Saturday, August 6, 2016

My Lady's Companion Quit

I had hired a lady's companion and didn't even know it. I have an internet home--we all kind of do. We bookmark a site or type out the beginnings of a URL out of sheer muscle memory and we check it daily, twice-daily, thrice-daily. Well, I have one and a large part of my enjoyment in it was a post put up every night by one of the bloggers. On it's face it was just a collection of links and a little commentary. You might even be able to say it was simple news aggregation.

But as I read it almost every night right before bedtime for years, I began to see that it was an art not unlike that found in The Canon by lady's companions--the ones who clip articles for peppery old ladies to read aloud. Those poor Aramintas seem to know by instinct how to mix reports of a prime minister's speech with an amusing clipping about a dog while lightly touching on new scientific breakthroughs and a society wedding. It's a talent, really.

Each evening as I was winding down I would get a selection like:

NASA turns urine into sports drink

The most awesome knot on the planet

The intelligence test Thomas Edison gave to potential employees

Elevator Weatherman Prank:

Coal Loses It's Grip in West Virginia

7 Foods that Have Led to War

And a host of heavier fare that would violate my long-held wish to paddle away from the Rocky Shoals of Political Discord.

Now after 8 years my lady's companion has retired (maybe she was snapped up by an RDD) and I have to go hunting up another one. And good ones are so hard to come by these days...


  1. Well, at least you have had the pleasure of having her work for you for eight years. No Araminta ever lasted that long in her position as a companion.

    Good companions are hard to come by. I hope you will be lucky in your search for a replacement.

    In the Canon, the RDDs/RBDs have been known to produce the perfect candidate for the position. A retired nurse, a relative...

    I don't suppose Mijnheer van Vorhees will know of someone? ;o)

  2. The elevator weather man reminds me of this elevator video I had bookmarked, until a few days ago: Someday by Glass Tiger

  3. On a scale from 1 to 10, how did Thomas Edison's 146 questions help you wind down?

    1. A 1 if I felt like I had to pass it to get a job! haha.