A Gem of a Girl - 1976 Discussion Thread

Neels heroines fall into 3 general categories (yes, of course there are exceptions!!)

• Category 1 [Betty Keira] We will call this "The Araminta"- small, plump and plain. The hair is generally mousy or some shade of red. Beautiful eyes, wide mouth, tip-tilted nose.


• Category 2 To be called "The Olivia" - tall and statuesque...or Junoesque. Tall heroines are beautiful...and generally have red, auburn, chestnut or Titian hair.


• Category 3 "The Outlier"- other. There is occasionally the odd girl with short, dark, curly hair. Ditto blonds. Sometimes heroines are described as "too thin" - but once they are happy and taken care of they plump up. To quote a Barenaked Ladies song, "When we are happy we both get fat..."
  

I had a tough time visualizing any leading man falling for a short, dumpy, plain girl...until I realized that what Neels calls "plump" is usually referring to...ahem...bosoms. (If there's anything we Hanna girls know, it's bosoms.) Her plump girls always have either a neat or a tiny waist. They may be curvy, but they are never fat. Only an "Other Woman" would ever call a Neels leading lady fat. If I had read this book when it first came out (I was 16 years old!)( I was just born!) - I would have totally identified with Gemma. Short, plump and plain (with rather fine eyes) - that pretty much described me. (I'm sensing a theme here) Neels leading ladies always look good in swimsuits, even bikinis (always bikinis)- while I don't think I could have said the same about me, I did spend a lot of time in a swimsuit back then...while I was on the swim team. My point is, even if Betty describes a girl as "plump" - don't fall for it.

Villains. There really aren't a lot of out and out villains in Neeldom. Villainesses, yes. Villains, no. It's rather fun when a villain gets his comeuppance. Not every one gets quite as good a thrashing as Leo de Vos. Two front teeth knocked out? Totally awesome. But I'm left wondering who settled the dental bill. De Vos? Or is he enough of a cad to stick it to our hero?

The surest sign that a man has bad moral fiber (or should that be "fibre"? Please yes.) is to be found in his driving habits. Good guys always drive well, never fidget, never get impatient, and never have any trouble driving in horrible driving conditions (ice, snow, sleeting rain, thunderstorms, etc...). They also open car doors for girls (even when they were racing to the geriatric hospital for the fire!) and buckle their seat belts for them (really? The only time my husband ever buckled my seat belt for me was last year when he was taking me to the hospital with a broken wrist!). The first sign of a bad guy (whether a villain or a soon to be ex-boyfriend/fiancee) is that he starts drumming on the steering wheel when traffic is slow. Note to men: don't drum on the steering wheel. Besides bad driving, a villain can also be detected in their appearance. Betty Keira mentioned longish hair and trendy clothes...but the real kicker is that their eyes are just a little too small and close together. (I wonder if you could pick them out in nursery? "Oh, look at that kid...his eyes are squinty - he's a villain!")

Finally, I would like some one's old nanny to come house keep for me. Or better yet, an old tutor (or an arthritic grandfather) could come and tutor my youngest son...he's working on his maths right now. Me too! Where's my loyal, overworked home help?!

Also, I should mention some bits and pieces: She ate "Wholesome cheese pudding" (I question the wholesomeness), salmon poached in white wine (we'll have to pass on that), and a lemon syllabub. Also, "It was surprising what two cups of coffee and a cheese roll did for her outraged feelings..."

Fashions: Denim jumpers (!), an overused pink dress that barely passes muster, and the wild silk number.