As for the House of van Voorhees, we have weathered our own rough waters. Here I lamely relate The Short Happy History of the Lovers van Voorhees:
- First we rented. A boys' apartment in Utah. Our college campus and off-campus housing was segregated by sex and when students go home at the end of winter term, desperate newly married couples can assume occupancy of the vacant apartments. Believe me when I say it smelled of boy. Our dish-washer was the kind that you had to roll over to the sink and hook up to the faucet.
- Second was a semi-basement--the stuff of Meg's nightmares. Utah gets scorching hot in the summers so I was perfectly content to have a cool concrete wall to spoon at nights. Our dishwasher was the kind where you stood at the sink and scrubbed them yourself.
- Third was the Recent College Grad apartment. The dishwasher didn't move. Hurray!
- Fourth. Our starter home. Choosing it nearly tore the Lovers van Voorhees asunder. We discovered that here are two things the van Voorhees' don't do comfortably: Naming children and buying homes. But finally we found it. The most charming aspect of Colonial homes is that you might have a five foot window directly in front of the master-bedroom loo to provide for continuity and symmetry on the outside. No cunningly tucked away bathrooms behind wooden panels here. The motto of that home was, "Mind that the blinds are down."
It, too, is a Colonial and we've spent the last three years eradicating every sign that the free-spirited former owners were ever here. Orange and purple elementary-school-tile floors, 9 electric colors on the first floor alone...Even now that we've covered the floors I still feel them menacing me like an ancient Indian burial ground. Heroine Meg with her cunning use of wallpaper and paint would be hard-pressed to make a silk purse out of this sow's ear.
But then, Meg didn't have Betty Debbie...
My question is: What are your adventures in real estate?