Caroline's Waterloo - 1980

I've been saving up for this one all year. It's no secret that I love Caroline's Waterloo. Love it. Love. It. It's like Betty Neels knew me and knew just what I'd like to read. The book starts out in October (my favorite month) and it was published the same year Dr. van der Stevejink and I exchanged vows. Which means that I got married the same year as the fictional Caroline. Let's not forget one of my favorite ABBA songs. I'll apologize right up front for the review. There's just no way I'll be able to do justice to this fabulous book.

Caroline Tripp is an orphan. She's just about the orphaniest orphan ever. She lives close to the hospital in a dreary little bedsitter with her cat, Waterloo. She's a plain little thing...but friendly. Friendly enough to make up the numbers for a group of nurses going on a camping/bicycling tour of Friesland. For some reason four is a better number than three. She's so nice that besides going along with the other nurses, she's also swotted up a few fun facts about Friesland. She's a fount of information on gross national products, agriculture and items of historical interest.

One of the other girls must have been in charge of the itinerary/route, because they're lost. Night is falling and they are in the middle of nowhere. In spite of the loneliness of the landscape, the girls manage to get in a four bike pile-up, in front of the only house in the neighborhood. Caroline comes off worst, she's got a gash in her leg and a she's hit her head on a milestone and gotten concussed. Editor's Note: Had she been wearing a bike helmet, we might not have had a story.... Her vision might be fuzzy, but one thing comes in crystal clear - a large man with a harsh voice sounds very grumpy about his home being invaded by a gaggle of girls. He orders his man Noakes to take the injured party into the surgery with a sigh...and I fall in love with Caroline when she asks for a needle and thread so that she can stitch it up herself. Stacy, Miriam and Clare soon leave the helpless victim - they're due back at hospital and Caro is left alone with Baron Professor Radinck Thoe van Erckelens (or is that Professor Baron??). Well, not quite alone. Huis Thoe is fully furnished with faithful retainers, chief amongst them, the redoubtable Noakes. Noakes is an ex-pat who is married to the cook, Marta. Juffrouw Kropp, the housekeeper, three maids, Old Jan and Young Willem, help round out the menage. Why am I listing the household help? Without them, the story would end much more quickly, and much less satisfactorily.

Like Napoleon imprisoned on the isle of Elba, Radinck has fallen into a state of weenie hermitness. Caro learns from Noakes that the Professor was married in 1966 (13 years ago) - the young baroness left him two years later - ran off with another man then they both died in a plane crash (per usual). When the Professor asks Caro if she's lonely, she can see that really, he's the truly lonely one (well, he would be, isolated on Elba...).

Radinck leaves to go on a lecture tour - he'll be gone right up to the day before Caro is supposed to be healed enough to leave. The staff at Huis Thoe go out of their way to spoil her, a girl who has never been spoiled in her life. Caro reciprocates by offering to teach them Christmas carols - in an effort to bring a little cheer to the Professor. The days pass quickly...learning Dutch words with the help of Juffrouw Kropp, taking walks with Rex, the Old English sheepdog, and playing piano in the servants quarters. Which is where the Professor catches her. 'If I had come home earlier I should have found you playing gin rummy in the cellars'. Not true, says she. We were playing canasta in the kitchen.
Back in London, Caro enters what she has, misleadingly to the Professor, called her 'flat'. There was a cruel contrast between her bedsitter and Huis Thoe. Instead of a staff of retainers anxious to please, she's just got Waterloo. When she checks in at the hospital to see her work schedule, she is informed that the Professor has written and suggested that she have a few more days off. Caro spends the time cleaning her bedsit, reading and talking to Waterloo. It's only a matter of a week or so, while frying up some sausages, that she gets to thinking about the poor, lonely Professor. It was a pity he couldn't find some beautiful girl exactly suited to him, fall in love and get married...Me! I want that girl to be Me!!! So what if she's burnt her sausages, she's in love...and that's just about the stupidest thing she's ever done. She doesn't stand a chance with him. She should have fallen in love with someone insignificant. Someone just ambitious enough to wish to buy his own semi-detached in a suburb. Hard on that thought is the thought that she's just sure that someone like that would not be a kindred spirit.
Imagine her surprise when the Professor walks into her office a couple of weeks later. 'Ha! You are surprised to see me!' It seems he's escaped from Elba and is now preparing to engage the enemy. At least, he's preparing to get engaged. With nary a preamble, Caroline is treated to a bald-faced proposal. She may as well check her pulse and her temperature - surely this is some sort of fevered dream? No, the Professor is standing there, larger than life, and he now presents his case. It's not that he loves her...on the contrary, you have no looks, no witty conversation, quite deplorable clothes, but dang it if all of his staff and even the dog and cats are moping around the house since she left. He doesn't even wish to love her, but he would like to have her around.

Her: What you want is a sheet anchor. No demands, no curiosity, just someone to talk to when you feel inclined.

Him: Yes! And above all, no romantic nonsense!

Her: I'll think about it.

Him: What is there to think about? It's not like you're going to get any better offers.

Her: I'll let you know my decision tomorrow.
Of course she's going to say yes, but she's already planning a little strategy. He's obviously used to getting his own way. She's going to change him. Caroline is the Duke of Wellington, preparing to go to battle with Napoleon Radinck. The wedding takes place about a week later, and now it's back to Huis Thoe and the crowds of adoring servants and animals.

The Baroness (that would be Caroline)draws up her battle plans that first night back in Holland. First, she's going to get him to smile more. Next, as with all good cavalry units, she's going to learn how to ride a horse. She also plans to kill him with cheerfulness and an uncomplaining nature. Progress is slow at first, but she is gradually able to tick off a few modest successes.

Significant Battles:

The Battle of Tinker's Donkey. The Baroness of Wellington is rewarded with a genuine smile after rescuing a pregnant donkey from abuse.

The Equestrian Conflict. After Napoleon Radinck catches Caro having riding lessons, he gives her an invitation to go riding with him each morning.

The Massacre of Hidden Handkerchief. Queenie the Rescued Donkey foals in the wee hours of the morning...Radinck gives his jacket to Caro - who finds a woman's hanky in the pocket. Is there another woman? Will it be a complete rout? No, it's a swoop and a kiss!

The Burgermeester's Reception. Low cut gown? Check. Family jewels? Check. Dances like a dream? Check. Apparent stalemate? Check.

Of course every war includes its share of trial and hardship. This one is no different. Caroline wishes she would get the flu or something so that she wouldn't have to go to all the social engagements... Radinck tells her that she will do nothing of the sort. Ha! Even Radinck isn't strong enough to prevent viral infections. Caroline might be sick, but it's Radinck who's weakening. Weakening enough to kiss her on the cheek when he thinks she's asleep. Caroline does think it was a dream, until he kisses her on the cheek as he's leaving to go to Vienna. The wheels in her military mind start turning...there is a chink in Napoleon Radincks armour and she is going to exploit it.
Heavy Artillery. Cannons are brought out and volleys exchanged. A car crash right at their gates brings a beautiful young woman into the conflict and muddies the waters. Napoleon Radinck drives her to her home far away and implies that he stayed the night at her place. He admits to confusion of mind about Caroline. Becky Raukema van den Eck (British spy and cross-over character) is able to tell Caroline that Radinck did NOT spend the night with the beautiful young woman.

Peace Negotiations. A kiss. Flowers. A brand new piece of jewelry (not a hand-me-down heirloom) - a true lover's knot. Caroline wonders if he's being extra nice because of a guilty conscience.

Peace Negotiations break down. Napoleon Radinck has one more trick up his sleeve. He tells Caroline Wellington that he is going out of town for a day or two...

Battle of Waterloo. The conflict has gone on long enough. Caroline decides it's time to do something about it. First she sends out a recon team to assess the terrain. It seems that Radinck is not really going out of town at all - his secretary says he's all booked up. Also, in her inexperienced view, his kiss had been a very genuine one. Strategy: deception. Caroline writes a note telling Radinck that she's leaving him, and has Young Willem deliver it to him. Radinck spends the rest of the day looking for her and castigating himself. Imagine his relief and chagrin when he gets home to find her 'calmly' knitting in the sitting room. Quite enough to make Napoleon Radinck surrender. His white flag is her handkerchief that he carries around in his pocket like a lovesick puppy. A little kissing. The end.

Rating: Lashings of Whipped Cream with a cherry on top! The title is a bit misleading - but Caroline's Waterloo does sound better than Radinck's Waterloo. Caroline is awesome. She's plucky, cheerful and has an indomitable spirit. She has an incredible ability to be both a dreamer AND sensible. She's a 'see the hill, take the hill' kind of girl. I simply adore her. Radinck is pretty darn awesome in his own way. He has spent more than a decade becoming a misogynistic hermit - and is quite good at it. Right up until the moment Caroline is carried - bleeding and concussed - into his house. He fights a rearguard action - but he's defeated before he knows what's happening to him. The Great Neels does a lovely job of showing us so much of their story. There's not a lot of needless to-ing and fro-ing, the interaction between the two takes place almost exclusively in and around Huis Thoe. All of Caroline's hopes and dreams are detailed - along with her feelings. Radinck is much more of a closed book. The fact that Caroline is able to read him right from the get-go is simply wonderful. If I could only have one Betty Neels, Caroline's Waterloo is the one I'd choose.

Food:paper-thin bread and butter, scrambled eggs, cheese souffle (twice), Bavarian creme, homemade lemonade, steamed cod, butter beans, salmon mousse, tournedos, sauteed straw potatoes, braised steak, trifle, filets de sole Leonora, sorbet, millfeuille from the sweet trolley, champagne, which grew on one, iced melon, lobster thermidor, charlotte russe, petit fours with white icing and silver flowers and leaves, spinach tarts, bombe surprise.

Fashion: pre-marriage - abominable clothes. Wedding outfit - rather plain, fine wool dress in warm amber and a small velvet hat to go with it, multi-coloured tweed suit, Marks and Spencer sweater, slacks, fancy dress that is pale smokey grey chiffon over a satin lining - not a great deal of top to it, riding outfit, including jodhpurs and boots, pink quilted dressing gown.