Saturday, May 14, 2011

The Return of Betty. Chapter II

Betty JoDee gets us started:
Chapter II

Aralucia looked up from her pretense of reading the latest Vogue to steal a glance at the professor who had buried his face in a Lancet the minute they took their seats on the hovercraft. He slid a sideways glance at her.

“Arcie, I hardly think that you’ll find anything in there to suit your, er, curves.”

She raised an indignant chin in response, “How rude! You don’t have to remind me that I’ll never be a candidate for fashion modeling. And,” she narrowed her eyes, “don’t call me ‘Arcie.’ That kind of endearment is saved only for a beloved or betrothed.”

Arching an eyebrow in derision, “Don’t you mean beloved AND betrothed? Aren’t they mutually inclusive?”

She snapped back, “Haven’t you heard of a Marriage of Convenience?”

[It is here, Clever Reader, that I was dearly wanted to go with “Listen, Sister, I’ve been married, and it ain’t convenient!”—but suppressing my inner Groucho instead I went with:]

The professor gleamed beneath his heavily lidded eyes, “Although I have colleagues who tried out such nonsense, I view dressing room cots as beastly uncomfortable.

Just jump in, Bettys--


  1. Betty Barbara here--

    Aralucia wisely decided to change the subject to the very safe one of travel plans.
    "I know that we land at Calais but what is our route from there? And how long will it take?"
    "My dear girl, I thought you had that route burned into your memory! We shall be at my home in time for dinner, after a necessary stop for coffee and a visit to the potted palms."
    Aralucia had thought that the professor had already reached his limit on rudeness, but, really!
    The crossing was uneventful; the journey unfolded just a foretold by the professor. Soon they were turning off the quiet road and through the gates leading to the broad steps of a substantial brick home. They had barely come to a halt when the from door opened and a spry, white haired man came down to greet them. "That's Jeep. He looks after me and the house. And he was in the Resistance with my father. That makes him 82, but don't worry, his grandson is hovering in the background to do all the heavy lifting.

    And thus endeth my humble contribution. Feel free to accept it, edit it or kick it to the kerb.

  2. Aralucia smiled and shook Jeep's hand.
    "A likely candidate for the doctor, I'll be bound," he said to his wife Meep, the housekeeper, later on.
    She would never expect breakfast in bed like VeronicaMonica did during her brief, painful visits. VeronicaMonica hated the house and often said she would get rid of all the furniture and put all the servants out to pasture when she was mistress.
    Jeep cringed when he thought about her taste, "Danish modern", she proclaimed in her loud, grating voice, when last she visited. "With low tables and uncomfortable chairs. We don't want anyone to stay long," she confided to Jeeps. "Especially my mother in law to be, or any of those stupid English girls married to RDD's."
    RDD's thought Jeep.
    [please feel free to delete or change names, etc.]

  3. Aralucia followed the vast back of her new employer up the wide winding stairs, and was strangely attracted to his well cut trousers and trendy waistcoat. "How can I have these feelings? I hate the man!", she thought.

    "You only think that now, we've got at least four chapters before you have your dawning realization. In the meantime, Meep will show you to your well appointed room with large clothes cupboards for your meager wardrobe", he said silkily.

    "How do you that mind reading thing! And how abominable of you to dis my fashion sense", Aralucia muttered snappily.
    Professor Salid ignored her anachronistic banter, and went on. "There is a white and pearly pink necessary room with every conceivable beauty aid that will do nothing to improve your plain mousiness, but no matter, your splendidly large eyes and bosom, I mean person, are enough to keep me awake at night. When you finish meet me in the west wing. Mrs Trodden is waiting." He gave her a nasty smile and was gone.

    Before she could enter her room, Aralucia was drawn to the sound of a door knocker. It was someone at the door with no knockers to speak of, she thought vindictively, grateful that the professor was not nearby to sense her thoughts. She was already waiting three chapters for the catty cat remark. Jeep opened the door and to no one's surprise it was VeronicaMonica, who would heretofore be known as Vee-Mon in the not so private recesses of Aralucia's mind, as it rhymed with demon.
    With barely a moment to spare Aralucia snapped her door shut as Vee-Mon snarkily demanded Jeep to make Dorf aware of her arrival.

  4. Aralucia tweaked Mrs. Trodden's bed linen to a nicety.

    "Never you mind, Sister," Mrs. Trodden said. "That hissing Vemon is no match for your kind and good nature. Plus, Meep slipped me a fiver to make sure you and the Professor end up together, lest she and Jeep get sent to the knackers."

    "Surely you misunderstood -- it would be the scruffy donkey I see in the far paddock that would be sent to the knackers."

    "Yeah, that's as may be, but Meep spelled it out pretty clear to my eyes, even if she doesn't know any English. Something about the finger run across the throat translates pretty clear, yer know. So you change into a pretty jersey dress appropriate to the season, which I'm ashamed to admit I've forgotten and can't be bother to go check, put on some high heel sandals that pinch your toes, and git yer man, uh, professor."

    "Oh, I was thinking I would put on sensible lace-up shoes and go for a walk where I could come across a tinker tormenting a small kitten in a sack, or maybe a cowering puppy."

    Mrs. Trodden considered that. "Yeah, that'd work too, I reckon."

  5. Oh wow. We are a clever group of Bettys, are we not?
    Betty Barbara, who is honored to hang out with this crowd.