Never While the Grass Grows - 1978

Last week I got to review The Vicar's Daughter, which I love, love, love. I mentioned that it would be a Top Ten favorite of mine...I'm not as fond of Never While the Grass Grows, but I would put it somewhere in my Top 40 - which means it's better than average, but not absolutely great.

Octavia Lock is a tall girl with a splendid figure. She is described as having "a happy temper"...which description in Neeldom is often followed by outbursts of peevishness and ill nature, but in this case, we get to see quite a bit of evidence that she actually is happy-tempered. She's also beautiful, which, along with her happy nature, leads her to be popular with the housemen at St. Maud's, but even at the ripe old age of 27, she's still heartwhole.

Act I

Wherein Things are Tough in London for the Elderly and Unemployed.

An elderly unemployed handyman is brought into Casualty - dirty, half-starved and suffering from pneumonia and some ennui. "What's the use of me getting better? I've nowhere to go and who'd want the likes of me?" Octavia gets him admitted and promises to visit him.
A tall man with with broad shoulders and a giant's stride comes into Cas carrying an old woman who was mugged. Tall Man is rather overbearing in his demands...which does rub Octavia the wrong way, but only until she sees his bloody knuckles and cut hand. "Oh, you're hurt! I hope you knocked them down and jumped on them!" (After Tall Man knocks a person down, jumping on them Is Not Necessary). The old lady is tended to and warded, after expressing an eerily similar ennui as the unemployed handyman, and Octavia goes about her business - only to find that Tall Man has been forgotten and neglected in a cubicle - and still needs his ATS shot.
They discuss the two old people who deserve happiness - she's concerned about their fate.
Goes home to visit her father...who is an absentminded Professor of Physics. He loves his daughter in a vague sort of way.
Back at the hospital she visits the elderly patients, Charlie and Mrs. Stubbs, who both seem to have acquired a mysterious benefactor. They both have somewhere to go when they're released from hospital. Hmmm.
A nurse who was going to quit to work on a cruise ship comes down with a dicky appendix..necessitating a replacement. Octavia is nominated and accepts (she is after all, 27 years old and in imminent danger of falling into a rut). This leads to my favorite section of the book.

Act II
A Mediterranean Cruise on the S.S. Socrates.

Cast:
Senior Ship's Nurse Joan Wise - a snotty bleached blonde who is all of 35. Plans duty hours using an 'airy-fairy' rotation schedule.
Junior Ship's Nurse Mary Silver - helpful 22 year-old - dresses rather sloppily in her off hours, spends every spare moment she can with JSD Colin White.
Temporary Ship's Nurse Octavia Lock - comes between SSN Joan Wise and JSN Mary Silver as far as seniority.
Junior Ship's Doctor Colin White - young doctor who has a thing for Junior Ship's Nurse Mary Silver.
Senior Ship's Doctor (filling in for Doctor Blamey) Professor Lucas van der Weijnen - who we've already met...that's right he's 'The Tall Man'.
Settings:
Nurses Quarters - all three nurses share a cabin.
Ship's Hospital - includes a small operating theatre complete with anaesthetic room and scrub room, a four-bed ward and a larger ward, a nice duty room...not to mention an elegantly fitted doctor's surgery.
After getting the grand tour, JSN Mary White whispers "Here's the boss." Octavia turns around and sees that it's The Tall Man - and he's looking a bit annoyed about something - and frowns fiercely at Octavia...who ignores the frown and gives him a cheerful 'hello, fancy meeting you here.' Enter SSN Joan Wise - let the games begin! Joan tries to dazzle with brilliant smiles and fluttering eyelashes and airy-fairy off duty schedules...which involves having Octavia fill in for her whenever she thinks she can get away with it.
Mr. Love comes into the surgery for his sunburn. I don't think he could have been feeling much pain - he's so tipsy, it's a wonder he was able to find the surgery. Mr. Love makes some moves on Octavia...it's the 'arm around the waist' grope. The second time he tries it, Doctor van der Weijnen gives him a cease and desist order. Then Mr. Love is instructed to remove his shirt, the doctor tut-tuts gently, gives him a warning about unwisely exposing his flesh to harmful UV rays..and then has Octavia apply 'a soothing ointment'. Mr. Love isn't done yet - he makes some remarks that imply Octavia and the doctor are 'a pair'. He digs himself into a hole with: "...we all fancy a pretty girl...I'll bet she knows which side her bread is buttered...you must have plenty of opportunity, the pair of you." Yikes! It's a good thing he's a patient - he gets off with a stern reprimand and a demand that he apologize to the pretty nurse.
Being on call is no joking matter. Sometime in the wee hours of the morning Octavia gets called in for an emergency. There's an ectopic down in cabin 336! Surgery is performed ably and efficiently by the Professor with the assistance of Dr. White, Nurse Octavia and two orderlies. **SPOILER ALERT** (I know, I know, we totally give away plots all the time - but I'm giving away the ending...so read on at your own peril!!) This scene (ectopic surgery) is the one that Lucas later says is where he fell in love with Octavia - let it colour your perception of their future relations or not - it's up to you.
SSN Joan Wise shows her true colours - and her airy-fairy scheduling. Port day in Palermo, Sicily and Joan says Octavia has to work, despite getting up in the wee hours for the ectopic. "Foul!" cries JSN Mary Silver. "No biggie," says Octavia, who then goes to bed for the few hours she has before her shift. Mary wakes her up at 1pm ...in time for a nice surprise.
Five hours of shore leave are wangled out of SSN Joan Wise by SSD Professor Lucas van der Weijnen (who knows what devious tactics he used?)...five hours to sample to delights of Sicily. Lucas is waiting on the gangplank and he has plans. Not only does he have plans, he also has a small Fiat that is reputed to "go like a bomb." Sight-seeing is engaged in, but more importantly, so is conversation. Confidences are shared:
*SSD Professor "Call me Lucas" van der Weijnen: he's nearing 40, a widower and has a nine year-old daughter named Berendina.
*Octavia got her name partly from being born in the month of August and partly because her parents had been married long enough to have had seven kids before her. Editor's Note: I'm so relieved that Betty had a reason to give her such a clunky name, because frankly, Octavia Lock sounds like a character from Spiderman II (Doc Ock).
The next shore leave is even shorter. Two hours to visit the wonders of Greece. Call Me Lucas has managed to procure a battered Citröen. Two hours is barely enough time to get through Athens to the Acropolis and climb up to the Parthenon and back...but they manage, thanks to Octavia's flat shoes and Call Me Lucas' helping hands.
Octavia doesn't get shore leave at Rhodes or Alexandria, but she does go dancing with Lucas for an hour or so one evening where they manage to waltz, foxtrot, tango AND do the bossa-nova. A brief stroll on deck, then a kiss goodnight and a promise of shore leave in Malta.
Octavia gets the whole day to visit Malta...but she hasn't heard any more about it from Lucas for a day or two, so off she goes, alone. She should have known better. Lucas is waiting on shore with a rented Austin this time.
Back to Southampton and it's time to pack up and go home. Lucas offers Octavia a ride home and a proposal of marriage. You heard me. Lucas pops the question. Which surprises our girl. As well it should. Lucas has really thought this through and tells her that he thinks they should suit each other, in a marriage of convenience kind of way. She fulfils all his requirements...which sounds like she would be answering a want ad - "If you like pina coladas...and gettin' caught in the rain

..." Lucas wants her to think about it before answering, but girlfriend has got an answer right now, and that answer is no. N. O. Uh-uh. Nope. No sirree Bob. It's not that she's seeing anyone, it's that she needs to consider her aged parent. She can't just go away and leave him. That's okay, he still wants to drive her home. In his great socking Rolls.

Act III
Wherein Octavia Loses Someone Near and Dear

What is it with Neels and parents? Within seconds after Octavia gets home her father up and dies in her arms. Nice of him to wait for her, I'm sure. Lucas takes over, deals with all the arrangements, both for the funeral AND for a wedding. What? Girlfriend already said no!
Her: What time do you go tomorrow?
Him: I'm staying until after the funeral and then we can get married the following day.
Her: I never said yes!
Him: It's the sensible thing to do, besides, I think your father would have liked us to get married and my daughter was just saying she would like a mum - all the other kids have one.

Yes, Lucas is steamrolling her into the marriage, taking advantage of her grief, being high-handed...call it what you will, he's determined not to lose the woman he loves!

They get married and take the ferry to Holland.

Act IV
Mevrouw van der Weijnen in Holland

Octavia is a wee bit dismayed to find out that Lucas has such a fancy house. Lucky for her, she already knows two of the servants. Turns out Lucas was the mysterious benefactor of both Charlie and Mrs. Stubbs (see Act I). Berendina is a typical Neels nine-year old. She loves that she has a young, pretty mother (they will, like, totally bond over shopping). Berendina would like Octavia to have some babies. Oh, and why doesn't Octavia share a bedroom with daddy?

The remainder of the sojourn in Holland is mostly by-the-book Neels. Playboy Cousin Marcus chats up Octavia and muddies the waters. Mrs. Stubbs has an attack of appendicitis followed immediately by Octavia's Dawning Realization that she loves Lucas. Marcus takes himself off - he can see that Lucas is in love, he's really not such a bad guy.

Octavia drives Berendina to a birthday party. Lucas is concerned with driving conditions, and requests that Octavia leave early. Unfortunately, Marcus shows up at the party and distracts Octavia for about 45 minutes. He's in love with a young lady who won't consider him unless he settles down and gets a job. Because of the lateness of the hour, the roads are not completely safe - freezing rain and fog. Octavia avoids rear-ending the car in front of her, but is catapulted into by the car behind. Lucas shows up to save the day...but he's furious. Things seem to be going from bad to worse with Octavia and Lucas...

Octavia's finally had it. She corners Lucas as they are waiting for the Burgermeester and his wife to come over for dinner.
Her: "Blow the Burgermeester, and his lady! I've got something I must tell you!!!"(thank you Betty!)
Him (his face very white): Whatever is so important - whom does it concern?
Her: Marcus - and me, of course. Now that I've screwed up my courage, you're going to darn well listen!
Him: I'm not surprised about you and Marcus - he's your age and fun...
Her: He wants to marry Iona Hendriks...
Him: ummm....
Her: Shut up and listen! It's about me now. I'm leaving - I love you too much to stay.
Him: I've always loved you, I've known since the night of the ectopic. The whole thing with Marcus messed me up...
Kisses galore, then more kissing - the kissing doesn't stop until the Burgermeester and his lady show up.
The end.

Rating: I absolutely adore Act II. If the rest of the book lived up to it, I'd give it a lashings of whipped cream. Unfortunately the story bogs down to mediocrity for most of Act IV...right up until the delightful end - which is way too short. I think I'll have to average it out to somewhere between treacle tart and boeuf en croute.

Fashion: Pale Liberty print shirtwaister (no particular colour is mentioned), beautifully knitted blue cardigan for dad's housekeeper, coffee coloured outfit, grey flannel suit with her best brown calf shoes and a pretty little hat in stitched silk (wedding outfit), pink organza gown.

Food: timpana (a pie of macaroni and minced meat - I might give this one a whirl), saltimbocca, eclairs, and a meal made by our girl consisting of oversalted vegetables, horribly underdone meat and burnt custard, which the doctor manfully gets through.