Thursday, January 16, 2014

Economizing with Dearest Eulalia

Betty Anonymous on a timely post-holiday topic...


Did you ever have to economize, or, in other words, have to scrape and scrimp, cut down on expenses, lay out your money with a careful eye?

Economizing with Dearest Eulalia

I don’t know how many times I have read Dearest Eulalia.  I know I had always read things the way The Great Betty had meant them.  But this time my eyebrows shot up with mounting incredulity, in utter amazement, in total stupefaction... – What was that, dear little red pen?  You think I’m overdoing it?  Nah! – penlike Snort!

With something like nostalgia, I remember my days as a student, "far away" from home (about 480 km/300 miles). – Ok, I had worked at a place more than ten times that distance from home before but that was different. – Anyway, I always had enough money during those days but I tried to keep expenses down to a minimum so I could afford the train ride home during holidays, between semesters, or for the odd weekend.  (Hey, that’s almost like a Neels heroine!)  I bought a lot of my groceries at discount stores, back when discount stores did completely without frills or brand names.  The cheapest pasta, the cheapest cheese, the cheapest bread... You get the picture.

If only I had known, back then, that there was another way to save money on groceries, a way that would help me keep up appearances and eat like a king at the same time...

But then, the book I could have used as a guide would not be written for more than a decade.



Eulalia‘s Shopping List

Earl Grey
cheap tea bags
the finest coffee beans
tin of instant coffee
Cooper‘s marmalade














sugar
flour
Bath Olivers

















farm butter
butter substitute
Brie
Port Salut cheese
a few slices of the finest bacon
streaky bacon
lamb cutlets, a couple
chicken breast
lamb’s kidneys
minced beef
some sausages
potatoes
cabbage
celery
carrots
grapes

If this is what Eulalia buys when pay day is a week away and the housekeeping purse is almost empty, then I don’t want to see what’s on her shopping list on pay day and the days thereafter. In fact, I am no longer surprised their housekeeping purse is almost empty at this point.

"She frowned as she spoke; pay day was still a week away and the housekeeping purse was almost empty. The Colonel's pension was just enough to pay for the maintenance of the house and Jane's wages; her own wages paid for food and what Jane called keeping up appearances [...]

"'That's a mercy. Now, Miss Lally, you do your shopping; I'll hang out the washing—see if you can get a couple of those small lamb cutlets for the Colonel and a bit of steak for us—or mince. I'll make a casserole for us and a pie if there's enough...'

"Eulalia got her coat from the hall and fetched a basket and sat down at the table to count the contents of her purse.  A week to pay day so funds were low.

"'It had better be mince,' she said.  'It's cheaper.'  And then she added, 'I hate mince...'

"She looked up and saw that Jane was smiling — not at her but at someone behind her. Mr van der Leurs was standing in the doorway holding the coffee tray. 'Delicious coffee,' he observed, 'And I was delighted to meet the Colonel.'  [...]

"Mr van der Leurs, without appearing to do so, noted that she bought Earl Grey, the finest coffee beans, Bath Olivers, farm butter, Brie and Port Salut cheese, Cooper's marmalade and a few slices of the finest bacon; and, these bought, she added cheap tea bags, a tin of instant coffee, a butter substitute, sugar and flour and streaky bacon. It was the same at the butcher's, where she bought lamb cutlets, a chicken breast, lamb's kidneys and then minced beef and some sausages.  He hadn't gone into the shop with her but had stood outside, apparently studying the contents of the window.  At the greengrocer's he followed her in to take the basket while she bought potatoes and a cabbage, celery, carrots and a bunch of grapes.
 
"'We make our own bread,' said Eulalia, bypassing the baker.

"Mr van der Leurs, keeping his thoughts to himself, made light-hearted conversation as they returned to the house.  It was evident to him that living was on two levels in the Colonel's house, which made it a sensible reason for him to marry her as quickly as possible."

It is sooo sweet of Eulalia and Jane to scrape and scrimp just so that the Colonel won’t know how bad the state of their finances really is, to let him enjoy the creature comforts he is used to probably all his life.  I don’t know what I would have done in their stead.  I am very much afraid I would have been a bit more of a realist and would have introduced meals to the Colonel’s menu that would have been a little easier on the housekeeping kitty.

 

Thursday, January 2, 2014

New Year's Resolution (a/k/a The Huge Roses, Ch1 pt1)

I will get back to work on my work-in-progress.  In a bid to push myself along, I plan to post an installment every two weeks or so, unless y'all beg me to stop.

THE HUGE ROSES (working title)
copyright 2014 by Betty van den Betsy; not for reprint or publication without permission


Chapter 1, part 1


Amsterdam, justly renowned for the beauty of its city center, is nonetheless a bit of a maze.  Tory stopped in a convenient ell to study her map.  After a not-very-edifying morning around Dam Square, she wanted a traditional Dutch pancake for her lunch, and had no interest in accidentally veering into the Red Light District on her way to the pannekoekhuis.  “If I’ve figured out how to pronounce it,” she muttered, tracing the swirling lines of the city’s spiderweb, “I should be able to get to it.”  She lifted her head, though, when an unexpected sound penetrated the bustle of the city – a shout for help?
Tory trotted toward the sound, and it came again as she reached a corner.  There, just ahead on the side street, were three or four people clustered around a man lying on the sidewalk.  She joined the group quickly, saying, “I’m a nurse.  Could I help?”
“Thank goodness,” one of the women standing by said with an English accent, as the man on the ground spoke up through clenched teeth.
“I only stepped off the curb, but my foot slipped oddly from under me, and my right leg’s quite painful.”  His pale face, lightly beaded with sweat, testified he was understating the case.
“Has anyone phoned for an ambulance?” Tory asked, kneeling by the stranger and beginning a gentle examination of his leg.  “It’s easier than you might think to break a bone just by twisting it while walking about.  And I’m afraid,” she added, skimming a hand lightly over the tell-tale protrusion, “that you’ve fractured your fibula.”
Her sidewalk patient grimaced while above them the Englishwoman cried, “Oh, Frank!”
“The ambulance?” Tory asked again.
“Perhaps I might assist?” a new voice interjected, in a deep rumble with just a hint of the mellifluous Dutch accent.  Tory glanced up – and up – a long way up!  The newcomer was strikingly tall, and strikingly handsome; and now he was kneeling on the other side of the injured man from her, speaking rapid Dutch into a cell phone.  While her hands automatically did the limited first aid appropriate, her eyes and brain registered fair hair shading to silver at the temples, pale blue eyes, determined chin, not-quite-Roman nose and full lips.  She blushed as she realized those lips were now directing a question to her, and those eyes had noticed her staring.
“You’re a doctor?” he asked.  “I am, as well; an orthopedist with a practice here in Amsterdam.”
Tory rushed to explain, “I’m just a nurse, doctor.  This gentleman seems to have a closed fracture of the fibula, with possible involvement of the tibia.  I think I’ve done all I can for first aid.”
“Surely there’s no such thing as ‘just’ a nurse, please,” the doctor replied.  “You and your colleagues are essential to the successful practice of medicine, and you’ve done well here.  I’ve contacted the hospital, and our ambulance will be along shortly.  How are you feeling now, sir?” he asked, turning to the patient.  “The technicians will be able to administer some pain relief.”
“Well, I’m very grateful for the diagnosis and the young lady’s help,” the Englishman answered.  “I admit I wouldn’t say no to some kind of painkiller, though.”  As he spoke, the sound of a siren neared, and people moved away to make room for the ambulance.  Tory stood and felt a hand on her elbow.  The Englishwoman who had spoken first had grabbed her.
“Thank you so much for helping my husband,” she said.  “Poor Frank!  My nursing skills don’t go beyond sticking on a plaster, and I know he was in a lot of pain, even if he was trying not to show it.  I didn’t want to make it worse!  Do you think he’ll be okay?”
“I’ve heard great things about the medical care in the Netherlands,” Tory answered.  “In fact, I think the medical school at Leiden was one of the first in the world.  Your husband should be fine here, and lower-leg breaks usually heal up thoroughly in a few months.”
“What a way to end a vacation!  I’m Valerie Bailey, by the way; and Frank and I are indebted to you.  Could I offer you dinner tonight as a thank-you?”
“Oh, no, I couldn’t take you away from your husband tonight.  He’ll probably need a minor surgical procedure, and maybe a night at the hospital.  And I barely did anything.”
“Well, let me know your name, at least.  Are you a tourist, like us?”
“Tory Bird.”  They shook hands.  “I’m here for just a few days, sightseeing.  Then I’ll head home to the U.S.”
“Isn’t it funny you’d be the one to help us?  We’ve been staying at the American Hotel, thinking it was an odd name for Amsterdam!  It’s lovely, though the Leidesplein is a bit bright.  But now here’s an American to help when we need it most.  Are you staying at the hotel, too?”  Valerie kept on chattily, keeping one eye – sometimes both – on the activity by the ambulance.
“I’m at the Pulitzer,” Tory answered.  “They put it together from something like twenty of the old town houses, and the place is like a jigsaw puzzle with funny corners and doorways and odd little hallways, two steps up, then jog left and turn sharp right for the elevator.  But it’s right on a canal, with the old-fashioned street lights.  It’s a gorgeous city, isn’t it?”  Tory figured some mindless social chat might help calm Mrs. Bailey’s jangled nerves.
“Oh, beautiful.  And so romantic.”  Valerie perked up as the doctor gestured to her.  “They’ve settled him, I think, so I suppose I’ll be off.  Thank you again for everything.”  Another handshake, and she was darting away to follow her husband’s recumbent form into the back of the ambulance.  Tory dusted herself off, slung her purse back onto her shoulder, and began to dig for the map she had stowed there.
“And my thanks to you also,” the doctor said, striding briskly toward her.  Tory willed herself not to stare, though from his fair hair to his broad shoulders to his powerful legs the man warranted a closer look.  “You showed fine presence of mind and kindness.”
“Good heavens, I scarcely did anything.”  She ducked her head, embarrassed by the praise, and by the rush of warmth it induced in her.
“But a kind word, a kind smile, and a light touch mean the world to someone in shock and pain.  Do you need directions, or transport?  Where are you headed?”
“Just off to lunch,” Tory chirped brightly.  “Pancakes.”
The giant’s pale eyebrows rose, then his lids dropped to hood the bright blue eyes.  His smile was charming.  “An excellent choice after unexpected exertion,” he said.  “If you follow this street to its end and turn left, you’ll quickly come to the Prinsengracht.  Turn right, and a few minutes’ walk will bring you to the Pancake Bakery – the best pancakes in Amsterdam.  I’d be delighted to escort you there, but I’m due at the hospital for a consultation.”
“No, no, quite all right of course,” Tory gushed.  “I’m really enjoying exploring your city.  All quite beautiful and enjoyable.”  How she wished for some of her sister’s savoir faire as she struggled not to babble.  “Thank you, doctor.”
“Maximillan van den Nie,” he said, extending a large hand.  Tory reached out her own, murmuring her name, and risked a glance up.  She smiled a good-bye, and he returned the gesture, thinking how delightfully her bright smile transformed a rather ordinary face.  Then she turned about and headed away, while Mr. van den Nie resumed his fast pace down the street, deep in contemplation of techniques for rehabilitating elderly knee-replacement patients.
Tory, moving in a more leisurely fashion, was likewise sunk into her thoughts, or rather her impressions of Mr. van den Nie’s deep voice, his strong hands, his thoughtfulness – and her own lack of social grace!  She shook her head to clear her mind and struck out more briskly.  It was no use worrying about what impression she might have made, or not made, on a man she’d never see again; better to focus on a plan for making the most of the Rijksmuseum in the limited time available that afternoon.


Stuffed with pancakes, 17th-century silver and Rembrandt, Tory strolled back to the hotel as evening settled over the canals and their gracefully arched bridges, peering into the well-lit, centuries-old houses for the ready views of warm, welcoming interiors.  After making her way up two flights and down three corridors to get to the hotel room, she flopped onto the bed on her back and lifted her feet toward the ceiling – a favorite posture for relaxing after being on her feet all day.
A brisk stride in the hallway alerted her that her sister was returning from a day of business meetings, and as the door opened she peered around her raised legs to smile at Jane, who dropped her briefcase and kicked off her shoes.
“Busy day?  Productive?” Tory asked as Jane flopped onto the bed beside her.
“Great, but now I’ve got tons of notes to sort through.  Three days and eleven investment prospects!  I think I’ve got two definites and three definitely-nots, but it’s the maybes – the ones I’m not sure about, one way or the other – that are always hardest.  How about you, lazybones?  Did you find some fun?”
“Dam Square and the Palace, pretty boring; french fries with curry mayonnaise, pretty greasy; gigantic pancake that flopped over the edges of a dinner plate with cheese and ginger, fabulously delicious, yummiest thing I’ve tasted in ages; and the Rijksmuseum is incredible.  I would love to go back if you want to take a look tomorrow,” Tory reported.
“Absolutely,” Jane confirmed.  “I’ve seen ‘The Night Watch’ but I’d see it again and again, and I’m sure there’s lots more to explore there.  So did you like the Rijksmuseum better than the van Gogh?”
“Silly question, Jane.  They’re too different.  How nice we live in a world where we get both.  A world where we have high-powered, glamorous, urban businesswomen and mild-mannered, mousy, country nurses.  Oh,” Tory added, raising her arms against the pillow Jane swung toward her head, “I helped out an English tourist who broke his leg.”
“Broke his leg?  Here in the city?”
“One of these cobbled side streets, and he caught his foot in a tiny pothole and twisted the leg as he went down.  Very nasty way to end your vacation, I must say,” Tory clarified.
“You didn’t have to do much, did you?  No splinting?  Open break or closed?” Jane asked.
“Don’t turn into Dr. Jane on me, now.  Basically just gave him a hanky, identified the injury, and waited for the ambulance.  And not even much of that,” Tory admitted, “since a big Dutch doctor came along and took over just before the ambulance got there.”
“A big Dutch doctor?  Is that a new specialization?  They don’t run to fat much here,” Jane noted.
“Not fat,” Tory said.  “Tall.  Very tall, and broad, and blond, and actually quite – I don’t know – hunky? – in a well-dressed, low-key way.”
“Well, well, well.”  Jane leapt up and began pulling off her dark wool suit.  “You’ll tell me more about him over the rijsttafel.  Let’s get going soon, though, because I missed lunch and must have my dinner.  You’ve got first dibs on the bathroom.”
Tory flipped upright and walked into the luxuriously-equipped bathroom, peering at her reflection in the well-lit mirror.  The familiar face peered back, not magically transformed, still soft outlines of rounded cheeks, a slightly snub nose, unremarkable mouth.  Her skin shone with youth and health, and her large, wide-set eyes were an unusually deep green, “But who ever gets close enough to look?” she muttered, pulling a brush through her mouse-brown hair.
“What’s that?” Jane called from her foray through the closet in the next room.
“Just wishing I had cheekbones,” Tory called back, clipping her thick ponytail into a barrette.
“Three shades of foundation and two of blusher, and you’ve got cheekbones,” Jane announced, taking control of the sink and mirror with a thrust of her hip.  She had changed into slacks and a thick, cowl-necked cashmere sweater.  “You’ll want a warmer jacket, I think.  It was getting a bit brisk as I came back.”
Easy to joke, Tory thought as she dug into their shared closet, when you’ve got cheekbones that would slice a tomato, and auburn hair most women dye for, “and you’re tall enough to reach the back of this shelf!” she finished at a quiet roar.
“Oh, dear,” Jane commiserated, reaching over her literally-little sister’s head, “someone needs a good meal with plenty of protein, and a bit of perspective.  If you’re not careful, I’ll ask Dr. Bachman to send you to work in a burn ward for a few months.  Is this what you want?” she asked, handing over the chunky Nordic-patterned sweater Tory had knit herself the previous winter.
“Thank you, big sis.  Let’s get going; you’re right about the protein – though what’s really going to pick me up is a spicy peanut sauce.”
As they left the hotel, Jane asked casually, “So, I thought you were enjoying your visit here.  What’s got you needing a peanut-sauce picking up?”
“Nothing, really.  I’m loving the time off, and believe it or not I’m enjoying city living for a few days, especially in this particular city.  It’s great.  I guess I got a little down talking about that doctor, and thinking about how I decided to do my nursing degree instead of going off to medical school, and not being a sparkling, fascinating woman of mystery that tall blond men would follow down the street.”
“Well, I don’t know whether this helps at all,” Jane replied, “but I think all of us have moments like that.  I mean, here I am, 34 years old and heart-whole, living a fast-paced, overpaid, high-stress life in investment management when I trained to be a doctor to help and heal.  I’ve got a swank apartment and expensive clothes, but when I think of the life you lead in Bristol, and the warmth and kindness of the community you have there, a lot of what I’ve got and what I do seems pretty hollow.”
“Oh, my goodness!” Tory exclaimed.  “Jane, you’re so good.  You’re such a great sister, and you’re so good at your job, and that socially-responsible investing thing is going to change the world, and – yikes, look!  Don’t look!”  Tory paused for a breath, then hissed, “Just stop here, stay casual.  Look at the canal.  Now look just on the other side of the bridge, that gray car pointing toward us.  I’m pretty sure that’s Dr. den ver Nie, or whatever his name was, driving.”
“They do have long names, don’t they?”  Jane answered, pointing at nothing as her part in the charade.  “That’s a Rolls-Royce, by the way.  The Phantom.  A little roomier, and less pricey, than the Coupé, but still a very rich man’s automobile.”  She dropped her hand as the car eased toward them.  “And I see what you mean about the driver.  Even without the car for background, that’s a handsome man.”
“Well, that’s my Amsterdam adventure, then.  Helping an Englishman and stammering stupidly at a millionaire Dutch doctor.  Let’s get at that peanut sauce now, and on the way back to the hotel we can peer in people’s windows.  I love that they leave the curtains open.  I saw one room today, honestly in a 17th-century house or whatever, that had dark purple walls with pale purple trim and wide, random slashes of turquoise.  Apparently someone got tired of lace curtains and dark wood and Delft pottery on the mantelpiece, glowing discreetly in a beam of filtered light.”
Jane laughed and threw an arm around her sister as they set off again.  At the restaurant, Tory actually forgot Maximillan van den Nie in the novelty of the Indonesian buffet set down on their table, with its two-bite tastes of twenty different dishes to serve over rice.  She and Jane laughed and talked their way through the various offerings, celebrating their pleasure in each other’s company, and the fun of trying something new, and the beauty of the Netherlands’s capital city.  As they sat over tea after the meal, both quiet for once, Tory reflected on her great fortune in having such a strong friendship with her big sister, despite the eight-year age difference, and the very different lives the two of them live.  “And then there’s the twins,” she said, half-aloud.
“What’s that?” Jane asked.
“I was just thinking about the twins,” Tory answered.  “I’m going to bring them some gouda.”
“Well, that sounds lovely,” Jane answered, smiling.  “You’re such a genuinely nice person.”
“I was brought up right,” Tory teased – Jane having been responsible for much of her upbringing, while their learned parents had focused on academic research, teaching and frequent travel.  “Let’s head back, shall we?  I’m still fighting the adjustment from New Hampshire time.  And thanks for the compliment!”
Just for a moment, walking back in the crisp, fresh air, watching the moonlight gild the water of the canals, enjoying the almost lacey delicacy of the arched bridges, Tory’s mind flashed up a memory of Dr. van den Nie’s smile.  It is a romantic place, she thought, remembering Valerie Bailey’s words, and hooked an arm through her sister’s, drawing her close.  The two of them strolled contentedly, looking forward to a Saturday exploring together.  And not too far away, the big Dutch doctor, checking Frank Bailey’s altogether satisfactory chart, gave a moment’s thought to the quietly competent young American nurse.  Lovely eyes, he recalled, and nothing fussy about her.

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Betty in the Wild: Meet Me at the St. Louis Zoo

St. Louis has one of the premier zoos in the world, and it's free to all.  Amazing.

This statue might seem vulgar at a Somerset estate or Den Haag mansion, but a heffalunk with a late-October celebratory punkin on its head is just the right welcoming touch for a zoo.

Nothing is more relaxing for a convalescent aunt then a peaceful afternoon gazing at ephelumps.

Margaret is not a hyena.

Cats don't get a lot of type-space in Grasp a Nettle, but you know Jenny cares about them.  And these cats can keep up with Eduard's Great Dane.

Sightseeing, as we all know, is exhausting, and requires a reservation for tea at The London Tea Room.  While not quite Fortnum's, it has a massive selection of teas, with a Betty-worthy literary quality to the menu.  As a for-instance, this is their menu listing for their grilled cheese sandwich:  "The Grilled 3-Cheese Sandwich - Sharp English cheddar, Swiss and chèvre cheeses cross international boundaries and melt unilaterally with caramelized onions on Pugliese bread. One frightening step closer to the New World Order and/or heartburn."  Ha ha!

Jenny would not approve my choice of Jasmine Dragon Tears green tea, but she'd be able to pick a more traditional blend, like maybe Queen of Hearts -- certainly not Naughty Vicar!

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Betty in the Wild: Not Everything is Up-to-Date in Kansas City

For instance, the steamship 'Arabia,' which sank in the mighty Missouri River in 1856.  Just three years old at the time of the wreck, the Arabia was pretty high end for her time.  However, no boat of those days was a match for the Big Muddy; the ships that survived were just luckier than the ones that went down.  The river was famously described as, "too thick to drink; too thin to plow," and less famously, its course could alter by as much as a mile in a single day.  In other words, one could cut engines, paddlewheels, oars or whatever and drop anchor in one place in the evening, and be a mile west or east of that by morning.  Since the steamships of the day were powered by burning wood, sailors cut down trees all along the shifting banks, which created erosion, which sent tremendous tree trunks and root systems into the thick and mobile riverbed.  Those downed limbs, trunks and roots became 'snags' that could stove in a wooden hull without warning.  That's what happened to the Arabia.  Everyone managed to debark in darkening evening, but most of the luggage and all the cargo, and one unfortunate mule (kind of like a donkey, Betty) were left aboard, and all had vanished into the water and mud by morning.

Over a century later, an intrepid family managed to locate the deeply-buried ship with the help of friends, and dig it up between harvest and planting seasons.  They've put most of what they found on display in a museum in Kansas City, Missouri.  Their story is quite a bit more interesting than the Arabia's.

The paddle wheel.  Sarah Ann and Hugo will surely go on a cruise someday.

The hapless anchor.  Hugo is Sarah Ann's anchor.

A portion of the snag that wrecked the Arabia.  Sarah Ann and Hugo encounter several less literal.

The reconstructed hull of the Arabia.  Doesn't Sarah Ann feel rudderless at points?

They've recovered 200 tons of cargo from the ship, much of which is on display.  It's mostly mid-priced housewares and farming and hunting tools.

Hardware.  Is that Alice's department?

China, mostly, and not Delft.

Boots, etc., for use in the Highlands.  Or frontier.  Whatever.


The more up-to-date parts of KC include a delightful New Orleans-style cafe called Beignet, a happy dog at a sidewalk table, and the super-wonderful chocolatier Christopher Elbow.

New Orleans is strongly influenced by French culture; the van Elvens visit France.
Non-stray dog who seconds before I snapped this photo was all over me.  As soon as his human companion returned to luncheon, however, Pup was done with me.  Obviously loved and well-cared-for, otherwise I'd have thrown him in the car and brought him 3,000 miles and eventually home with me.  Like almost all dogs, he was a sweetie.

Inspired, no doubt, at least in part by Dutch confectionary, KC favorite son Christopher Elbow is one of the world's most acclaimed chocolatiers.  The woman working the register (my tab was over $150!!  Lots of gifts for friends and hosts!  Plus a hot chocolate for me.  And a few choccies for me.) was born near Detroit to Canadian parents, moved as an adult to Washington, DC and then to Los Angeles, and settled a few years ago in Kansas City.  She loves it.



Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Quick Quiz - Yay Betty AnoninTX; Hints Added for #3

Courtesy of my English brother-in-law, who seems to have dug into the oeuvre.  Please, no web-searches for book quotes; just answer as best you can from your standing knowledge of the World of Betty:

#1)  In which Betty does our plucky heroine consider "Michael Caine and Kojak" (!?!?) the pinnacles of masculinity?
WINNER:  Betty AnoninTX!  Expect a prize from Fortnum and Mason to arrive soon, assuming you've ordered yourself a Christmas present therefrom.

#1a)  Whom do you consider to be the pinnacles of masculinity?




#2)  In which Betty does our plucky heroine get covered in chips (french fried potatoes)?
WINNER:  Betty AnoninTX!  Ditto on the F&M.


 #2a)  What is the most distressing thing in which you, or your favorite hero or heroine, have ever been covered?














#3)  In which Betty does our plucky heroine own a dog named Rough?
HINTS:  Our plucky heroine gains Rough as part of her MOC.  There is no celebration of Christmas in the book.  The title is poetic.

#3a)  Have you ever accidentally named a dog something you couldn't shout easily when s/he escaped the lead whilst gamboling in the park?

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Betty in the Wild: OOOOOOklahoma (and a bit more Texas)

After a lovely Lubbock visit, the Betties and I hit the road once more, heading east and north through Texas.  As previously noted, we saw classic ranch entrances whilst we traveled toward and through the panhandle.

Not Jenny's ancestral estate

Throughout the mid-section of the United States, I have been struck by the beauty of the grasslands.  The long, multi-colored grasses glimmer in the sunlight, unlike the not-quite-so-long, pretty-much-just-green grass of my front yard.

Not the conventional floral beauty of Madeira and the Canaries,
but Texas nonetheless offers some pretty awesome scenery.

I had never been in Oklahoma before!  As per, I loved it.  Big, broad, beautiful landscapes every which where, except in Oklahoma City, which seemed to stretch about 30 miles.

Not Jenny's ancestral home farm.

Not Jenny's ancestral autumnal hill.

Wichita Mountains Wildlife Refuge in Oklahoma is helping to preserve not only prairie dogs and bison, but also longhorn cattle.  It's gorgeous and has great hiking trails.

Oh, give me a home...  where the winds go sweeping down the plains...

Fuzzy!  Wuzzy!  I should have put Tishy and Jason in this
photo, so they could save George from goring.  Bison
run fast.




Monday, December 2, 2013

The Final Touch - Reprise

It's been 2 1/2 years since Betty Keira and I finished reviewing all the books in the canon.

The first time.  

Nine hundred and fifty days ago.  

It's been fourteen hundred forty three days from the very first post.  Nearly four years.  

The Founding Bettys never imagined that their secret love of all things Neels was shared by anyone else...or at least by anyone else willing to admit it. Our Uncrushable Manifesto  was simple...
"Our original goals were modest. Review all the Betty books and enjoy ourselves and try not to talk about it too much in front of our not-yet-Betty sisters. Maybe, just maybe, our signal fire on the beach would catch a stray visitor but we knew better than reach for the moon. After all, this was a blog about Betty. And nobody we knew ever read Betty. And even if they did...would they know how to use 'computer'?"
Well, our signal fire has grown to 1,494 published posts (yes, I checked) and well over half a million page views (over 579,277 according to the stats on Blogger). That's a lot more action than we ever anticipated when we began. 

The Uncrushable Jersey Dress hasn't been the only thing The Founding Bettys have been involved in during this time:  


Betty Keira's family has grown...in both size and number.

Betty Keira's family at the very beginning of our blog...

...and at the end (well, she still has a husband, evidently he was taking the picture here).


My family has had its share of milestones: 1 child graduated from high school, 2 kids returned from missions, 2 kids graduated from college, 2 kids got married, one grandchild was born, and we've been on about a million road trips/vacations.
Grandson Henry meets his Uncle Alex for the first time.
The van der Stevejinck family has driven countless miles...(COUNTLESS!!!) on their many road trips...
It's been a ride.  Now it's time to pull the great socking Betty Bentley into a lay-by and take a bit of a breather.  

Betty Keira and I won't be abandoning this blog completely - feel free to make comments on old posts, take Betty in the Wild pictures (and email them to us), send recommendations for Betty-approved Life After Betty suggestions (non-Neels authors/books), Cinema Betty suggestions or whatever else floats your boat.

Plus, for those inclined, there is always Facebook.

It's been our sincere pleasure sharing our love of The Great Betty with our fellow Bettys.  Thank you so much for participating.  

Love and lardy cakes,
The Founding Bettys

p.s. I hope you enjoy The Final Touch.  It's a lovely little book to finish up with.

Even Bono feels it: 'And the last Betty read, 
yeah, sounds the clanging chimes of doom...'
 Have you felt the gnarled, chilly hand of disaster reaching out to you in the dark watches of the night?  Have you strode quickly past dead-end alleyways, fleeing from the dread that dare not speak its name?  Have you caught yourself staring into the sun hoping, always hoping, to bring back those carefree hours of days gone by when this vague menace wasn't annexing room after room of your fevered brain?  Me too.  We're done, Bettys.  The Final Touch really is the final touch and when I had finally turned the last of some 13,000 pages I've read this last year I was genuinely sad.  (Not that I haven't rehearsed the ticker tape parade of The End of Days but I did not expect to feel that Tom Hanks-ian Brain Cloud.)  But that was a week ago and I still have a review to write!  Let's gird up our loins, adjust the C-cups and get on with it.

Professor Tyco van der Brons, 39, does not work in the Path Lab.  So why is he staring with microscopic intensity at the mousy English nurse?  He knows her history--hasn't it been hospital grapevine fodder for weeks now?  She found a job here in Holland on the recommendation of Cor van Kamp (a worthless young scalp-collector) and, with a trusting instinct no more developed than a babe newly born, she built high hopes on the lines he fed her.  Tyco sees all this but his own troubled romantic history lends him an extra-sensory perception.  Though he is a lofty professor/consultant of 39, he sees that Nurse Charity Pearson , 23, is about to have a similar romantic fall.  Moreover, he seems to know that she won't be able to brush it off like other girls her age.  He doesn't love her but he, nevertheless, knows that she's JUST. LIKE. HIM.     
Charity is heartsick--not just to be on the receiving end of pitying glances and bracing smiles, but genuinely torn up that Cor proves himself to be so unworthy of her, by this time, unwilling regard--and accepts the Professor's brotherly hand of friendship with happy relief.  Still, Cor is becoming a growing problem.  He's like a barnacle that has attached itself to her hull and won't shake itself loose.  She's convinced that an extended stay at a maritime museum dry docks is just what the doctor ordered--barnacles will be scraped and no new ones will have a chance to try their cement glands on her at all.  
My side-arm is in my other pants...
As he pesters her on the ward and brushes her hand or squeezes her shoulder, Cor is revealed as that most tiresome kind of man--the kind poisoning the water wells as he moseys into the sunset.  Thank heavens Tyco is handy with six-shooters and side-winders.  Charity is moved to the burn unit...headed by the Rootin'est Tootin'est Gun in the Holland.  
Tyco already knows that Charity has self-control, dignity, a fine work ethic, empathy toward the disfigured and a willingness to throw her punches straight from the shoulder but he also has occasion to learn that she's an Urban Supergirl.  Rushing into a burning row house she saves the life of an infant and a toddler, receiving some burns on the backs of her hands herself (which, btw, seems like a funny place to get them unless you're holding a baby and pushing open a door with the exposed part of your hand).  Tyco discovers her in shock sitting on her bed in the nurse's home, treats her and (I think) decides then and there to sometime soon offer her a marriage of convenience.  Why else would he lay bare the sordid history of his philandering first wife?  He establishes himself as a fellow sufferer of love's outrageous fortune, gets to tell her about his marital status...and the kids.
Oh, have I not mentioned them?  Letizia and Teile (First wives--for that matter, all wives--in Neelsland are Fertile Myrtles) are two precocious 10-year-old twins brought up by their soon-to-be-leaving governess, Miss Bloom--a velvet hand in the steel glove. They like Charity right away (which Tyco observes with relief) and press her to visit them again.  (She's there for tea.)  Not very long after, she makes the amazing discovery that Cor no longer matters.  
Hard on the heels of that is Tyco's proposal.  Only believe me when I say I have a great regard for you and believe that we could be happy as a family. He proposed for the sake of the girls, of course.  That, and the cold fact that she doesn't excite him.  Why else?  Not even Tyco could answer that one.
There's Newly Married and then there's Snuggie Married
So they marry.  The little girls are outfitted in matching dresses and Charity is wearing a new hat and patent leather shoes.  The ink isn't try on the wedding license before Mijnheer and Mevrouw van der Brons have commandeered two fire-place adjacent wing-back chairs that, though it illustrates a different scene, reminds me forcibly of the words 'And Ma in her Kerchief and I in my Cap had just settled down to a long Winter's nap'.  As Sheryl Crow might say, 'This ain't no disco.'  But he reads his papers and she knits jumpers for the girls and, no doubt, he is congratulating himself on a task well-managed.
Until he falls in love with her.  He thought he knew what she was like--and he did know on some cerebral level that she was loyal, brave, plucky...But living with her is something else entirely and maybe he remembers that first, wretched marriage (that was never any sort of marriage at all) contrasted with the quiet pleasure now of coming home to his family and his feelings become quite jumbled.  Suddenly it matters awfully that anyone would ever hurt someone as wonderful as Charity and maybe it matters, too, that he's so much older than she is and...As you can tell, Tyco is on his beam ends.
But Charity is still wandering flashlight-less in a Dark Romantic Fog and might still be if not for the untimely appearance of Eunice, who, is probably as flat-chested as her name indicates.  She is Charity's step-sister and your average, run-of-the mill fashion model come to play tennis.  (Not tennis?  Then why is her back-hand so good?)
I love this part because it could really have gone off the rails but doesn't.  
Charity had the exterminator on speed dial.
  • Eunice invites herself to the townhouse.  (I'm reminded of those Orkin commercials where the life-sized bug wants to use the phone as a pretext to home invasion.)
  • Charity lies to her face and tells her she has to leave at the end of the week.  (Birthday party. Loads of family.  Don't let the door hit you on the rear on your way out.)
  • Tyco backs Charity up to the hilt (Which is a welcome relief from all those RDDs who think out of a mistaken sense of honor that one mustn't dislodge a guest under circumstances short of burning the house down--which, come to think of it, Charity might have been willing to do.), making the most of his opportunities by ramping up the endearments.
  • One of the girls gets sick on the very night that Tyco promised to take Flat-chested Eunice out to dinner. A minor spat ensues and then, later that night as Charity lurks in the shadows, Tyco KISSES Eunice...or she pretends to.
Happily, Charity doesn't have to resort to burning down the house.  Though Eunice was to leave the following afternoon, she tells her to get the $^%$  out of her #@!$#  house and not to darken her *@#;*!@ -- ;#@@#^  door ever again.  (Think of a Samuel L. "Bleep-Bleep" Jackson-Snakes-on-a-Plane freak out.)
Tyco and Charity have another spat (pretty minor stuff) where they are more than willing to meet each other half-way (but not at the same time) and it is just too bad that when Tyco leans forward to deliver an affectionate kiss Charity steps away.  Don't do that.  I can't bear it.  
A mini ice age develops on their front doorstep.
Later the next day, Charity is trotting down the hospital corridor on her way from having tea with the SNO and probably feeling less the Grand Married Lady than she ever has, when Cor oozes out from under the nearest rock.  Though he attempts to break her composure, she sweeps past him in a gesture that reminds me of when the mad-cap Sister Maria returns from her honeymoon with The Captain and he has to sing Edelweiss in front of everybody and she moves to his side, picking up the threads of his lost melody and beckons with all the confidence of a happily married woman to her children to join them.  
Tyco sees them, however and missed the subtleties of her confident gesture and accuses her of "meetings".  She fights back the only way she knows how; by reaching up on her tippy-toes and kissing his chin.
He chases her down, bundles her into the car, gets her nice and alone and kisses her back.
The End


Rating:  Queen of Puddings.  I really like this book and maybe it doesn't deserve this high a rating but my Wistful-O-Meter (see right) over the end of reviews has been hovering around Anne Murray and threatening any moment to enter the hitherto uncharted Don McLean reaches so I'm giving myself some artistic license on this one.
I have a theory about books--that any one of them can find a comparable Jane Austin equivalent.  So, The Final Touch is not sparkling like Pride and Prejudice but quietly romantic like Persuasion.  Charity has such a raw deal and Tyco expects so little happiness in life that, even though they're not riding many emotional roller-coasters, you're rooting for them to make a happy family.  I'm never tempted to get irritated with Charity for that I-shall-never-love-again business because her hurt and humiliation are just so fresh.  Tyco is forgiven for it because his first at-bat was a fiasco of Homeric proportions.
Letizia and Teile are darlings.  I love the part where they make doll houses out of old boxes with Charity.
I enjoy all the hospital set-up in this one too.  You really get a sense of the enormous social chasm that ought to have separated them (underlined vividly when Charity returns after her marriage to have tea with the senior nursing officer) but doesn't because, at heart, they are cut from the same cloth.
Eunice is an interesting distraction and, happily, Tyco isn't terribly good at dangling her in Charity's face (for that matter, Charity is being rather obstinate about her motherly duties), even going so far as to compliment Charity for her ability to lie like a trooper just to toss her sister to the curb.    

Food: Groentensoup, zeetong (sole), spekpannenkoeken with stroop, kerstkrans (a ring-shaped Christmas cake), poulet a l'estragon, pumpkin souffle, biscuit glace with fresh raspberries, wedding cake, little mushroom pancakes, and vichyssoise (just saying it makes my IQ jump ten points).

Fashion: Charity owns a soft, grey jersey dress which sounds suspiciously mouse-like, a burned coat gets replaced with a dark green winter coat and she buys a cranberry needlecord that carries her through upsetting social occasions like getting proposed to.  She has to talk the girls out of satin and yards of lace and a pearl-embroidered veil and satin slippers and long white gloves and into the considerably less romantic wool coat, hat and patent leather shoes (If Kate Middleton shows up in these tomorrow I lay odds that the monarchy could cock its toes up.).  She totters around on high heels for the girls and owns a gorgeous sapphire dress.  Sister Eunice swans around in fashions that probably reached their sell-by date before the book hit the publishers.