Question of the Week

John Simon Ritchie...aka, Sid Vicious

The device that starts the ball rolling in Heaven is Gentle is a discussion of names. 'They sound like a line of chorus girls...How do you like the idea of being nursed by a Shirley Anne, or an Angela, or--what was that last one, Miss Trim? A Felicity?" Annette, Marilyn and Heather also come in for criticism.

My given name is Keira. Middle name is Meissa (like May-essa). My last name was Hanna. "It was the 70s," I tell people. "That's why I sound like Tatiana Queen of the Blinking Fairies."

So I looked up the names of some famous stars and I give you the names they were...ahem...blessed with at birth:

Woody Allen...Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Lauren Bacall...Betty Joan Perske (Betty!)
Desi Arnaz...Desiderio Albert Arnaz y De Acha III
Yul Brynner...Taidje Khan (Love it either way...)
Michael Caine...Maurice Joseph Micklewhite
Errol Flynn...Leslie Thomson Flynn
Judy Garland...Frances Gumm
Jean Harlow...Harlean Carpenter
Goldie Hawn...Goldie Jean Studlendgehawn (This is entirely defensible.)
Engelbert Humperdinck...Arnold George Dorsey
Liberace...Wladziu Lee Valentino (He was born with Valentino and he dropped it??)
Veronica Lake...Constance Ockleman
Ralph Lauren...Ralph Lipschitz (Kudos for keeping the potentially objectionable Ralph.)
Vivien Leigh...Vivian Mary Hartley
Sophia Loren...Sophia Scicoloni
Walter Matthau...Walter Matuschanskayasky (It doesn't exactly roll off the tongue.)
Gregory Peck...Eldred Gregory Peck (Maybe he spoke Elvish?)
Ginger Rogers...Virginia Katherine McMath
Antonio Banderas...Jose Antonio Dominguez Bandera

All this makes me think that celebrity marriage fights devolve into pointing out each other's plastic surgery marks and calling each other 'Ethel' and 'Eldred'...

My question is if you were able to rename yourself, what would you choose?

*I know that some of our Bettys are authors and I suppose this goes for pen names as well...