Grace Livingston Hill: Part Two

I thought I'd round up a few of my favorite titles. I don't love all of hers but the ones I like best are the domestic ones that talk about cooking and cleaning and sewing--it's like a picture post-card of the past of the profession I know best.
Some of her strictures I find interesting (no dancing?!--ever?) and she can sometimes be heavy-handed. I remember reading one early work where a sister goes to live with her brothers who, before she gets there to change their lives, are uncivilized louts. The character's horror upon seeing...(hold on, I may shock you)...a...(I daren't say it!)...pipe...(I had to!)...on the mantle made me want to immediately take up smoking in protest--and I actually have specific religious health codes against it!
But there are lots and lots of fun ones that warmly share her faith, make you laugh and are great reads.

The Honor Girl (1927): This is barely a romance at all but I love it just the same. Elsie is a young girl gaining acclaim and honor as the cherished niece of a wealthy man. But how would she fare if she returned to her father and brothers--living in squalor and desperately needing her help? She returns to her family home (after being raised by her aunt and uncle) on a whim and finds that she must stay. Lots and lots of wholesome cooking, rehabilitation, linen purchasing and room turning-out. Betty would have approved.

The Enchanted Barn (1918): Shirley Hollister's family (including one of GLH's patented near-death mothers) is about to be homeless. Her discovery of a beautiful stone barn in the country leads her to approach its owner--a young man anxious to facilitate one of those yuppie loft renovations you see in the condo district--and ask to rent it. Will her family countenance living in a barn--even one as trendily made-over as this? Will you stomach the way GLH must faithfully recreate ethnic accents and kid-speech? (Never tum bat any moh! Oh, mine nice, pitty dear home!)

More Than Conqueror (1944): Charlie has loved Blythe all his life and when he goes off to war, even though they're practically strangers, his last stop is at the rich house on the hill where she lives. Of course they're meant for each other but what about Dan--the wastrel hanging about Blythe? What about her parents? What about facing certain death in the teeth of the enemy? Lots of home front details, letters and one good clinch at the end.

Life After Betty - Grace Livingston Hill: Part One

Betty Keira and I decided to do a couple of posts each about Grace Livingston Hill. So here goes...

Grace Livingston Hill (1865-1947) was born on April 16, 1865 to a Presbyterian Minister, Charles and a published author, Marcia, in Wellsville, New York. She was an early 20th century "Christian Romance" novelist. She was immensely popular in the time that she wrote, contributing hundreds of novels and short stories during her lifetime. Her characters were most often young female ingénues, frequently strong Christian women or those who become so within the confines of the story. -Wikipedia

Neither Betty Keira or I are particularly fond of "Christian Romance", but we make an exception for the occasional GLH. Grace did have the tendency to be fairly heavy-handed with the religious elements within her stories...which sometimes weighs down the storyline too much - to the point of dreariness, but when she does it with a light hand, her books can be quite fun. Betty and Grace both specialized in clean romances, but there are vast differences in themes and characters:

*GLH heroines are most often described in terms of "dainty, wraith-like and delicate" no 'Olivia's' allowed.

*Instead of being hearty trencherwomen like Betty's girls, GLH girls live on things like one lettuce leaf, and half a radish, although they are generally capable of cooking for the menfolk.

*Favorite hair color? Nary a mouse to be found. GLH heroines are nearly all ethereal blondes.

*Parents, in GLH, if living, are generally feeble and aged, in much need of tender care because they are liable to pop off at any time - making Neel's parents seem quite robust in comparison.

*GLH did not countenance drinking, dancing, smoking, make-up, gambling, divorces...

*Fun can be had in healthy sports such as swimming, tennis, bicycle riding, horse riding and visits to the oceanside for convalescent parents.

*Heroes have vague sort of careers...something to do with "Banking", something to do with "The Government," etc...generally the heroes are described as being "very good in their line"- I find myself pretty much left in the dark as to what that "line" might be.

*Plots are often highly melodramatic (think 'silent movies')...but considering when Grace started writing, they were probably mainstream. I find that when reading GLH it's best to act like it was written 'tongue in cheek', and simply enjoy the anachronisms, which fly with merry abandon.

Exit Betty - 1919 (available for free download here). First of all, the name....Exit Betty! This was the first GLH book that I ever read. Betty collapses at her wedding when she sees that the bridegroom is not who she expected...it's her evil stepbrother, Herbert! She escapes out a side door and runs into Jane (who would have been a friendly Cockney if this had been written by LaNeels). Jane takes her in, dyes Betty's golden hair and ships her off to her hometown in Ohio. If you can get past the character of Betty (who makes the most wispy of Aramintas look positively 'butch') - who is about as dumb as a post, there's plenty of inadvertently campy fun to be had.

For more free campy fun try:

The Man of the Desert - 1914. (also available as free download). The heroine is carried off by a runaway horse after she slaps a divorced man who tried to kiss her!

Cinema Betty

I think I deserve massive points for not recommending a Star Wars film for Heaven is Gentle--as Darth Vader is a serious asthma sufferer if there ever was one. (Coooh--Gaaah.) Maybe like the beta-asthmatics, it's even caused because of emotional reasons--the Emperor brings it on, perhaps? I just don't see him willingly being marched around a Scotland in damp weather. Anyway, I tried to make a better choice and so it's:

Stardust (2007)Are you a moron?

Not only was it filmed in Scotland but also has a bit about a fairy-land king with 7 sons named for their place in the family (Primus, Secundus, ect.) just like that pregnant cat that Eliza adopts. There's a great love-story about two people who don't hit it off at all initially--one of whom has pledged himself to another (not named Estelle).
I stumbled across this movie a couple of years ago when my family was out of town and just loved it. The pacing and focus can be criticized but it's got a great heart.

Never While the Grass Grows has that lovely ship's infirmary. The hands-down best ship's hospital in the entire world of film is in:

Operation Petticoat (1959)

Permission to come aboard!

Beleaguered and inexpressibly hot submarine captain (Cary Grant) must keep a rag-tag crew, a felonious supply clerk, a pink sub and five stacked (in the classical sense...as in built, shapely and curvaceous) nurses in order. Every crewman develops a reason to visit the infirmary and pass the ladies in the tight quarters.
The well-endowed nature of the nurses isn't a accidental. It's positively a plot point and a matter of life and death.

Betty and the Real World

Heaven is Gentle:
Eliza's brother works for the Common Market in Brussels. Here's a link to a 1971 article in Time about the Common Market as a sort of proto-EU. It was developed after WWII as a way to combat certain (we're all thinking Deutsch, right?) nationalism but critics might see a little anschluss-ian bent. While I simply adore the Euro and what it has done for tourist mobility, I suspect that recent developments re: Germany/Greece might give members pause. You may all take a deep breath now as that's as close to the dangerous shoals of politics this Betty will go.

In drippy Scotland, the asthmatics stay in Nissen huts. They are very similar to Quonset huts in the U.S.--long half-cylindrical structures. The only ones I remember were in the back of my hometown School Administration building (formerly the town high school), whose parking lot I had to cut across to get home from the middle school. I think they held old desks and chairs and looked uncomfortable.

Instead of telling Eliza anything personal about his hometown, Christian relates it's history as a part of the Hanseatic Empire:
an economic alliance of trading cities and their guilds that established and maintained a tradec.13th–17th centuries). The Hanseatic cities had their own law system and furnished their own protection and mutual aid, thus having a sort of a political autonomy and in some cases creating political entities of their own.monopoly along the coast of Northern Europe. It stretched from the Baltic to the North Sea and inland, during the Late Middle Ages and early modern period
Is this reminding anyone of that Common Market?--or the Star Wars Trade Federation, come to that?
After the EU enlargement to the East in May 2004 there are some experts who wrote about the resurrection of the Baltic Hansa. Oh. I see it does.

Eliza picks up a little light reading. John Donne--The Broken Heart. As it is awesome I will copy the whole and highlight the best bits:

He is stark mad, whoever says,
That he hath been in love an hour,Yet not that love so soon decays,But that it can ten in less space devour ;
Who will believe me, if I swear
That I have had the plague a year?
Who would not laugh at me, if I should sayI saw a flash of powder burn a day?
Ah, what a trifle is a heart,
If once into love's hands it come !
All other griefs allow a part
To other griefs, and ask themselves but some ;
They come to us, but us love draws ;
He swallows us and never chaws ;
By him, as by chain'd shot, whole ranks do die ;
He is the tyrant pike, our hearts the fry.
If 'twere not so, what did become
Of my heart when I first saw thee?
I brought a heart into the room,
But from the room I carried none with me.
If it had gone to thee, I know
Mine would have taught thine heart to show
More pity unto me ; but Love, alas !
At one first blow did shiver it as glass.

Yet nothing can to nothing fall,
Nor any place be empty quite ;
Therefore I think my breast hath all
Those pieces still, though they be not unite ;
And now, as broken glasses showA hundred lesser faces, so
My rags of heart can like, wish, and adore,
But after one such love, can love no more.

Never While the Grass Grows:


In Athens, Octavia comes armed with a list of sight-seeing destinations. 'Father told me to be sure and study the Propylaea (--a monumental gateway that serves as the entrance to the Acropolis in Athens): and the Erechtheum with its caryatides':
Caryatides, I find, are not bugs (though they do sound like they are). They are those maiden pillars holding the rooftops on their heads.

Never While the Grass Grows--Discussion Thread

When our fair heroine sees that Lucas is a professor she assumes that he's a schoolteacher, that's why he's so bossy. Until immersing myself in the land of Neels I had no idea you could be a Doctor/Professor. Also,I get an Ichabod Crane vibe when I think of lecturing professorial types not vast and lazy-eyed.

The cruise ship name is the S.S. Socrates. I'm a fan of the philosophizing--why else is there a horizon to contemplate and various buffets? (I eat therefore I am.) But would there be a better name? I vote the S.S. Plato--with his Theory of Forms (yes, I had to look the name up), surely the puns about the sunset being a Platonic Ideal would flow fast and furious.

While lolling in the nurse's home one of the younger nurses says, "I votes we get married". (Because chasing tots and changing fecal matter all day would be a step up.) According to an informal survey of nurses I've met (maybe five or six), I'd say that it's an unusually accommodating profession for married mommies who want to spend lots of time at home. A friend of mine had twins and was able to work a a couple of 12 hour shifts each week to maintain her credentials and stay with her babies for the other five days. Another of my nurse friends has 8 kids. Do we have any other nurses out there with an opinion?

The whole idea of an on-board hospital is fantastic. Whenever I read books wherein the heroine has to travel by ship, they always seem to luck out in the sea-sickness department. This Betty has a notoriously weak stomach and I'd be sure, if I was one such heroine, to fall in love with the infirmary doctor because of his open-handedness with the Dramamine.

On shore Lucas wears his white uniform! It's actually darling to see an RDD stray from the strict formality of a well-tailored suit. And since it's a cruise, I can forgive the white pants. But the white smock top? That's a little dental. Hmm. Maybe since it's a ship they gave him something more military--in which case I say, "Aye, Aye, Skipper!"

"Like all large men, the doctor was a good dancer." Erm...bunkum. Most large men worry about crushing their partners as though they were Godzilla and the lady a Tokyo high-rise. Maybe The Great Neels was channeling John Travolta--he did famously twirl HRH Princess Di at a White House shindig...

Our gal remembered to bring a scarf for sight-seeing at the Cathedral of St. John in Malta. I haven't had to do this when I've been to Protestant and Catholic European cathedrals (or even wear a skirt, come to that) but I understand that veiling heads is less common than it used to be within the faith. Still, as a tourist I appreciated the convenience of not having to change clothing for a religious destination but as a church-goer I was a little sad to see the cathedrals treated as cultural curiosities with good acoustics rather than houses of worship. Secular Europe bums me out. There. I'm off the soapbox.

On the ferry to Holland he says "If you want anything, don't hesitate to knock me up." I think I'll just leave that as it stands.

Lucas calls his father 'Vader' - which I assume is Dutch for 'father'...but makes me think of 'Darth Vader' and also makes me think that George Lucas is like an onion--so many layers!

Never While the Grass Grows - 1978

Last week I got to review The Vicar's Daughter, which I love, love, love. I mentioned that it would be a Top Ten favorite of mine...I'm not as fond of Never While the Grass Grows, but I would put it somewhere in my Top 40 - which means it's better than average, but not absolutely great.

Octavia Lock is a tall girl with a splendid figure. She is described as having "a happy temper"...which description in Neeldom is often followed by outbursts of peevishness and ill nature, but in this case, we get to see quite a bit of evidence that she actually is happy-tempered. She's also beautiful, which, along with her happy nature, leads her to be popular with the housemen at St. Maud's, but even at the ripe old age of 27, she's still heartwhole.

Act I

Wherein Things are Tough in London for the Elderly and Unemployed.

An elderly unemployed handyman is brought into Casualty - dirty, half-starved and suffering from pneumonia and some ennui. "What's the use of me getting better? I've nowhere to go and who'd want the likes of me?" Octavia gets him admitted and promises to visit him.
A tall man with with broad shoulders and a giant's stride comes into Cas carrying an old woman who was mugged. Tall Man is rather overbearing in his demands...which does rub Octavia the wrong way, but only until she sees his bloody knuckles and cut hand. "Oh, you're hurt! I hope you knocked them down and jumped on them!" (After Tall Man knocks a person down, jumping on them Is Not Necessary). The old lady is tended to and warded, after expressing an eerily similar ennui as the unemployed handyman, and Octavia goes about her business - only to find that Tall Man has been forgotten and neglected in a cubicle - and still needs his ATS shot.
They discuss the two old people who deserve happiness - she's concerned about their fate.
Goes home to visit her father...who is an absentminded Professor of Physics. He loves his daughter in a vague sort of way.
Back at the hospital she visits the elderly patients, Charlie and Mrs. Stubbs, who both seem to have acquired a mysterious benefactor. They both have somewhere to go when they're released from hospital. Hmmm.
A nurse who was going to quit to work on a cruise ship comes down with a dicky appendix..necessitating a replacement. Octavia is nominated and accepts (she is after all, 27 years old and in imminent danger of falling into a rut). This leads to my favorite section of the book.

Act II
A Mediterranean Cruise on the S.S. Socrates.

Cast:
Senior Ship's Nurse Joan Wise - a snotty bleached blonde who is all of 35. Plans duty hours using an 'airy-fairy' rotation schedule.
Junior Ship's Nurse Mary Silver - helpful 22 year-old - dresses rather sloppily in her off hours, spends every spare moment she can with JSD Colin White.
Temporary Ship's Nurse Octavia Lock - comes between SSN Joan Wise and JSN Mary Silver as far as seniority.
Junior Ship's Doctor Colin White - young doctor who has a thing for Junior Ship's Nurse Mary Silver.
Senior Ship's Doctor (filling in for Doctor Blamey) Professor Lucas van der Weijnen - who we've already met...that's right he's 'The Tall Man'.
Settings:
Nurses Quarters - all three nurses share a cabin.
Ship's Hospital - includes a small operating theatre complete with anaesthetic room and scrub room, a four-bed ward and a larger ward, a nice duty room...not to mention an elegantly fitted doctor's surgery.
After getting the grand tour, JSN Mary White whispers "Here's the boss." Octavia turns around and sees that it's The Tall Man - and he's looking a bit annoyed about something - and frowns fiercely at Octavia...who ignores the frown and gives him a cheerful 'hello, fancy meeting you here.' Enter SSN Joan Wise - let the games begin! Joan tries to dazzle with brilliant smiles and fluttering eyelashes and airy-fairy off duty schedules...which involves having Octavia fill in for her whenever she thinks she can get away with it.
Mr. Love comes into the surgery for his sunburn. I don't think he could have been feeling much pain - he's so tipsy, it's a wonder he was able to find the surgery. Mr. Love makes some moves on Octavia...it's the 'arm around the waist' grope. The second time he tries it, Doctor van der Weijnen gives him a cease and desist order. Then Mr. Love is instructed to remove his shirt, the doctor tut-tuts gently, gives him a warning about unwisely exposing his flesh to harmful UV rays..and then has Octavia apply 'a soothing ointment'. Mr. Love isn't done yet - he makes some remarks that imply Octavia and the doctor are 'a pair'. He digs himself into a hole with: "...we all fancy a pretty girl...I'll bet she knows which side her bread is buttered...you must have plenty of opportunity, the pair of you." Yikes! It's a good thing he's a patient - he gets off with a stern reprimand and a demand that he apologize to the pretty nurse.
Being on call is no joking matter. Sometime in the wee hours of the morning Octavia gets called in for an emergency. There's an ectopic down in cabin 336! Surgery is performed ably and efficiently by the Professor with the assistance of Dr. White, Nurse Octavia and two orderlies. **SPOILER ALERT** (I know, I know, we totally give away plots all the time - but I'm giving away the ending...so read on at your own peril!!) This scene (ectopic surgery) is the one that Lucas later says is where he fell in love with Octavia - let it colour your perception of their future relations or not - it's up to you.
SSN Joan Wise shows her true colours - and her airy-fairy scheduling. Port day in Palermo, Sicily and Joan says Octavia has to work, despite getting up in the wee hours for the ectopic. "Foul!" cries JSN Mary Silver. "No biggie," says Octavia, who then goes to bed for the few hours she has before her shift. Mary wakes her up at 1pm ...in time for a nice surprise.
Five hours of shore leave are wangled out of SSN Joan Wise by SSD Professor Lucas van der Weijnen (who knows what devious tactics he used?)...five hours to sample to delights of Sicily. Lucas is waiting on the gangplank and he has plans. Not only does he have plans, he also has a small Fiat that is reputed to "go like a bomb." Sight-seeing is engaged in, but more importantly, so is conversation. Confidences are shared:
*SSD Professor "Call me Lucas" van der Weijnen: he's nearing 40, a widower and has a nine year-old daughter named Berendina.
*Octavia got her name partly from being born in the month of August and partly because her parents had been married long enough to have had seven kids before her. Editor's Note: I'm so relieved that Betty had a reason to give her such a clunky name, because frankly, Octavia Lock sounds like a character from Spiderman II (Doc Ock).
The next shore leave is even shorter. Two hours to visit the wonders of Greece. Call Me Lucas has managed to procure a battered Citröen. Two hours is barely enough time to get through Athens to the Acropolis and climb up to the Parthenon and back...but they manage, thanks to Octavia's flat shoes and Call Me Lucas' helping hands.
Octavia doesn't get shore leave at Rhodes or Alexandria, but she does go dancing with Lucas for an hour or so one evening where they manage to waltz, foxtrot, tango AND do the bossa-nova. A brief stroll on deck, then a kiss goodnight and a promise of shore leave in Malta.
Octavia gets the whole day to visit Malta...but she hasn't heard any more about it from Lucas for a day or two, so off she goes, alone. She should have known better. Lucas is waiting on shore with a rented Austin this time.
Back to Southampton and it's time to pack up and go home. Lucas offers Octavia a ride home and a proposal of marriage. You heard me. Lucas pops the question. Which surprises our girl. As well it should. Lucas has really thought this through and tells her that he thinks they should suit each other, in a marriage of convenience kind of way. She fulfils all his requirements...which sounds like she would be answering a want ad - "If you like pina coladas...and gettin' caught in the rain

..." Lucas wants her to think about it before answering, but girlfriend has got an answer right now, and that answer is no. N. O. Uh-uh. Nope. No sirree Bob. It's not that she's seeing anyone, it's that she needs to consider her aged parent. She can't just go away and leave him. That's okay, he still wants to drive her home. In his great socking Rolls.

Act III
Wherein Octavia Loses Someone Near and Dear

What is it with Neels and parents? Within seconds after Octavia gets home her father up and dies in her arms. Nice of him to wait for her, I'm sure. Lucas takes over, deals with all the arrangements, both for the funeral AND for a wedding. What? Girlfriend already said no!
Her: What time do you go tomorrow?
Him: I'm staying until after the funeral and then we can get married the following day.
Her: I never said yes!
Him: It's the sensible thing to do, besides, I think your father would have liked us to get married and my daughter was just saying she would like a mum - all the other kids have one.

Yes, Lucas is steamrolling her into the marriage, taking advantage of her grief, being high-handed...call it what you will, he's determined not to lose the woman he loves!

They get married and take the ferry to Holland.

Act IV
Mevrouw van der Weijnen in Holland

Octavia is a wee bit dismayed to find out that Lucas has such a fancy house. Lucky for her, she already knows two of the servants. Turns out Lucas was the mysterious benefactor of both Charlie and Mrs. Stubbs (see Act I). Berendina is a typical Neels nine-year old. She loves that she has a young, pretty mother (they will, like, totally bond over shopping). Berendina would like Octavia to have some babies. Oh, and why doesn't Octavia share a bedroom with daddy?

The remainder of the sojourn in Holland is mostly by-the-book Neels. Playboy Cousin Marcus chats up Octavia and muddies the waters. Mrs. Stubbs has an attack of appendicitis followed immediately by Octavia's Dawning Realization that she loves Lucas. Marcus takes himself off - he can see that Lucas is in love, he's really not such a bad guy.

Octavia drives Berendina to a birthday party. Lucas is concerned with driving conditions, and requests that Octavia leave early. Unfortunately, Marcus shows up at the party and distracts Octavia for about 45 minutes. He's in love with a young lady who won't consider him unless he settles down and gets a job. Because of the lateness of the hour, the roads are not completely safe - freezing rain and fog. Octavia avoids rear-ending the car in front of her, but is catapulted into by the car behind. Lucas shows up to save the day...but he's furious. Things seem to be going from bad to worse with Octavia and Lucas...

Octavia's finally had it. She corners Lucas as they are waiting for the Burgermeester and his wife to come over for dinner.
Her: "Blow the Burgermeester, and his lady! I've got something I must tell you!!!"(thank you Betty!)
Him (his face very white): Whatever is so important - whom does it concern?
Her: Marcus - and me, of course. Now that I've screwed up my courage, you're going to darn well listen!
Him: I'm not surprised about you and Marcus - he's your age and fun...
Her: He wants to marry Iona Hendriks...
Him: ummm....
Her: Shut up and listen! It's about me now. I'm leaving - I love you too much to stay.
Him: I've always loved you, I've known since the night of the ectopic. The whole thing with Marcus messed me up...
Kisses galore, then more kissing - the kissing doesn't stop until the Burgermeester and his lady show up.
The end.

Rating: I absolutely adore Act II. If the rest of the book lived up to it, I'd give it a lashings of whipped cream. Unfortunately the story bogs down to mediocrity for most of Act IV...right up until the delightful end - which is way too short. I think I'll have to average it out to somewhere between treacle tart and boeuf en croute.

Fashion: Pale Liberty print shirtwaister (no particular colour is mentioned), beautifully knitted blue cardigan for dad's housekeeper, coffee coloured outfit, grey flannel suit with her best brown calf shoes and a pretty little hat in stitched silk (wedding outfit), pink organza gown.

Food: timpana (a pie of macaroni and minced meat - I might give this one a whirl), saltimbocca, eclairs, and a meal made by our girl consisting of oversalted vegetables, horribly underdone meat and burnt custard, which the doctor manfully gets through.

A Secret Infatuation--1994

Okay, just a word about that cover art. Is that heroine wearing tassels and appliques on her beige (!) windcheater? And a bow in her hair? He looks like James Bond (naturally the smoking hot blonde one) and even if he is wearing a pink shirt (no way in RDD h-e-double-hockey-sticks) it's all working for him. She looks like a foundling dressed up in cast-offs. Babes like Eugenie do not wear appliques. Still, as I shall assert presently, there is no gainsaying the awesomeness of A Secret Infatuation.

Eugenie Spencer (tall, dark-haired, gorgeous and 25) is a very competent theatre staff nurse not busily handing eminent surgeons their sharps or tamping down the rising bile brought on by seeing blood and guts arrayed before her.
Instead, she is home in Dartmoor with her father (who is recovering from a heart attack), her mother (who will never recover from being adorable every chance she gets) and the Reverend Mr. Joshua Watts (her father's locum living nearby and suffering from the flu and a belief that Eugenie is not way, way out of his league).
On her way home from a mission of mercy in the thick moor fog, Eugenie stumbles across a great, socking Bentley sitting idle in the road. Within is Professor Aserik Rijnma ter Salis but all Eugenie really hears is, "Blah Blah ter Blah...Dutch." He's charmingly helpless and admits it so she scoots across his lap and dumps herself in the passenger seat to navigate him through the fog.
He is invited to spend the evening at the Rectory and as he leaves the next morning, Eugenie waves him off, returns indoors and tells her mother, "I should like to marry him. Don't laugh."
But she doesn't see him for weeks. Father continues to recover, she fields proposals from Joshua Watts without laughing outright, and soon enough returns to work out her notice in the London hospital from whence she came.
As she waltzes through the swing doors of the operating theatre (Or should I say the Swing Doors of Destiny?), he (Blah Blah ter Blah) is the first man she sees. His reaction, she could swear, was initially pleasure but drifts into coolness. Oh well. At least now she knows his last name and what he does for a living and that he'll be there...manipulating the innards of unconscious cardiac patients...right in front of her! Sigh.
He drives her home on her days off. Not because he's in love with her or anything...(De-nial.)
She does not waste her time being missish.
Her: Are you married?
Him: No.
Her: But a hot RDD like you must be...(gulp) engaged.
Him: Yes.
Her: #$%$#
She is devastated. She isn't about to steal him from the gal that got him first--she's much too nice for that. But she can forget him now...now...er...now. (It doesn't work very well.)
Mother, wife of a rector though she is, has fewer scruples. As Eugenie leaves again for London, Mom helpfully shouts, "Shall I give Joshua your love?"
Eugenie is much too honest to capitalize on all that helpfulness, so when Blah Rijnma ter Salis probes about the reverend (he can't help being interested) he is told in no uncertain terms that Joshua is less than nothing to her. But like a drooling baby with a cellphone, Blah can't let Joshua go and speaks unwisely. "That is his loss. You are just right for a parson's wife, bossy and outspoken and managing and capable." Eugenie, showing the Christian charity which ought to be the most important feature of a clergyman's bride, lets the insult to herself and, tangentially, to her charming mother, slide off her back. "Let's talk about the weather." Eugenie: 1 Blah: 0
Despite their verbal sparring (No. Really because of their verbal sparring....) Blah invites Eugenie to be his temporary theatre nurse in Groningen. A quick consultation with her parents and another proposal from Mr. Watts (Mother: "Why is it that the wrong people like you?") makes up her mind. She'll go to Holland, spend some lovely weeks working with the love of her life, remain professional and helpful and return a broken-hearted shell of her former self. That's the plan.
The first person she sees in Holland is Blah. The second person is Saphira...his fiancee'--Her English was almost perfect. It would be. As rotten as it is to meet the woman, at least now she knows that Blah's Christian name is Aderik. Finally!
When Eugenie does see Aderik (I miss typing Blah.) again socially, it is because Saphira told him to ask her to tea. Ugh. Condescension. He is not so dispassionate the next time, however, when he unfairly upbraids her for picking up strange men. Saphira was quite right when she suggested that I should warn you... But Eugenie isn't going to take that lying down. ...She is, I imagine, a good deal older than I am and probably knows more about being picked up than I do... Eugenie: 2 Aderik: 0 (You mess with a bull, you get the horns...)
But the apologies on both sides are as delightful as possible.
Professionally, some VIP is charming enough to get heart complications in Madeira. Eugenie isn't about to mope and be depressed just because Aderik is lost to her. He wants to go to Madeira with little notice? Score. She'd always fancied a visit to Madeira.
Madeira:
Lots of nursing. She is chatted up by a driver, a doctor and the patient and enjoys herself. She and Aderik have one day together doing tourist stuff and being together at the end of which he kisses her unhurriedly. I mean really kisses her. Mr. Rijnma ter Salis had made sure that she wasn't going to forget his.
Back in Holland, things settle down (unhappily she's not being backed into linen closets for a spot of snogging) until they day she tries to catch a bus in a thunderstorm. He pulls up in his Bentley and...oh dear. Am I the only one with the lyrics of Don't Stand So Close to Me running in her head? ("Wet bus stop. She's waiting. The car is warm and dry...") Is it hot in here?
But that interlude is interrupted by an irate Saphira--happily shouting in Dutch to save Eugenie's blushes. When Aderik meets Eugenie at the bus depot again at the end of the day, surely it's coincidence. (Yeah, I don't buy it either. How much do you think he paid his butler to run over and collect a current bus schedule? How many times did he practice saying nonchalantly, 'I was out walking...' in his bathroom mirror? How many times did he casually walk his dog past that spot until he hit pay-dirt?)
They are called away to Bosnia. (In fact, that's how I think of this book. 'Oh, the Bosnia one.'--because the title gives away nothing.)
Bosnia:
Flying into a war zone with camouflage uniforms, a blue helmet and a loosely enforced cease fire doesn't terrify her as long as Aderik is right there. And when the surgeries are over, they meet for an enchanted moment in the rubble of the hospital garden. Thank you, Eugenie...my love.
Certainly a comment like that should have been followed up with, "Love like, "I love this pudding"? Or love like, "Saphira, what Saphira?" But she is shy.
Back in Holland once more, Saphira is whiny and demanding. She just needs the slightest push and an American millionaire on the horizon and all will be well. Aderik, meanwhile, has abandoned any pretense to himself that he is doing anything other than chasing after Eugenie. He runs her to ground at a museum on her day off, whisks her off to the country for the day and then hectors her into coming in for tea.
Her: This is a silly conversation to have in the middle of the pavement.
Him: Indeed, yes. Let us go indoors before I do something even sillier...
But Saphira is inside his house (does his manservant not have a peephole and a dead bolt?) so we never get to see him get sillier (Drat!) and she's so awful that she deserves to have her hand painfully gripped by Eugenie when they bid each other good day.
Saphira pays her back by setting the date with Aderik...at least, that's what Iago...er...Saphira tells our strapping heroine. Oh, and that day out was only to make me jealous, the little cat simpers.
Eugenie leaves Holland and Aderik with a Don't you 'Eugenie' me. Tear it up, girlfriend.
Torquay:
What? How did we end up in Torquay? Upon her return to England a friend of a friend offers her a job as his nurse. Pretend that Aderik is Kevin Bacon... (see right). Yes, he knew the friend of the friend and maneuvered her into a job (without her knowledge) just so that he could keep an eye on her!
She doesn't love her job and when Aderik comes to see her she is starchy--more so after he tells her that he got her the job. But he has to tell her the truth. No hidden agendas here. When she's still prickly (but delightfully so) he responds cheekily, Enjoy your sausages!...and while you eat them reflect upon the fact that I am not the reverend Mr. Watts, to be rolled up and dismissed with ladylike venom.
Home for the weekend she gets yet another proposal from the persistent Mr. Watts.
And back to Torquay again.
And then Aderik drives her home again. Hey, Saphira is no more...The next morning she finds him waiting for her on an upturned bucket at 6am which is as nice a place for proposals as I can think of.
The End


Rating: Oh my heck, this is great. I stayed up until almost 1am to finish this book--partly to get it out of the way and partly because I kept laughing out loud. The verbal sparring was just so fantastic and sharp that I can't believe The Great Betty was 84 when she published this. Eugenie is darling and alarmingly frank, Aderik is in a coil but not for long, her mother practically steals the show every time she makes a peep. I could have lived without the detour through Torquay (though the sparring there is awesome too) because, plot-wise it seems like a stretch. And I don't like how Eugenia says 'your Saphira' all the time (though I get the point of that--she underlining the fact that as the women aren't friends she can't say just plain 'Saphira' and she is Aderik's responsibility after all). But otherwise I have so little to complain about that it seems picky. Queen of Blinking Puddings!

Food: Croquettes and salad, uitsmijters, tomato and onion soup, filete de espada, maracuja, bolos de mel. She drinks her first beer and he drinks lemon squash with a pained expression. We also get a revolting dinner of sausages, spinach, potatoes with prune and custard. Ick.

Fashion: Wellies and tweeds belong to Dartmoor. Holland gets a jersey dress, a chocolate chiffon pleated skirt, hyacinth blue swimsuit and wispy undies. Madeira has cotton dresses, a chambray dress in nutmeg brown and a straw hat. Bosnia is camouflage and a blue helmet.