Monday, October 7, 2013

Once For All Time--Reprise

Dear Bettys,
I have some not altogether good news.  The Founding Bettys have been feeling for a long time that the time has come to put a period on the end of The Uncrushable Jersey Dress.  
The blog was started a year into my parenting of my fourth pledge, The Demon Baby of Bethany, and came along at just the right time.  As I weathered those first years of ear infections, croup, angry teething and general ill humor (he's a delight now, Bettys--mostly), the structure of having to read a book each week, write about it intelligently, produce doctored pictures, churn out other content and so on, was a balm to my frayed nerves and an opportunity to stretch myself creatively.
Needing to hop on the phone so often with my sister, Betty Debbie, was another dividend.  As we worked on this all-consuming project together (please allow me this amount of sentiment) our hearts were knit together.  It is no accident that my fifth pledge and her share middle names. 
And The Great Betty?  How I have come to love her!  What an amazing woman with such an interesting life story.  What nerve to reinvent oneself as an author so late in the game.
Our supporters have been numerous.  First it was just our husbands who were enormously encouraging about something that lesser men might have seen as just a time suck.  Valiantly toting paperbacks on vacations, propping them up for our Betty in the Wild photos...Being slightly ignored if it was Wednesday night and we had a huge deadline to meet the next morning...Having passages read aloud to them...They were the best of men through it.  
And you readers.  Sister Bettys.  We did not expect your awesomeness.  Betty Magdalen will always hold a special place in the history of TUJD as our very first and most enthusiastic supporter.  Spats over heroes and heroines and turbans and whole novels (I'm looking at you, Betty JoDee.) have been enormously fun.  Betty Debbie and I feel as though we've found real friends here.  That you meet in small groups all over the country for tea and Betty is lashings of whipped cream. 
So, what does this all mean?
It means that we will finish our reprise posts (fewer than 10 left) and then we'll write a final post and then we won't produce new posts. It means that Betty Debbie will still check her blog email and the comments sections will still be open and lively (we hope).  It also means that when I want to talk Betty, I'll be taking that to the The Uncrushable Jersey Dress Facebook page.  (You are more than welcome to join me there.)
We love you, Bettys!
Love and lardy cakes,
Betty Keira (who is now donning her kevlar jacket and jumping behind barricades)

The title of this week's pick is less than memorable. A lot less. There are a few things about Once For All Time that stand out. A very few. The most memorable bit for me is when the hero goes to France to pick up a couple of dead relatives for the heroine. Scenes like those tend to stand out.

Clotilde Collins + Bruce Johnson = an engaged couple who are not destined to make it. Why? Let me count the ways...
  1. Clotilda is a long tall glass of inch taller than Bruce.  Not. Good.
  2. Bruce is 'money hungry'. Clotilde's dad has promised to help Bruce buy himself a practice when the two get married.
  3. Bruce is...well...not cool.
  4. Did I mention that Clotilde is way too hot for a guy named Bruce?
It isn't that Clotilde is too tall,
it's that Bruce is too short. 
There's one more reason for those crazy kids not to make it,  unfortunately:
  1. Clotilde is either blind as a bat OR
  2. Dr. James-I'm Half Dutch-Thackery is shy to the point of being tongue-tied?
Yes,  there's a hot R1/2DD in the offing. Clotilde and Dr. Thackery have been working together for three years.  THREE YEARS.
Twice a week x 52 x three years = 312 cups of coffee (and biscuits) = 0.  All those ward rounds and cups of coffee have led to, well, nothing.

Meanwhile, Clotilde's parents have been on vacation in Switzerland...unfortunately, on the way home, they both come down with a serious case of Death By Car Crash in France.

Dr. T has plenty of time for jibba jabba...
with Clotilde.

Poor's a good thing she has Bruce for help and comfort...oh wait, no she doesn't. He can't be bothered...he's too busy. Dr. T comes through like a champ and even goes to France to pick up the bodies. He's here, there and everywhere. Helping with the arrangements, driving Clotilde back and forth, taking her out for meals, going to the funeral. When he's not there, he's sending messages via Bruce to Clotilde. Bruce, being Bruce, isn't bothering at all with visiting or relaying messages - after all, there's no bottom line, financially speaking.  Especially after the terms of the will are disclosed. In the grand tradition of Neels Estate Planning, Mummy and Daddy Collins have died insolvent.

Bruce dumps Clotilde.  Like we didn't see that one coming. Dr. T is there to pick up the pieces...again,

What follows is a lovely look at James wooing the clueless Clotilde.  She needs broad shoulders to cry on? Check. She needs someone to secretly buy the family home? Check. She needs a night out dining and dancing? Check. He's there through thick and thin.

James introduces Clotilde to his younger sister Katrina.  Katrina is a handy sibling to have around - not only does she go shopping with Clotilde (instant bonding over retail therapy), she can be relied upon to invite Clotilde to visit Holland for a few days before Christmas - James can bring her over when he comes.  A trip for two to Holland? It's time for a little kissing!

Sadly, Dr. Mary Evans would never
be a real contender for the title of
Miss Wales.
Meet the Grandparents! Grandma likes Clotilde, but she unintentionally murks up the waters a bit by telling Clotilde that I'm glad James has decided to marry at last. Which is a surprise...but doesn't fill Clotilde with dismay. A day or two later Katrina mentions that James has fallen for someone at St. Alma's.  Again, no dismay...until Clotilde starts wondering if it might be Dr. Mary Evans, the little Welsh tartlet...she of the padded bra and permed hair. What a tearing shame! Ah, our girl is concerned for James.  That's a start.

Back at St. Alma's, Dr. Evans is quick to imply a deeper  relationship with James than is strictly justified. If there happens to be a birthday party for one of the other doctors, Dr. Evans implies that she and James will be meeting for drinks together.  Clotilde is not alone in disliking Dr. Evans.  One of the other nurses goes so far as to call her a very unflattering name.

Clotilde has really been enjoying having James around - so when he's gone for a week or two her spirits lag - but she really doesn't feel she can ask around to find out where he is or how long he'll be gone (hospital gossip being what it is and all)...When James walks into her office unannounced it's suddenly rainbows and unicorns and fluffy bunnies. Dang, she's in love. And now Clotilde is wondering who the mystery woman is. The mystery woman that James plans to marry. Is it Dr. Mary Evans??? You can bet next month's mortgage payment Clotilde is going to keep an eye on the little harpy.

All this new found love and angstiness does give Clotilde the push she needs to make a change. Time to put in her notice at work.  She just knows that she won't be able to work around James and...[insert name - possibly Mary Evans]...
A sweet good-bye...or is that hello?

Christmas...James has no gift for her this year - because he can't give her her what he'd like.  What would he like to give her? Hmm. I'm guessing an engagement ring, the deed to her old home and a great big sloppy one...but the time is not quite right. Well, it's not right for the first two, but he does manage to give a pretty good 'farewell salute' to Sister Clotilde Collins. 

Soon after, James  is ready to clear some things up - and perhaps propose?
  1. Mary Evans? There is not now, nor has there ever been anything between the two of us.
  2. Your house? I hold the deed.
  3. My darling.....
RING! Yes, it's a hospital emergency - which serves no discernible purpose besides bumping up the page count. A wedding party with food poisoning. Just go with it.

Proposal Part II:
  1. (Stroking her wrist with his thumb) Now where were we?
  2. Oh yes, you finally fell in love with me...I was afraid I was to be cast in the role of  'good friend' forever.
  3. I've loved you for a long time - since before you and Bruce became an item.
  4. Kiss....
RING! Interrupted again!

Proposal Part III:
  1. Drive down to his folks home in Dorset.
  2. Find a quiet place in the garden with NO PHONE.
  3. Will you marry me? We'll live in London and go down to your old family home on the weekends with the kids and....
  4. Whoa, cowboy! I haven't said yes and we're already talking kids?
  5. Marry me?
  6. There's nothing in the world I'd rather do.
  7. We need to make up for those three wasted years....
The end.

(slightly gratuitous Richard Armitage,
as if there could be such a thing...)

Rating: I love how James is able to make Clotilde smile, giggle and laugh. I like the way we get to watch the natural progression of Clotilde's regard for James...respect, friendship, liking THEN love. My biggest gripe is that I'm not fond of the "I fell in love with you before you started dating your fiancee, but didn't say anything until after he dumped you three years later" plot device.  I wouldn't mind it so much if the Great Betty ever let him give us his reason for waiting. This is not the only book in the canon with this plot device (see Heidelberg Wedding or Fate is Remarkable).  In the end, Once For All Time is pretty solid. I appreciated the break from the long string of MOC's that I've been reading. While never quite reaching it's full potential, I found it a nice little comfort read. What to rate it? I'll give it a boeuf en croute (which seems to be my fall-back rating) - partly on the budding romance, and partly on the strength of Mary Evan's padded bra.
Food: chicken in a basket, vol-au-vent financiere, tournedos, Saute Massena, sherry trifle, smoked eel, roast pheasant with vegetables, with a gigantic and very ornate ice cream for dessert. Globe artichokes in a piquant sauce, lobster Newburg, mushrooms with chopped truffles, Waldorf salad, Ananas Fiona, angels on horseback.
Fashion: Long silver-grey jersey with sequins on the jacket, wool dress and fur jacket, brown and coral patterned silk jersey. Dress for the hospital ball: pale grey silk dusted with silvery stars. Mary Evans wears a green dress with a lot of sequins, far too skimpy and low necked.


  1. Okay, I can get behind the Facebook page. (Hey, I have one. It happens.) I'm sad, but I also can see that you might just be tired of carrying the Betty Flag for so long. But still...sad face.

  2. Stuck here just because. Everyone who loves The Netherlands should go check out the Fuggirls' commentary on the latest royal wedding to take place in The Netherlands. (One of the queen's grandsons, I believe.) You have to click on all the photos in the gallery to read all the Dutch royal family. Oh, and very very cute kids!

    1. Betty Magdalen, thanks for mentioning the FugGirls‘ commentary. I think the great Betty would have approved of Máxima’s outfit.

      grey dress
      hat ✔
      gloves ✔ One on, one off, which may have been because she was shaking hands before.
      shoes to match ✔

      Take a look at those shoes! Those lethal looking heels. It’s a good thing Willem-Alexander is so tall so Máxima can wear very high heels.

  3. Betty Barbara here--
    Well, now I has a case of the sads!! And I was getting ready to do a "Life After Betty" or maybe a Betty in the Wild. Oh well, I still have a bit of time.
    Alas, I Facebook not--just call me Geezer.

    1. Dear Betty Barbara,
      Fret not, I will still be checking emails and comments and will gladly post your Life After Betty whenever you chose to send it.

  4. This post made my stomach hurt.

    B von S

  5. I feel a bit like I've lost my best friend. :( I refuse to do facebook for a myriad of reasons.

    Betty AnoninTX

    1. I do appreciate all your hard work. Thank you for posting my Betty in the National Park ramblings. I have loved reading the reviews and making Betty friends.

      Betty AnoninTX

    2. Dear Betty AnoninTX - while we are not planning more reviews, we are not abandoning you completely. We will keep tabs on comments and emails, and if anyone else would like to post something - even if it's just some discussion questions, I would be happy to post them.

  6. My deepest and most heartfelt thanks to the Fabulous Founding Bettys! You have touched more lives than you can possibly imagine.

    Although I won't be able to finish the canon before the new posts end (despite the forced furlough vacation), it's good to know I can still look up the reviews and comment on Facebook.

    Betty Keira, I'd be more than happy to build you a defensive perimeter, just say the word. Haven't gotten to play with claymores in a long time......

  7. I has a sad, too. :( I Facebook muchly, but it's not the same ... on the other hand, it'll be nice to have a discussion area. (And since Betty Keira has kindly admitted me to the tea room known as the Facebook page, let me say thanks). And thank you for being here after I discovered these (mostly) wonderful books ... it means a lot.

  8. Sniff, sniff This is so sad. And no RDD/RBD to offer me his beautifully laundered handkerchief. Sniff, sniff Thank you for creating this blog which was not only great fun but highly educational as well. Sniff, sniff

  9. May I say that while this makes my very sad, I also understand. I have never laughed so hard as I did with the review where mum or aunt splutters about our heroine being seen our RDD observes "she is more than adequately covered." There was so much more to that, but the name eludes me.
    I'm a Facebook fanatic, so I will see you over there! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for bring making Betty more poignant, more humorous, more educational and more real than I could ever imagine.


  10. My stomach is still hurting.

    B von S

  11. I understand where you Founding Bettys are at, but I'll miss the weekly posts. They're always a bright spot at the beginning of my weeks.

    And I'm the doofus sitting here thinking, "There's an Uncrushable Facebook page?"

    1. Ditto, I'm in the doofus camp as well. Just joined the group now.....duh.

  12. Sighz... Sadly I discovered this wonderful blog much too late... "A big Thank You" to the Founding Bettys for creating TUJD and all those entertaining book reviews which I'm still in the process of reading. I will definitely keep visiting this blog for the reviews as well as the informative comments from the other Bettys as I've learned a lot from them. Wish the Founding Bettys all the best for whichever new project you come up with after this!

  13. Dear Founding Bettys - It is with a heavy heart that I write these words but I certainly do understand where you're coming from. Thank you for all the time and effort you have put into this blog - I've enjoyed every word of it.

    I will see you on FaceBook and will certainly come back here periodically when I need a "Betty Boost."

    Thank you again and all the best to you!
    Betty Daphne

  14. Betty Debbie, I see you. You too, Betty Scott.
    I don't like facebook. sniff

  15. Thank you for all the hard work. I also understand. I did not know about the Facebook page. I have sent my request.

    1. Nameless / Anonymous here, yet you are on Facebook.


      Might I most humbly request an explanation.

      Betty At Present Slightly Crushed Anonymous

    2. I could never figure out how not to be Anonymous on here. I am not very good with the blogging pages. Look on FB for a request from someone named Mag who uses a Sicilian windmill as her photo.

    3. Thank you for the explanation, Mag. Sadly, I cannot bring myself to join facebook. Spies everywhere. No privacy whatsoever. If I had an "ordinary" name, shared by many others, I might be persuaded to try and overcome my aversion to the concept of being spied out continually. I have nothing to hide, after all. But my full name is, er, well, possibly unique in it's composition.

      You don't know how not to be Anonymous on here. Well, there are different ways. Obviously, you have seen the choices given when you comment or reply, you know Comment as/Reply as and then you have to select a profile: Google Account, Livejournal, Wordpress, Typepad, AIM, Open ID, Name/URL, Anonymous. You need to have an account with the first six if you want to "comment as" one of those...

      Hey! Wait a minute! – Sicilian windmill. That triggers a memory. Would this happen to be your Sicilian windmill? And did you buy some really nice embroidered handkerchiefs in Spain? (Cool! Just like a Betty heroine.)

      Well, you can always comment as Anonymous and sign your name at the bottom, so we will know it is you. As I did in my reply above. As Betty von Susie always does when she comments. (Oh, oh, I had better be quick before she gets a chance to tell me that she never signs your name at the bottom of her comments. I had better clarify:

      I sign my name
      you sign your name
      she signs her name
      excerpt from "Grammar with Betty A.", © 1979

    4. And that should have been "in its composition".
      De Rode Pen van Betty A.

  16. I found your blog a few weeks ago, but found the great Betty about fifteen years ago and have managed to collect all her books. Your blog is wonderful and I appreciate the amount of work you put into it..your archive of reviews will be on my favorites list.

  17. Ah, Bettys, I cannot quite articulate my feelings over this. I guess I knew the time would come, but I'm at an age when I often contemplate the passage of time and a wistful turning back of the clock. When the blog was originally published I tried frantically to keep up with the weekly reading so that I could get full enjoyment each week from the postings and comments but couldn't always do it. I still avoid reading a review of a book that I have yet to read (yes, there are still a few...) so I can enjoy the blog anew as I read the last of The Canon reviews.

    I will admit that, even after thirty years of writing professionally as a scholar of no renown at all, the witty writing style employed by TUJD has been quite contagious and found its way into editorial comments on academic journal pieces, proper historical monographs, and most frequently into e-mail communications with teachers (they would be eternally grateful to the Founding Bettys if they only knew). The side-splitting graphics also illustrate (okay, the pun I won't blame on TUJD) to me as well as the hilarious text the remarkable intelligence and literary genius amongst folks who are not famous or powerful in a traditional sense. My all-time favorite graphic is the one from Henrietta's Own Castle with the stick figures. I think I actually slid out of my chair laughing at that one during my first visit to the blog. I daresay all other Bettys could share their own favorites.

    I feel like a stage in my life is coming to a close. Perhaps I can manage a bit of Facebook, but I don't like it as much. Meanwhile, I still have a Betty-on-a-Stick adventure sitting on my camera to download for a posting of Betty in the Wild.

    1. Now I feel sad again.

      End mai littel Red Penn two.