for the happy couple before they head off for the requisite trip to Holland. On the drive through the countryside Gijs promises to get Margo a car so that she can be independent..."She had no wish to be independent - she would like to stick to him like a leech."

The house of van Kessel is awfully big and fancy...Margo has her suspicions that Gijs might actually be a millionaire. Which he happens to be.

Her: I dare say I'll get used to it..

Him: If you can't bear to live here, we'll close it up and live in a cottage. (see - he's nice!)It's very close to Christmas - so Margo and Gijs go  Christmas shopping for all of Gijs family (who Margo hasn't yet met) and the servants (who she has). Christmas is a lovely family occasion - all of Gijs siblings, their spouses and children are there. And everyone likes her. After Christmas the extra family leaves, and it's down to Gijs and Margo (and the servants). It's pretty quiet - and so Margo goes for a walk. Unfortunately it starts snowing and she gets lost. Of course Gijs saves the day - but he's breathing pretty hard by the time he does - and it's not altogether because he had been running.

Gijs takes Margo furniture shopping (for their new house) in the attic of his house in Holland. Amongst the detritus of past decorating styles, Margo spots a cradle. Turns out all the van Kessel offspring spend their first month or so in it. Which begs the question...Gijs wanted a wife, but does he want children????

Back to London and the new house - it's coming along swimmingly when Gijs announces that his younger sister, Corinne the Corrupter, is coming to visit. Even though Corinne the Playing Fast and Loose with Her Marriage Vows is Gijs' sister, she is no role model for future Neels heroines. She carries on a secret 'Brightonless' (we hope) affair with the dastardly Jerome...secret until she fesses up to Margo, then vows her to secrecy. Corinne the Terminally Stupid gets into trouble with Jerome - he wants her to 'go to Brighton'. Corinne the Too Stupid to be Allowed sheds some tears in front of Margo and begs her to get rid of Jerome for her...when Margo shows doubts about helping her, Corinne plays the "I'm going to have a baby" card (don't worry, it's her husband's child...not Jerome's) and Margo agrees to help. This leads to some BIG TROUBLE with Gijs...because he sees Margo and Jerome having an intense conversation on the steps of the National Gallery - and Margo won't explain (remember - vow of silence). Since Margo won't say anything, Gijs ships her off to Aunt Flo's for a week - which doesn't help. When Margo gets back, Gijs announces that he's going to Holland for a couple of weeks. Alone. Margo sticks it out for about a week and a half then follows him to have it out. She offers to have the marriage annulled...Gijs tells girlfriend that he loves her too much to see her unhappy...Whatever shall I do, she wails. Gijs drives up to Friesland for the night - then goes straight to his office in the morning. Corinne the I'm Pregnant So I Should Get Away With It shows up and confesses all (her husband is making her do it) and ends her confession with tears and baby news. Gijs is way the heck too nice to her - but he does beg her never to ask Margo to make any more promises - because she was brought up to keep them. At all costs.
Gijs races back to the house - Margo hasn't left for her flight yet. He finally finds her in the attic, sobbing over the cradle. I love you's all round...then some implied future conjugal relations - "The cradle will need a good polish." The End.
Rating: I love this book. A lot. Margo is my favorite kind of Neels heroine: plucky, resourceful and cheerful. Gijs is adorable. He's nice even before he falls in love - no hooded eyes for him! The age difference is not that great - 28/35. The only fly in the marital ointment is baby sister. If I could change one thing about this book, it would be that Corinne got a little more closely acquainted with consequences, but that's not how The Great Neels rolled...I give this one a queen of puddings!

Food: I'm guessing Betty penned this in the fall, because we have apple crumble (twice), apple tart AND Dutch apple tart. Not only that, but we also have a couple of casseroles, bacon sandwiches, toffee pudding, treacle tart, jam roly-poly pudding, roast pheasant , almond tart with lashings of whipped cream - all these things sound very fall/winter comfort food kind of dishes.

Fashion: at the used clothing stall there is a dress of puce nylon with a pattern of startling green leaves, draped to disguise the wearer's curves. Wow. Margo buys a new wardrobe consisting of a velvet skirt, elaborate top in delicate apricot, blue dress and jacket to be married in, brown jersey dress, blue cashmere dress, brown cashmere coat, and two party dresses, including a dark green velvet with a very immodest neckline.