Betty by the Numbers: Ages

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Betty by the Numbers: Ages

by Betty van den Betsy

The Unequal Marriage, by Vasili Pukirev, 1862

Wikipedia claims that average age at first marriage in the UK, as of 2005, was 31 for men and 29 for women, and in the Netherlands, as of some year later than 2000, also 31 for men but 28 for women. However, in 1963 the UK’s averages were 22 for women and 23 for men – so perhaps Betty’s heroines weren’t completely bonkers when they started getting nervous about being single at 27.

The UK’s Office for National Statistics reports that 26% of 1995 brides married younger men (7% married men more than six years younger), a significant increase from 15% in 1963. Germany’s Max Planck Institute, studying Danish marriages, found that a man married to a woman seven to nine years younger than he is 11% less likely to die prematurely than a man married to a woman his own age; a man whose wife is 15 to 17 years younger has a 20% lower chance of premature death. However, the younger wife is more likely to die young – and women married to younger men (seven to nine years younger) have even higher odds of premature death. Final serious-science note: University of Colorado researchers found that in most marriages where husband and wife are significantly different ages, in either direction, both spouses are likely to have lower earnings – though the women make up for that by working more hours.

Does any of this sound conclusive to you?

We certainly know how Betty felt on age difference in marriage: husbands should be at least seven years older than their wives. That’s the age difference for four of her marriages; the widest gap is the 18 years between Mary Jane’s 22 and Fabian’s 40 in Winter of Change (1975), and the most common is in the ten to thirteen-year range.

Betty specified the exact ages of 91% (123) of her heroines, from Polly Talbot’s 20 (Polly, 1984) to Julia Mitchell’s 30 (At the End of the Day, 1985). Just over 80% of them range from 23 to 27, with the greatest number, 25, clocking in at the high end of the range, at 27 years young, and the second-largest number, 22, coming in at the low end, having recently celebrated birthday 23.

On the men’s side, the youngster is 29-year old Ivo of The Fifth Day of Christmas (1971). Thirteen of them claim 40 years in their dishes, but most – 37, or 36% of the 103 men with specified ages – are 35 or 36, with another 36 heroes aged 37, 38 or 39. They’re all too young for me, according to the Planck people – or at least, they would be if I were Danish. Certainly some heroes have prior marriages behind them, but on the whole Betty seems to believe that an ideal husband is mid- to late-thirties, and he should marry a woman in her mid-twenties. May I confess I think 20 year-old Polly awfully young to be marrying?

Of those 102 marriages where I can arrive at an exact figure, because she gives the hero’s age instead of waffling about with a “well into his thirties”, the median age difference is 12 years. (The one marriage where we get the hero’s age (34) but not the heroine’s is Amabel’s and Oliver’s in Always and Forever (2001).) The majority, 56%, are in the 10-13 years-difference segment of the canon’s 7-18 year range

On a personal note, the Jonkheer is just over six years older than I, so I’d best wrap this up and get looking for a younger model, according to the Planck people – or an older one, if Betty’s recipe is right.

Tony Curtis, born 1925, with fifth or sixth wife (there’s some uncertainty about his possible fourth marriage) Jill Ann Vandenberg, born 1967? The marriage lasted from 1998 (left) until Curtis’s death in 2010 (right).

Dennis Kucinich, born 1946, with his third wife Elizabeth Kucinich, born 1977; married since 2005. Or call it Elizabeth with her first husband.

Cayetana Fitz-James Stuart y Silva, billionaire Spanish duchess born 1926, with third husband (she was widowed twice) Alfonso Diez, born 1949; they just married in 2011.

Zsa Zsa Gabor, born 1917, with ninth husband Frederic Prinz von Anhalt, born 1943? They celebrated their silver wedding anniversary in 2001, and remain married.

Diana, Princess of Wales, born 1961, with her only husband, Prince Charles, born 1948. Their marriage lasted from 1981 until their divorce in 1996 – they legally separated in 1992.

Kate Middleton and Prince William, both born 1982. Married in April 2011, first time for each, they are now the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

Camille Cosby, born 1945, and her first husband, Bill Cosby, born 1937. They’ve been married since 1964; in 1997 they suffered the violent death of their youngest son, 28-year old Ennis, in a street robbery.

The Duchess of Cornwall, born 1947, and Prince Charles, born 1948. They’ve been married since 2005 – second time for each, after a divorce apiece.