In the category: "
One of the Easiest Plots to Remember":
A Gentle Awakening. Betty Keira is spot on when she says that it's impossible to mix up the plot of this book with any other Neels....however, the name is less than memorable as it seems to be 3 Romance Novel Names Drawn From A Hat. If it had a name like "Florina's Revenge" or "The Half-Dutch Cordon Bleu Girl", then you'd really never forget it. Enough of that, and in honor of last night's Oscar's, let's get on with the fun.
In the category "
Book with the Worst Name for a House":
A Gentle Awakening. Pemberly is a fine name for a house. Ogre's Relish is fantastic (dibs!), Wheel House is okay (although it sounds like something on a ship). But then we have: "...if the weather is fine he wants to take a picnic...He's asked the Meggisons from
Butt House..." Really? How hard would it be to change - because that's the first thing I would do before moving in.
[Betty Keira] I'm thinking of Green Gables and Manderley and Chidlake and Bleak House and Northanger Abbey...
Best PBS Fine Arts Special: "
How many is too many when it comes to people in the kitchen?" Working well with other people in the kitchen is like a finely choreographed ballet....Cook #1 pirouettes to the stove as Cook #2 does a pas de deux with Cook #3 on the way to get something out of the refrigerator and freezer at the same time. Sou chef prepares vegetables at the prep sink....yeah, no. I can work with one other person...after that it starts to get messy. Gratuitously inviting several children at the same time into a kitchen is a recipe for disaster and should only be reserved for desperate birthday parties.
I must be a wicked woman because I have to work hard at letting my kids help me in the kitchen. It doesn't flow organically from my good nature to pinch off a ball of dough for them to knead. When I let them help out we have five times the mess and half the speed and dispatch.
Nature Documentary: Florina and Pauline feed the swans often ...we don't have a lot of swans in the Pacific Northwest...however, we do get a lot of ducks and geese. They tend to leave a lot of droppings. Just sayin'. And often-fed geese get very aggressive. I kept wondering if the swans ever became encroaching beggars.
Best Comeuppance in a Romance Novel featuring a Half-Dutch Cook: Florina dumps a pitcher
of lemonade on Wanda Fortesque. Wanda has just been unforgivably rude to Florina, so she defends herself...Wanda slaps her face....Florina dumps the lemonade. Priceless. Really. But the thought of having this scene repeated word for word to Sir William did make me squirm. Wanda does make it clear that Florina is sickening for him. [Betty Debbie] Betty Keira referred to "The Code of Womanhood"...which totally reminded me of "The Code of the Woosters". There should probably be a "Code of the Neels Hero", wherein heroes, much like Bertie Wooster, are not allowed to break engagements willy-nilly. Engagements are only to be broken by the evil fiancee - whether directly or by being caught snogging Larry the American.
Chase Scene: When racing back to his home to rescue Florina and his daughter Sir William calls the police so that they know why he's speeding and won't pull him over. Discuss. "Dear Police, I will be racing home in my 5 year old Ford Windstar Mini-van because my kid has a possible concussion. Please don't pull me over." Somehow I don't think it has the right ring to it. Dang. If only I had a Bentley. (Note* discuss possibility of getting a Bentley with Dr. van der Stevejinck ASAP.) My kids would have cheerios all over that Bentley if given half a chance so it's probably a function of Remarkable Fate that I have a Toyota mini-van. Since my kids are older, it wouldn't be Cheerios...they would want to borrow the car, and then they would wreck it, so I suppose Fate Takes a Hand in keeping me out of a Bentley.
Best Dumping Scene in a Romance featuring a Famous Paediatrician: Easily my second favorite scene...where Sir William engineers a plot to get Wanda to dump him. The plot involved a seemingly innocent introduction to an American millionaire (query: how many American mill
ionaires do you know?), a long muddy walk in the country, complete with nettles, a refusal to sell Wheel House and send Pauline off to boarding school. What's a Wanda to do? She is out of there faster than you can say "half-Dutch cordon bleu cook cum nanny". Sir William shows such creativity in the dumping. I am only surprised that he didn't do it earlier--though, Wicked Wanda probably wouldn't have thrown his engagement ring back at him while Florina was in the house. She would have hung on just for spite. I'm getting tired of calling him"Sir William". Let's call him Bill. Or, more formally, "Sir Billy".
Best Costumes: Sir William makes two appearances in his night clothes--described as "a splendid dressing gown" and a "rather grand dressing gown". I'm thinking olive green paisleys. What say ye? That's it
Most Pertinent Observation by a Five-Year-Old: Wanda could never be considered good step-mother material (which begs the question: What was William thinking?). Pauline observes, "...she's not like a mother, is she? She fusses about her clothes!" I daresay that could be fixed easily if she was willing to wear a zip-up nylon coverall for mother-daughter bonding.
A perfect kitchen.
Aga--a Neels essential. No respectable half-Dutch cook would be caught dead whipping up fairy cakes on anything less.
rtain parties of loud and unruly children. A large table is a must.
