Monday, February 24, 2014

Betty Pets: Living in Harmony

We all know that Betty loved her pets, mostly in the cat-and-dog categories, but further in horses, ponies, donkeys and an occasional chicken.  With the notable exceptions of the Founding Betties, most of the tribe here at TUJD are fans of the house pet as well.  Last summer, Betty Magdalen and Betty Ross were kind enough to invite me to their home in the rural mid-Atlantic, and my stay at Harmony was not only blissfully serene but also happily enlivened by the presence of:

Linus

Polly!  Sorry for the glare off the book cover.
Mimi, who took me for brisk, Betty-esque walks every day, albeit with a bit more potential for rushing off to chase deer than one finds in Betty-land, where the pets are so extraordinarily well-behaved, and only fall in canals when necessary to bring two young hearts (okay, one young and one verging-on-middle-aged heart) together.

And is also an avid frog hunter



Unless I misunderstood something, all of these wonder-critters are rescue pets.  Hooray for Betty M. and Betty R., and for each of their loving, soothing (and occasionally invigorating, cf: Mimi walks above) companions.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Betty in the Wild: the Deep South

There is, of course, no such thing as a deep south in either the UK or the Netherlands.  However, Betty would certainly find much of interest in Sarasota, Florida, and Savannah, Georgia.

Sarah Ann loves arranging flowers, for instance.   A handsome clump of
Spanish moss can add unexpected, New-World flair
to an heirloom Delft vase-ful of tulips or whatever.

Sarasota's Marie Selby Botanical Gardens might help an old-fashioned English girl lose her distrust of vulgar Americans.  Or maybe not - are orchids vulgar?

Maybe purple generally is vulgar.  It is certainly neither pink nor clerical gray.

I understand that they would not wish to live there, but Florida can certainly make a great place to visit, say if the Scottish winters start to feel a bit daunting.  Maybe I'm just thinking that, though, because I was in Sarasota back in October, and now I'm back in DC, where the second segment of a good-size snowstorm is dropping another 4-6 inches of snow on the driveway I just cleared of approximately 14 inches.  My Florida friend is testy because the upcoming holiday means the beaches are crowded with tourists.

Ha ha to her come spring, though, when I get back out into the garden as she ducks back into the air-conditioning and mosquito screens.


Personally, I'd prefer not to garden with mangroves, but I suspect Hugo and the Mrs.
are up for anything.

As we all know, touring, whether in Avignon or along the Gulf coast, is exhausting, and requires a nice pick-me-up in the mid-afternoon.


Tea at Selby gardens.  Really, paper cups were all they had.  Oh, woe.
But the menu of loose-leaf teas available was a skosh insane with the variety.

Savannah, Georgia, is famously eccentric in ways that might not appeal to everyone, but it also has proud traditions that would surely earn the Van Elvens's approbation.

For instance, birthplace of Juliette Gordon Low, founder of the Girl Scouts.


Birthplace of the Methodist church, or something like that.
Sure, Methodism isn't CofE, but it's pretty well-mannered.

By the way, that last one's for you, Betty JoDee.  Mwah.

Friday, January 31, 2014

Worst Betty Scene Ever



An anonymous Betty recently commented on Betty Keira's magnificently entertaining review of Ring in a Teacup, saying, amongst other sapient things, that it's one of her favorites.  (There I go, just assuming the commenter is female.)  I love Ring in a Teacup myself, but it will never be a favorite – because of that ludicrous, horrible, ridiculous final scene, when Lucy runs away from Fraam's home, checks into a hotel without any money, and gets locked into her room by an hotel employee, who phones Fraam to let him know they've got a penniless impostor claiming to be his fiancĂ©e penned up on the premises.  This, for me, qualifies for inclusion on the short list of competitors for Worst Betty Scene Ever.

Other contenders?  Please share your views.

Just guessin’:
Betty JoDee:  pages 1 through 224 of The Hasty Marriage, but especially the wedding;
Betty Anonymous:  the Worst Betty Scene Ever is still better than anyone else’s best;
Betty Keira:  cold, damp Scotland and Eliza charging a hill and being outflanked by a major meteorological event;
Betty Debbie:  each description of Sarre’s parenting ‘skills’.

Oooh, ooh – I’m also nominating:

  1. scenes in which Maggy speaks in Scots dialect, even though the action may be magnificent, amusing or thrilling, as the random insertion of 'och' and 'wee' is sheerly irritating;
  2. every ruddy time Ivo and Julia discuss how unappealing intelligence is in a woman;
  3. Loveday plotting with Sieska or whatever her name is to get her married to a gold-digger via cruise ship skullduggery that makes absolutely no sense at all.  Why couldn’t she just have written as Loveday saying, ‘well, let’s go on a cruise so you can get to know him better and we don’t have to tell your cousin that golddigger will be on the ship, too’;
  4. Alcoholic Louisa of Heaven Around the Corner being prescribed 1-2 alcoholic beverages per day; and
  5. Jake, that pompous twit, abusing Browning to his own ends, in All Else Confusion.


What say you, Betties?

Thursday, January 23, 2014

The Huge Roses, Chapter 1, part 2

American nurse Tory Bird is visiting Amsterdam in conjunction with her sister Jane's business trip.  While there, she assists an injured English tourist, briefly meeting Dutch orthopedic surgeon Maximilan van den Nie.

When last we saw our heroine:

"Just for a moment, walking back in the crisp, fresh air, watching the moonlight gild the water of the canals, enjoying the almost lacey delicacy of the arched bridges, Tory’s mind flashed up a memory of Dr. van den Nie’s smile.  It is a romantic place, she thought, remembering Valerie Bailey’s words, and hooked an arm through her sister’s, drawing her close.  The two of them strolled contentedly, looking forward to a Saturday exploring together.  And not too far away, the big Dutch doctor, checking Frank Bailey’s altogether satisfactory chart, gave a moment’s thought to the quietly competent young American nurse.  Lovely eyes, he recalled, and nothing fussy about her."


Moving ever onward:


THE HUGE ROSES (working title)
copyright 2014 by Betty van den Betsy; not for reprint or publication without permission

Chapter 1, part 2



Nothing fussy indeed!  Tory, with time to spare while Jane focused on business, had organized bicycle rentals in the Waterland for their Saturday together, outside the usual tourist haunts of the capital city.  The two of them enjoyed a 20-mile bike ride, then caught the ferry that brought them back to the city center.  Jane had chosen their lunch stop, an opulent cafĂ©-cum-chocolate shop where Tory delighted in a grilled cheese and ginger sandwich, and the two of them lingered over the chocolate counter, picking and choosing to fill boxes for a dozen friends.  “When we pass by a grocery store,” Tory announced, “I’m going to get some of that chopped ginger.  The twins will flip over those sandwiches!”
After an afternoon at the Rijksmuseum, steeping themselves in the simple, beautiful light and lifelike figures of Rembrandt and his disciples, Tory and Jane returned to their hotel to find their room had been enlivened by a gigantic bouquet of flowers in many shades of blues and yellows.  “Why would they send you flowers on your next-to-last day?” Tory asked.  She knew Jane was a valued customer of several hotel chains, and sometimes received upgrades and other perks.
“They wouldn’t,” her sister answered, picking up the card lying next to the vase.  “They’re for you.  And there are two cards.”  She handed both envelopes over, and Tory opened the first in puzzlement.  “Oh, they’re from the English people I helped yesterday.  The wife and I talked about our hotels.  And the other envelope...” she paused in astonishment.  “It’s from that doctor.  ‘I am unable to use the enclosed tickets for tonight’s orchestra performance at the Concertgebouw, and hope they may be useful to you.  It is, in my view, a quintessential Amsterdam experience.  You will be pleased to know that Frank Bailey is recovering well; one of my colleagues set his break and he is responding nicely.  Yours sincerely’ – I can’t make out the signature.  It’s a good thing the rest of this is typed.  There’s definitely an ‘M’ to start, and then a few blobs.”
She looked up, staring at her sister.  “I suppose Mrs. Bailey must have told him where we’re staying.  We talked about hotels.  Do you think we should go?  The concert starts,” she checked the tickets, “in about an hour and a half.  I bet they’re good seats, too; him and his Rolls.”
Jane burst out with a laugh, and said, “Of course we should go.  Let’s doll up a bit.  They’re a smidge more formal here than we might be at home.”
Doll up!  Easy for Jane to say, with her salary and the shops of Boston to peruse at her leisure, but Tory had a different kind of wardrobe.  She mentally reviewed her packing:  khaki slacks, a twill skirt, the black skirt – no, not denim.  “Jane, does a cotton knit dress count as dolling up?”
“That pretty leaf-green one?  That should be fine; I’ll lend you a scarf that will gussy it up a little, and pearl studs.  Sound okay?  I’m just wearing one of my suit skirts,” she threw a black wool pencil skirt onto the bed, “and this sweater.”  A lavender cashmere scoop-neck followed.  “And chunky amethysts,” Jane finished, striding to the bureau.  “I’ll shower first, if you don’t mind, since I have to blow-dry.”
‘Dolled up,’ Tory and Jane splashed out on a taxi to the concert hall.  Well, a splash for Tory, though she suspected Jane was getting used to chauffeured sedans.  She had a chance to eye the Vondelpark, one of Amsterdam’s few green spaces, as they drove by, and then stood gaping at the Concertgebouw while Jane paid the driver.  “Isn’t it supposed to be neoclassical?” Tory asked of the imposing building in front of them.
“Like I’d know neoclassical from – whatever.  Georgian?  Rococo?”  Jane answered.  One of the many things Tory loved about her sister was Jane’s fearlessness in admitting what she didn’t know.
“Well, I guess I don’t know, either.  But I didn’t expect so much brick.  Or the flourishes,” Tory explained.  They joined the well-behaved crowd moving into the main hall and found their excellent seats, settling into the red plush.  Tory gazed around in awe at the magnificent organ and ornately carved walls and ceiling.  “Oh, my goodness,” she whispered to Jane as a plump, older woman settled next to them.  “Isn’t it gorgeous?”
Still lost in the beauty of the elaborate balconies, Tory started when their neighbor spoke.  “You are the American nurse?” she asked, and Tory paused, then nodded hesitantly.  “My son, Max, told me he had shared his tickets with you.  It is too bad that he and his partner are both caught up in surgery – a construction site accident, with several people badly injured, I understand.  However, we are delighted to meet you.  Max was impressed with your cool head and kindness.”
Remembering what she’d read about the Dutch custom, Tory held out her hand and stated her name.  “Marijke van den Nie,” the other woman responded as they shook hands.  “Jane Bird, Mevrouw van den Nie,” Jane said in her turn, using the Dutch honorific for a married woman as the two shook hands across Tory.  “I’m Tory’s sister.”
“My companion is Juffrouw Christina de Groot,” Mevrouw van den Nie introduced, and Tory gazed past her with the beginnings of a smile.  She quickly withdrew both her smile and the hand she had extended when she encountered a cold, brief nod from an elegant, impeccably made-up blonde.  “How do you do,” she said, reverting to American protocol, then busied herself with the concert program to mask her surprise at the other woman’s hauteur.  However, Marijke van den Nie commented on the evening’s selections, and Tory enjoyed a brief, pleasant chat with her before the lights dimmed.
After a splendid program of Mahler, Brahms and a short burst from the contemporary composer Nico Muhly, Tory found herself outside once more, humming quietly along with the string section still playing in her head.  She gazed gratefully at Mevrouw van den Nie, extended her hand again and said, “Thank you so very much.  That was wonderful!”
“I enjoyed very much meeting you,” that lady replied.  “You were good to tell me something of Vermont.  I may not yet be a convert to your countryman Muhly’s music, but the New England country sounds lovely, a bit like the English Lake District.  Perhaps I’ll manage a visit one day.”
“Oh, do,” Tory replied, suddenly self-conscious at her dreaminess.
“Yes, do,” Jane added, recognizing her sister’s attack of shyness, “and perhaps work in a visit to the symphony in Boston, which is magnificent.  I confess I prefer Brahms to Muhly myself – though I hadn’t heard of him before today.  We would like to write to your son and thank him for his generosity if you could provide an address.”
“Surely there’s no need,” Juffrouw de Groot interjected, staring down her nose.  “We must get to the car.”
“This will only take a moment,” Mevrouw van den Nie responded, somewhat brusquely.  Her voice reverted to its usual warmth as she pulled a visiting card from her evening bag and handed it to Tory.  “Please write to him at my address, and I shall be certain he has your thanks.  He will be delighted to know you enjoyed the evening.”
“I had hoped to see Max this evening,” Juffrouw de Groot muttered, beginning to walk down the stairs of the Concergebouw.  After another round of handshakes, thanks and good-evenings, Mevrouw van den Nie followed.  Jane turned to Tory, smiling, and said, “Do you know, I think she snorted.  Or maybe I should say, ‘If she weren’t so elegant, I’d think she snorted.’”
“Snorted?” Tory asked, confused by Jane’s apparent non sequitor.
“I suspect your Mevrouw doesn’t much care for Miss de Groot,” Jane explained.  “And that’s not just because I didn’t like her myself.”
“I wonder if she’s the girlfriend,” Tory said.  “She looks like she’d fit nicely in a Rolls-Royce, and in the society page pictures from the big charity ball.”
“Well, it’s how you act that really matters,” Jane contended.  “Especially if you’re trying to raise money for charity.  Anyway, how do you know he’s not married?  They don’t always wear rings in these parts.  Here’s a cab for us.  Let’s get back to the hotel and get that thank-you note written.  We’ll just have time in the morning for a last stroll around the canals before we head for the airport.”


The next day, stretched out in the luxury of a business-class seat, Tory watched the clouds and ocean below her.  Voicing a thought aloud, she asked, “Jane, am I a prude?”
“Are you?” her seatmate answered.  “I wouldn’t have thought so.  Why are you asking?”
“I met a gorgeous man the other day, and I didn’t think about having wild sex with him in a hot tub or something, I thought about working in the garden together with our kids.  And now I’m imagining him sitting by the fireplace in Bristol, reading bits of a book aloud to me while I knit.  I mean, who does that?”
Jane laughed her warm, ready laugh.  “You do, little sister.  I heard enough of your randy heart-rendings over Rob Tucker in high school, and that snowboarder in college, and Dr. Dark Eyes during your practicals, to know you’re not a prude.  You’re a homebody and a nurturer and all kinds of other lovely things that will do you a lot more good in the long term than a hot and heavy sex life at 26 would do.”
          “Oh, no, that snowboarder!  I had forgotten about him.  At least my taste has improved!” Tory agonized, and picked up the airline magazine to puzzle through the quiz questions while Jane reviewed her meeting notes.  And if her thoughts turned rather too often to the blond Dutchman – he probably is married, she reflected – well, perhaps that’s just part of the fun of a vacation.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Economizing with Dearest Eulalia

Betty Anonymous on a timely post-holiday topic...


Did you ever have to economize, or, in other words, have to scrape and scrimp, cut down on expenses, lay out your money with a careful eye?

Economizing with Dearest Eulalia

I don’t know how many times I have read Dearest Eulalia.  I know I had always read things the way The Great Betty had meant them.  But this time my eyebrows shot up with mounting incredulity, in utter amazement, in total stupefaction... – What was that, dear little red pen?  You think I’m overdoing it?  Nah! – penlike Snort!

With something like nostalgia, I remember my days as a student, "far away" from home (about 480 km/300 miles). – Ok, I had worked at a place more than ten times that distance from home before but that was different. – Anyway, I always had enough money during those days but I tried to keep expenses down to a minimum so I could afford the train ride home during holidays, between semesters, or for the odd weekend.  (Hey, that’s almost like a Neels heroine!)  I bought a lot of my groceries at discount stores, back when discount stores did completely without frills or brand names.  The cheapest pasta, the cheapest cheese, the cheapest bread... You get the picture.

If only I had known, back then, that there was another way to save money on groceries, a way that would help me keep up appearances and eat like a king at the same time...

But then, the book I could have used as a guide would not be written for more than a decade.



Eulalia‘s Shopping List

Earl Grey
cheap tea bags
the finest coffee beans
tin of instant coffee
Cooper‘s marmalade














sugar
flour
Bath Olivers

















farm butter
butter substitute
Brie
Port Salut cheese
a few slices of the finest bacon
streaky bacon
lamb cutlets, a couple
chicken breast
lamb’s kidneys
minced beef
some sausages
potatoes
cabbage
celery
carrots
grapes

If this is what Eulalia buys when pay day is a week away and the housekeeping purse is almost empty, then I don’t want to see what’s on her shopping list on pay day and the days thereafter. In fact, I am no longer surprised their housekeeping purse is almost empty at this point.

"She frowned as she spoke; pay day was still a week away and the housekeeping purse was almost empty. The Colonel's pension was just enough to pay for the maintenance of the house and Jane's wages; her own wages paid for food and what Jane called keeping up appearances [...]

"'That's a mercy. Now, Miss Lally, you do your shopping; I'll hang out the washing—see if you can get a couple of those small lamb cutlets for the Colonel and a bit of steak for us—or mince. I'll make a casserole for us and a pie if there's enough...'

"Eulalia got her coat from the hall and fetched a basket and sat down at the table to count the contents of her purse.  A week to pay day so funds were low.

"'It had better be mince,' she said.  'It's cheaper.'  And then she added, 'I hate mince...'

"She looked up and saw that Jane was smiling — not at her but at someone behind her. Mr van der Leurs was standing in the doorway holding the coffee tray. 'Delicious coffee,' he observed, 'And I was delighted to meet the Colonel.'  [...]

"Mr van der Leurs, without appearing to do so, noted that she bought Earl Grey, the finest coffee beans, Bath Olivers, farm butter, Brie and Port Salut cheese, Cooper's marmalade and a few slices of the finest bacon; and, these bought, she added cheap tea bags, a tin of instant coffee, a butter substitute, sugar and flour and streaky bacon. It was the same at the butcher's, where she bought lamb cutlets, a chicken breast, lamb's kidneys and then minced beef and some sausages.  He hadn't gone into the shop with her but had stood outside, apparently studying the contents of the window.  At the greengrocer's he followed her in to take the basket while she bought potatoes and a cabbage, celery, carrots and a bunch of grapes.
 
"'We make our own bread,' said Eulalia, bypassing the baker.

"Mr van der Leurs, keeping his thoughts to himself, made light-hearted conversation as they returned to the house.  It was evident to him that living was on two levels in the Colonel's house, which made it a sensible reason for him to marry her as quickly as possible."

It is sooo sweet of Eulalia and Jane to scrape and scrimp just so that the Colonel won’t know how bad the state of their finances really is, to let him enjoy the creature comforts he is used to probably all his life.  I don’t know what I would have done in their stead.  I am very much afraid I would have been a bit more of a realist and would have introduced meals to the Colonel’s menu that would have been a little easier on the housekeeping kitty.