Ring in a Teacup - Reprise

The very first paragraph in Ring in a Teacup caught my eye:

"The sun, already warmer than it should have been for nine o'clock on an August morning, poured through the high, uncurtained windows of the lecture hall at St Norbert's Hospital, highlighting the rows of uniformed figures, sitting according to status, their differently coloured uniform dresses making a cheerful splash of colour against the drab paintwork, their white caps constantly bobbing to and fro as they enjoyed a good gossip before their lecture began - all but the two front rows; the night nurses sat there, silently resentful of having to attend a lecture when they should have been on their way to hot baths, unending cups of tea, yesterday's paper kindly saved by a patient, and finally, blissful bed."

First of all, did you notice that the paragraph is just one sentence?  Way to go Betty! Actually, what caught my eye was the bit about the hot August morning...which was coincidentally exactly what we've had here for the past couple of mornings.  I don't care for hot August mornings one little bit - mostly because they presage an even hotter August day.  Okay, enough whining from me - how's the weather in your neck of the woods?

I love the bit in Ring in a Teacup when Fraam introduces Lucy to his parents while she is wearing her traveling clothes. I don't remember what I was wearing when I met my future in-laws for the first time, but I do remember that our first introduction occurred when they were in bed! Well, not exactly in bed, they were sleeping in the living room on the hide-a-bed (having loaned out their bedroom to my mother-in-law's mother-in-law who was visiting).  They were rightly embarrassed and I'm sure Dr. van der Stevejinck was subjected to some hurriedly whispered "Couldn't you call first????  Give us some warning???? What were you thinking???".  I wonder if my mother-in-law still remembers our first encounter.  I bet she does.

Betty Debbie

 Two points: A) The cover doesn't match the book hardly at all. Our Lucy has really, really green eyes--not so our cover girl--and long hair. Still, don't you just love it to pieces? B) Upon her marriage, our heroine would take the name of Lucilla Linssen. I vote no.

Lucilla "Lucy" Prendergast, 23, is swimming upstream. She has four distressingly gorgeous siblings, pleasing (though not pretty) features, and blazing emerald eyes which she has just managed to prop open when the cold and disapproving stare of a hospital guest lecturer greets her. It serves him right for making the Night Duty Student Nurses attend a speech about...(rifles through notes, checks spelling)...I don't care already. A feeling I am sure is echoed in poor Lucy's modest bosom.
For his part, Fraam der Linssen, nudging forty and possessing 'the kind of good looks so often written about and so seldom seen', has strode into the lecture hall, appraised the audience and prepared himself to hold forth on a topic near and dear to his heart when he spots that most insignificant of hospital denizens (possibly ranking even lower than a good ward maid with rheumatism and a smoking habit)--a student nurse--nodding off in the center of the front row. How dare she? Wickedly, he directs a question at her...
I didn't hear what you were saying, sir--I was asleep.
To hear him tell it later, he had the most difficult time not whisking her out of her seat then and there and marrying her out of hand.
She has to apologize, naturally.
They next meet at the scene of an accident. She saves the life of a little blighter...uh, boy...who has run into traffic. Fraam (which name is difficult to murmur endearingly, I imagine) scoops her up and (after she drops off to sleep in the Casualty area) 'examines' her--finding only bruises and scrapes. If there were a sliding scale of things you don't want handsome men to see/do around you, where holding your hair while you vomit canal water onto a grassy verge is a 10 and catching you in a minor fib is a 1, then I'd rate this a solid 7.
Although it doesn't seem like he likes her very much, she thinks about him from time to time and wishes she'd been engineered better.
They meet again in Holland.
What?!
An old friend of her father, Doctor de Groot, wants her to stay with him and his only child Mies for a holiday.
(whistle, whistle, blatant plot device, whistle, whistle)
Don't you like each other? says a confused and beautiful Mies when they meet up with Fraam (an old family friend of Mies' too).
That remains to be seen. (Oh Fraam. You're at your best when you're as enigmatic as a Russian arms dealer.)
Lucy also meets Willem de Vries who I thought was destined to be a colorless, slope-shouldered suitor until I found out he had money. Then, naturally, he was better suited to be a young lovelorn fellow meant for Mies.
While Fraam moonlights as a one man chauffeur service by offering numerous women of a variety of hair hues rides in his swanky Panther de Ville, Lucy plots to bring Mies and Willem together. Maybe, she suggests, Willem could pretend to be interested in her. Waters are slightly muddied.
At the Dutch hospital ball, Lucy arrives in a horribly modest emerald number that Fraam just loves. If he could waltz her into a corner...Alas, she had told everyone that she wasn't dancing in a bid to not have Mies scrounge a date for her. Willem doesn't take no for an answer, however, and leads her onto the nearly empty dance floor...where she shakes her moneymaker in a jaw-dropping fashion. She's clearly the best dancer there.
Fraam plucks her out of a clutch of young people and claims a dance. But then he's a little insulting about it. I shall be sadly out of fashion if I can't say that I have danced at least once with you. Notice, he didn't risk asking her to dance (she might turn him down) and then he excuses his behavior as duty. Fraam is being very weenie. Forgive him though. He loves her very much and already thinks she thinks he's too old for her. He puts things to right by finding a quiet balcony and praising her dancing and her dress and laughing a little at the precarious fashions being held up by sticky tape and prayer out there on the dance floor. Detente.
The rest of Holland comprises a rescued kitten, Willem doing the psychological equivalent of taking Mies across his knee and walloping her, Fraam telling Lucy that he does his utmost not to see her and then a whopping kiss.
Sailing home with an upgraded stateroom and a massive bunch of flowers, Lucy is unaware of the palm greasing Fraam engaged in to make it so.
Fraam comes to England to give another lecture and this time Lucy takes care to sit well in the back to avoid him noticing her. Skipping down an unused corridor afterward, she is nevertheless irritated that he gives her nothing more than a frosty nod in passing. It bugs her all day and she decides to skip socializing and go to bed.
But she's pulled away by a message. There's a man down there in the waiting room. A real live man. For Lucy.
It's Fraam. Looking about him at the unwelcome surroundings he comments, 'I wonder how many young men survive a visit here? She answered him seriously. 'Well, if they're really keen, it doesn't seem to matter,' she told him, and wondered why he smiled.
And then he has time to be either a weenie again or a strategist. Mies made me promise to take you out for a meal while I was over here. Will you come now?
(Oh Fraam! You'll never defeat the Nazis if you don't charge out of the foxhole!)
At the end of a very nice night he catches her close. 'I almost forgot,' his hand came up and lifted her chin gently: 'I had to give you this from Mies.' She had never been kissed like that before.
(Chaaaaaaaarrrrrge!)
They next meet during a blizzard in her home village. Fraam just happened to be in the area...He goes out in the teeth of the storm to assist her in the at-home delivery she's had the misfortune to get roped into. Oopsie. The baby's breech. Double oopsie. The baby is twins. In a blizzard. Way out in the country.
This is one of those moments that underscores my deep and heartfelt affection for the easy charms of suburbia...
But I digress. Lucy is so glad to see Fraam. She is just a student nurse after all and another pair of hands is more than welcome. Attach those hands to the body of a hot, hot RDD and then I think we've got the makings of a triple word score.
Fraam cooks and holds the babies and shovels snow. Lucy collects the eggs and milks the goat and makes hot mash for the chickens. They wait for the sound of a helicopter or snow-plow to rescue them. It's like Little House on the Prairie meets the Rebel Alliance on the ice-planet Hoth.
And when they finally do make it back to her parent's house Lucy nods off from exhaustion. Fraam scoops her up and carries her to bed. Mrs. Prendergast tucked her in. 'The darling's absolutely out cold.' 'The darling's absolutely darling,' remarked Mr. der Linssen at his most suave. Putting aside the fact that I think 'suave' is a perfectly horrid word choice at a time like that, we've got some very telling signs.
When Lucy is shoveling snow with Fraam the next morning her dawning realization hits her over the head with a snow shovel. Eureka! I love him! What now?
Fraam asks Lucy to come to Holland to nurse Doctor de Groot who happens to need surgery for the very complaint that Fraam lectured on (and Lucy slept through). No matter. He'll fill her in.
She arrives after a long and weary day of travel dressed in the most utilitarian clothes possible when he stops at his house and invites her in to meet his family. If he'd tried that with me I'd feel legally bound to tell him that for his own safety and for the safety of others he'd better get used to wearing protective shin guards. But Lucy doesn't kick him under the table. They have a lovely dinner and she thinks how lucky some girl would be to get those in-laws.
When Lucy finally (after some very light nursing) gets another free day Fraam kisses her gently and then bundles her into a car. (THE Panther de Ville?) I'm going to marry you. You can think about it on the way to the house.
Now before we get all judge-y about his delivery I'd like to make a couple of points:

• Sure those three little words weren't said ("Account at Harrods.') but he has been kissing her pretty steadily. Oughtn't she to have known?
• As soon as he read her brainwaves and angry Japanese snowmen as a token of her undying love for him, he proposed just as soon as he could. He's been waiting to ask her for months and it's as though he's a contractor who didn't let his foundation properly cure before slapping a house on top of it. The cracks from all that unseemly haste will soon begin to show.

She accepts and very sweetly tells him she loves him (which is his cue for...?) but wants to work out her notice at the hospital--so that he can be extra sure. Mies, who heretofore had been kind of a dim-witted and fairly kind parallel character, at this point gets under my skin.
Wow. You're, like, totally engaged. You are so not his type. He's liked a ton of other girls before. Let's sit down and make a list of them. No, no, we're going to need the thick pad of paper... Alright, now first the blonds...
Mies mentions a name Lucy hadn't heard before--Adilia. (Pity that I have not the time to find a font with daggers and dripping blood because Adilia looks a little innocuous in the default blogger font.)
To her credit, Lucy asks him about it and though he is cold (Framm-speak for uncertain and worried) he answers her well enough. He even invites Adilia to lunch and tells Lucy 'Now you know what she's like' which settles it as far as he's concerned.
And then Aunt Sophie gets to Lucy at a family function. (Marvelous that you young things know how to look the other way when your husbands play the field...) Fraam manages to say that he loves Lucy (to his aunt! which is nearly unforgivable as Lucy hasn't heard the words herself yet) so feathers are smoothed.
And then Lucy sees Fraam driving Adilia in his Panther de Ville (What is he a taxi service?!) at a time when he is supposed to be 'at work'. They begin to have a tearing row but Fraam doesn't waste time being icy and aloof. 'Now, now, my love,' he said soothingly, 'what is all this?' He kissed the top of her head. 'I believe Tante Sophie's hints and spite did their work, after all.' And then he explains. The reader begins to wonder if this will be the whole of their married life--jealous rages and solicitation all the way into the grave.
So she is calmed again.
And then he says he has to go to Brussels which got my Disaster-o-meter ringing bells like crazy. Shall we recite, class, the First Commandment of Betty:
Danger lies in Belgium.
There, be pirates and death rays and all manner of villainy.
(I'm going to get a cease and desist letter from the Belgium Chamber of Commerce--you see if I don't.)
Lucy is in the front parlor of Fraam's (they're living together, didn't I say? Properly chaperoned!) when Adilia (imaging the gore and daggers) walks in. I have come to suck your blood!
No, she does something worse than suck the life out of her dooming her to an eternity of pallid skin and a monotonous diet. She uses little truths to make a gigantic lie. Fraam is in London! I vill soon be there! Ah, Ah, Ah! Let's ask Fraam's faithful butler vere he is. London! Ah, ah, ah! You can have his ugly babies and I vill have his heart!
Lucy, having the grottiest day ever, keeps it together until Adilia leaves and then, flinging her ring into a teacup, dashes upstairs for her coat and gloves. All she knows for sure is that Fraam said he was going to Brussels when he actually went to London.
She walks all day and checks into a nice hotel when she can't walk any more. But she doesn't have her purse/money/passport. Blast. And when she tries to explain to the check-in clerk that she's Doctor Linssen's fiancee and that she doesn't have it, the glorified pencil pusher's eyes dart to her ringless hand.
They ask her to wait in her room...and then lock her in. Before she has a chance to fashion a make-shift rope out of bedsheets or stage a prison riot (No justice, no peace!), Fraam walks in. His rage (which I sympathize with) evaporates when she explains. Tears and kisses. He went to London to get her released from having to work out her remaining time at the hospital so they could get married sooner. Brussels was a head-fake. (Whew.)
He'll give her a week to get her wedding dress and in the mean time that ring is to stay put.
The End


Rating: I remember liking this book but I also remember being irritated at the end. Why doesn't she trust him more? Why does she take off so fast? But upon re-reading I noticed some things that helped me like this waaaaay more. 1) Adilia called Lucy's future children plain. This is a super big deal--the bony brat found Lucy's insecurities like Luke Skywalker hunting womp rats and imploded them faster than the Death Star. 2) Though this Betty is not a fan of weekending in Brighton, she is an enormous fan of pre-marital snogging in the vicinity of Southern England. (Keep your hands to yourself!) Much of Fraam's problems would have been evaporated the second he decided to use that William and Mary settee in the front parlor for more than tea-sipping. 3) What guarantee do we have that Lucy's doubts are finally banished? On the final page Lucy flings her arms about Fraam's neck and kisses him. Heretofore, she had been cheerfully accepting his kisses but worried about invading his personal space on her own bat. This all changes when she finally (finally!) realizes that he's been waiting for her as long (longer, actually) as she was waiting for him.
Still, it would have been nice had there been a few fewer Adilia's waiting to shank Lucy when Fraam's back is turned.
No matter. I give it a Queen of Puddings!
Also, there are really wonderful bits with her family and as a nurse on the ward that I didn't cover very thoroughly in the review but which are well worth the read.

Food: Roast beef, fish and chips, currant buns, Sole Picasso (Cubed Sole?), vanilla ice cream, milk pudding, Poussin en Cocotte, carpet-bag steak (This sounds as tough as old boots.), cheese straws, bubble and squeak, and fried bread.
Fashion: She wears a jersey dress and jacket, a tweed skirt that she hates, a full rose-patterned skirt and (to the hospital ball) a green silk jersey gown with a modest neckline that she'd like to take some shears to and slash the bosom of. Tourists make themselves conspicuous with clothes made of 'uncrushable man-made fibers'. Fraam has a trendy waistcoat and a beautifully cut suit with the pant legs stuffed into wellies. Lucy meets her future in-laws in her traveling clothes--a tweed skirt, a shirt blouse (?) and sweater.

Betty Love

Stevie wondered which would be more likely to capture the heart of Professor Baron van der Teile ter Fuelen: Tribal hair accessories or an illegally imported tropical bird.

via email:

Hello, Bettys! Greetings from Gloucester, UK!

I discovered Betty Neels about a fortnight ago, and am already wondering how I lived before RD(B)Ds were in my life. I started with A Gem of a Girl, and moved quickly on to The Promise of Happiness - and I've not really stopped since. I now have nine paperback Bettys and eleven e-book Bettys (which are great, but which will eventually be replaced by proper book copies). 

I love this site! I love the reviews (which I use to work out which one to buy next) with the ratings and the fashion in all its inevitable jersey glory, and I love the British Word of the Day segments (we do have some rather odd words; as an insider, I don't think that I always appreciate how odd some of our expressions are). I've already got to the point where I have a spreadsheet to detail which Bettys I have, their publishing year, and which format I own them in, and a giant list of 'Bettys I'd Like To Read', which I'm gradually getting through. My favourite so far is Dearest Mary Jane - I think Sir Thomas is one of the best heroes we've had, although Justin Teylingen in Wish With The Candles is pretty lovely too - so's Litrik ter Breukel in Making Sure Of Sarah, when he falls for Sarah despite her canal-y malodorousness.

I think I'm going to make my generous and long-suffering boyfriend take me on a Betty tour of the Cotswolds - I've done Cheltenham on my own, but there are all sorts of villages to visit. If I succeed in my endeavour, I shall take a Betty-in-the-wild photo and send it to you, if you wouldn't mind? Betty-in-situ might be quite fun...

I shall stop mithering you now.

Love (and Bath buns - I just can't get behind lardy cakes),

Rhiannon

Welcome Betty Rhiannon!

I adore your name.  Does everyone break out in song when they hear your name?  You know the one I mean...And is it tedious when they do (...as I am doing this very minute)?

I love that you're so new to the Wonderful World of Betty.  And I wonder how that will color your impressions as contrasted with your fellow Bettys--some of whom were Betty-Fabulous from the pram practically (not myself, sadly) while others became adult hoarders.  I'm sure your fellow Bettys would be thrilled to point you towards their favorites.

We hope desperately that you are taken off to the Cotswolds posthaste and would feel as forlorn as a skinny orphan in an ill-fitting grey dress if we didn't get the pics.

Love and...(for you) Bath buns!

Betty Keira

Great News from Betty Beth

The lovely and once chatty Betty Beth has been sadly absent from our comments sections for several months now -- but not without good reason, as she explained in recent e-mail:

...my long absence... boils down to a shiny new job, a shiny new engagement, and decreased time at my computer due to both of those.  I'm thrilled to death about both, of course, and still read TUJD daily - but I haven't been commenting of late.  I'll do my best to get right back on that!!  Especially as I am waiting with bated breath to see which of the books winds up winning (and/or placing highly) in the tournament...  I'm unfortunately not allowed to vote at this point because I haven't read all of them, but that works in my favor: whichever ones win that I haven't read are coming with me on my honeymoon!

...I just passed my six month mark at my current job (coordinating and hiring sailors and their schedules, and training, and paperwork, and the list goes on and on!), and it's immensely enjoyable.  I'm learning things I never even thought of before, and occasionally I get to go on an ocean-going freighter heading to Alaska to take pictures for training!  I haven't yet made it to Alaska, but my fingers are crossed. :D  I promise if I do ever make it aboard for more than a weekend, I'll bring Mrs. Neels with me, and I'll make some sailors photograph a Betty-in-the-Ocean to prove it!

I'm immensely excited about the wedding as well - he may not be a Rich Dutch Doctor, but my fiance and I have been dating for four years, and we're both looking forward to marriage and a family down the line.  He's a teacher, though, so maybe I shall call him the Professor?  

True to any Neels heroine, I am making all sorts of lists!  My future husband and I are planning a honeymoon on Kauai after our December 1st wedding (which will be down at my parish church, with a lunch reception in my parent's backyard down in San Diego, so hopefully Mrs. Neels would approve!), so I definitely need all the help I can get in picking which books to pack for lazy beach reading and the massive amounts of plane travel I'll be doing!  Any advice from the Bettys would be very gratefully accepted...  

Hopefully I will be back soon - we're resolving the internet connection difficulties at home, and once those have vanished, hopefully sometime next week, I will again be able to comment with the best of them!  Until then, however, I remain your faithful reader (on work computers during my breaks, at least...)

We know already that Children Ruin Everything, but please chime in with any other advice you'd like to share on beach-reading, professional success, marriage, weddings or sailors, or any combination thereof.

Vintage Betty Jackpot

via email:

Hello-

I imagine you'll already have Betty fans in MO so I don't need to be added to your map.  I just wanted to say how much I enjoy your blog and how it's helped me in my quest for Betty's.  I also have enjoyed your cooking posts.  I've not subjected my family to British cooking but if they catch me reading often ask if it's a Betty.

Anyway, I wanted to share a neat Betty collector story with folks who can appreciate a great find.  First a little background- I've been collecting Betty's for around 10 years.  I was introduced to them by a friend who used to order them from a seller in Australia.  She had "allowance" to  spend so I read hers and bought books at they were reprinted by Harlequin. As time went on, I've bought them everywhere- I love the old covers.  Unfortunately, my collection was lacking the oldest Neels.  I had never even seen A Sister in Amsterdam.  I live in rural Mo and have access to one used book store in town.  Our little library has a book sale once a year and has a tiny room in the library for donated books that they don't think will sell in the annual sale.  I walked in a couple of months ago and saw 4 or 5 shelves covered with old Harlequins in  mint condition- evidently some older woman had a subscription back in the 70's and had read them once and they had sat upon her shelf.  I thought I'd be lucky to find one Neels in the lot.  I found the first 10 or  so original editions printed by Harlequin in the US.  I'm still in shock.  Yes, the pages are yellowed, but the covers are pristine and I have the joy of having a nearly complete Betty collection.  BTW- I got them for $.10/piece.  I could barely contain myself at my good fortune.  The only other time I've found even half as many non re-prints was when a collector had dropped off her collection at the used book store.

I know I'll never,ever have another Betty find day like that again.  I have to add that my neighbor picked up a few of the non Betty's from the same era and they're not as well written.  Harlequin definitely had a jem in Betty.


From one Betty fan to others

(Betty) Jennifer

While not my favorite Neels, Ring in a Teacup wins in the Adorable Cover Art category hands down.

Dear Betty Jennifer,

I adore the old covers - they have such fun details!  Congratulations on scoring a bunch for such a fabulously low price.

Love and lardy cakes,

Betty Debbie

Not Your Average Bedsit.

via email:

Hi Bettys,

This is a floor plan of an apt in NYC, but I thought it appropriate for the BN book where our heroine is the Nanny in Vienna. 

I always wanted a floor plan in my mind because so much of the story happens in that apartment. 

http://media.bhsusa.com/floorplans/w1736882.jpg

Betty Francesca

 

 On behalf of everyone here at TUJD, I'd like to thank Betty Francesca for this awesome floor plan.  I've never really been able to visualize an apartment that seemed big enough to house the assorted servants that invariably go with RDDs (or even the occasional Veronica).  There are actually several RDDs who maintain a London apartment, and now I can more easily visualize something grand enough to qualify as a part-time abode for a fabulously wealthy Dutch Doctor.

-Betty Debbie

Upcoming Reprise

Monday, August 6th.

A Match for Sister Maggy

Take your pick from three (3!) different titles, Maggy has a bit of Scottish brogue, Evil Belgians.

Pineapple Girl--Reprise

I'd like to see a show of hands for all Bettys that found this title wonderfully unforgettable but also found this novel a bit of a let-down...I remember finding it in a pile of used books and seizing on my copy with a "The Great Betty had a 'Pineapple Girl' in her line-up?  Eureka!" and being so excited to read it.

And I'm not saying it was a bad read necessarily but, for this Betty, it didn't live up to its originality promised on the cover page.

But, as with all Betty-books, there is still plenty to love.

Love and lardy cakes!

Betty Keira

 
Eloise Bennet - tall, shapely, nutbrown hair. Plainish as to face...'her nose was just a nose' (why is that a bad thing?)......she works the night shift at St. Goth's.
While making her rounds one evening, a patient presents her with a pineapple - rather in the manner of a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat. Frankly, it's a good thing Eloise gets the pineapple. Why? Because that pineapple is the one thing that makes this Neels stand out - in an otherwise less than memorable book.

While racing down the stairs at St. Goth's, Eloise sees a strange man staring at her - as though she was surrounded by winking lights or something. Up goes her chin and Eloise becomes Pineapple Girl when she misses the final stair and takes a header - thus dropping the pineapple which rolls across the floor and is dented on the stranger's expensive shoe. I'm sure there were some quick pleas for the earth to open up and swallow her - but no such luck - girlfriend is hoisted to her feet and dusted off by the stranger and Sir Arthur Newman. Great first impression. Great.

Eloise aka Pineapple Girl, rides her ancient bicycle home, through the London streets - and drops into bed - to try and sleep through the day.

Mum brings her tea in bed and asks about the pineapple. Was it a special pineapple? Why? asks Eloise...because a large Fortnum and Mason basket of fruit has magically appeared, addressed to...the Pineapple Girl! Handsome stranger has sent a basket - but not his name, so there is no way to say thank you and she'd really sort of rather not...

Mevrouw Deborah Pringle comes to visit...she just had a rather vague 'procedure' and needs a nurse to come back to Holland with her for a couple of weeks. Mevrouw Pringle is a charming old friend of Mrs. Bennett's - not only does she get Eloise to agree to come to Holland, she also arranges for Mrs. Bennett to go stay with Mrs. Plunkett back in Eddlescombe.
Mevrouw Pringle confides in Eloise that she has inoperable cancer - and that she has six months to live. Editor's note: Anyone familiar with doctors in Neeldom will immediately suspect that 'six months to live' is a bald faced lie...which it is.

Mevrouw Pringle only has weeks to live - and no one is going to tell her - especially not her doctor - who turns out to be the handsome stranger who sent the healthy fruit basket. Doctor Timon van Zeilst.

And now we get to the interaction between Eloise and the RDD. I wish I could say I enjoyed it. But it leaves me a little meh. Timon is dating a small, willowy, vicious blonde named Liske. The kind who wears silver lamé suits with jangly gold bracelets. Yuk. The man has no taste. Of course he's now in love with Eloise - but besides the occasional kiss he is astoundingly reticent about his feelings. A little openness and this could have been a short story. But I digress.

Mevrouw Pringle is dying to have a dinner party (get it? I slay myself...). Too bad the only fancy dress Eloise has is a slightly elderly velvet dress the colour of a mole. Timon will bring Liske of course. Let him bring a dozen Liske's...she could care less. The Pringles son is coming - there will be someone for her. Yes, he's a head shorter than her and balding to boot. He is also the type of man who would poke around the kitchen to see if his wife cleaned the saucepans properly. In spite of his mother being terminally ill, Pieter only ever thinks of himself. Let's ignore him. He's really not a player. Meanwhile, back in Eddlescombe, Mrs. Bennett is being squired around the village by Mr. Jack Plunkett. Why bring that up? You'll see.
Mevrouw Pringle starts going downhill fast...really fast. In fact, she dies within only 2 or 3 weeks of returning to Holland. Eloise calls her mum - who says that she'll be coming to the funeral...Jack will drive her there and take both of them back. Mrs. Bennett and Jack are in fact, engaged and plan on marrying shortly. Love must be in the air - because it only takes a page or two for Eloise to realize she's in love with Timon. Rather hopelessly. She's plain...he's dating Vicious Liske and....he's stinking rich! Eloise's heart drops to her shoes when she sees his home for the first time - it's so grand. He is soooo obviously beyond her reach...besides, he's going to marry Viscous Liske, right? Liske is busy throwing "keep your hands off my property" looks at her - so Timon must be planning on marrying her, right? Who knows? He's certainly not saying.

Now that Mevrouw Pringle is gone, it's time to go back to London and the sad little flat behind the Imperial War Museum. It's time for Eloise to go back, Mum will be going to Eddlescombe to marry Jack. Eloise volunteers to finish up the packing in London then move into the Nurses Home at the hospital. She spends some time in fruitless daydreaming - yes, she's dreaming of Timon - probably a Liske-less Timon. Guess who is leaning on her doorbell while she's trying to get some much needed sleep? It's Timon! He would like her to come back to Holland with him and spend a couple of weeks cheering up Cor Pringle.

Her: Dang...oh, well...how about some breakfast? Sorry about the primitive conditions.

Him: I am a primitive man.

Really? We've had a glimpse of his grand house - the one with mulberry pink ceilings. That may not be quite our taste, but primitive it is not.

Eloise balks at going - how can she leave her job? She's got no more holiday leave. What about a secure future?

Him: If you were allowed to leave at a moments notice, would you come?

Her: Yes.

So, leave she does. Timon and Sir Arthur conspire together to bamboozle the Nursing Superintendent into letting Eloise go at a moments notice. In spite of the tearing hurry, Timon plans a side trip to Eddlescombe. Which gives Eloise time to stick her foot in her mouth.

Her: I thought you and Liske were getting married.

Him: You may think what you wish.

Aargh. More of that unbounded reticence. Even when Eloise tries to apologize, Timon is downright rude.

Him: Putting out feelers? That will get you nowhere with me.

Aargh. Double Aargh.

Eloise is a natural at cheering up the grieving Cor Pringle. She does get to see a little more of Timon, but that is a bittersweet treat. Especially when he hosts a dinner party and invites Vicious Liske. Dinner is delicious, but a willowy blonde like Vicious Liske doesn't eat. She does, however make thinly veiled insults while looking at Eloise - I should hate to get fat.

You can't answer rudeness like that - so Eloise doesn't, in fact she opts for seconds. You go, girlfriend!

After a visit to Timon's sister, Eloise just has to go fishing for information again - despite the fact that her earlier fishing expeditions have netted her exactly no fish.

Her: I thought you might have invited Vicious Liske since you're going to marry her.

Him: Am I? Would you like to see me married to Liske?

Her: As long as you're happy.

Him: With half a dozen kids? I'm not sure Vicious Liske would agree to that. I can see that I nearly made a humungous mistake...I'd need to fix that, Pineapple Girl...

Timon has a date with Vicious Liske...it's a break-up date! But Liske is not going down without some some down and dirty mud-wrestling. She comes to Casa Pringle. It's The Attack of Vicious Liske! Accusations and insults fly with wild abandon....Liske is at her most vicious. She is not fighting for love though, she's fighting for lifestyle. I can already tell that this won't end well.

One more time, one more try - Vicious Liske barges into Timon's house and starts slinging more mud, you are a harpy and designing trollop!...but this time Eloise is not going to take it, so she gives a little back - which is where Timon walks in...just in time to hear her say that Liske is like something that lives under a stone...and then Timon is wept on and lied to by Vicious Liske. AND HE BELIEVES HER!

Aargh. Triple Aargh.

Eloise grabs her coat and leaves...in the teeth of a raging gale - and I can't say I blame her. Of all the insufferable things to happen - having the man you love believe horrible things about you because of your worst enemy. I get it. I'd storm out in the teeth of a gale too. Timon does come after her - they shelter from the storm in an abandoned cottage. Seems like it would be a perfect opportunity for some romantic declarations or at very least, some explanations...but no...Timon would like to talk to Eloise tomorrow. In the meantime he's blathering on about the supposed mud she was slinging at poor Vicious Liske. Instead of waiting for him to show up for a talk the next day, she buys an airline ticket and flies back to England. Eloise has got the itch to get as far away from Timon as possible so she takes a temp job as matron in a boys prep school somewhere in the wilds of Cumbria. Let's wrap it up:

*Eloise goes out on a ledge to save a small boy from suicide.

*Timon drives up just in time to save both of them.

*Timon goes away.

*Eloise gets ready to leave the school and is stopped by Timon.

*Declarations of love, then the second shortest engagement in Neeldom (about 30 minutes - only topped by the engagement in Heidelberg Wedding).

The end.

Rating: Pineapple Girl is a bit like a can of fruit cocktail...only the peaches are dependable...sometime the pears are okay...but that's about it. Some of Pineapple Girl is good - but much is only so-so at best. Too much of the book is either canned grapes or maraschino cherries. Both of which should be banned by a unilateral trade agreement. Timon is one of the most frustrating RDD's...he has a few good moments, but all too often he's canned grapes - especially when he is so abominably reticent. He sinks to the level of maraschino cherries when he listens to Liske's lies and believes her over Eloise. The best I can give this is Madeira cake.

Food: Sizzling macaroni cheese, pineapple, rice pudding, porridge showered with sugar. And to top it off, here's a direct quote: "Would she ever forget the salmon mousse, the roast pheasant, the great silver dishes of vegetables, the sauces?" Doesn't get much better than that.

Fashion: angora cap, scarf and gloves to liven up her old coat, elderly velvet dress the colour of a mole, grey jersey, dark green coat and hat with a lighter green dress. Vicious Liske wears a silver lamé suit with gold bangles.