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| With this snorkel, I thee wed... |
Mijnheer van Voorhees and I were famously impoverished so the question didn't arise but even if we had had money, I don't think it was done much among our friends and relations. We just weren't aware of the etiquette and traditions so didn't fuss ourselves overmuch with them. (Though, now that I think of it, a nice set of heirloom sapphires would set me up very nicely.)
My neighbor's daughter was just married last year and the groom's gift to her was a pair of scuba fins as a clue to where he'd planned their Honeymoon.
So, my question is: Did you give gifts? (Why or why not?) What were they? And if you didn't, what do you think might have been appropriate/awesome?
We did give one another gifts - we were rather infamously poor, so they were simple but meant a lot to both of us.
ReplyDeleteHe gave me a gold locket and I gave him a gold cross necklace he'd been eying for some time. I don't think either of us spent more than $20 but we both treasure the gifts. Besides, gold was cheap in 1975. My wedding band was only $23. The same band today would be well over $100 so maybe we weren't so stingy. ;-)
In our circle, gifts between the bride and groom is rather hit and miss. My son and daughter-in-law didn't do it - they considered the part they paid for their wedding and the honeymoon to be their gifts to one another, although they did at least discuss it.
There have been several weddings in the family in recent years and I don't know of one couple among them who even discussed giving one another gifts, let alone did it. Maybe it's a dying tradition?
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Betty Henry and I did not (as I recall) give each other presents, mostly because I was too busy finding things to give the best man, my sister, and the judge who officiated.
ReplyDeleteBetty Ross and I didn't -- despite two weddings! -- and I have no idea why not.
But your comment about the heirloom sapphires reminded me that last week, Betty Ross asked if I wanted jewelry for my birthday. In theory yes, but in actuality no. I love the idea of getting jewelry, but then I never wear any of it. So, with some regret, I said no. (Instead, he's taking me someplace SECRET.)
Prof Vue der Plane gave me a watch. Which I lost in the first few months of our marriage. It was then that he told me it was expensive. Can't say I liked it much, I can't even remember what it looked like.
ReplyDelete(Actually I left it in his deceased grandmother's car which we were using, as we were staying in the garage apartment of her home, in which his single sister was living, both of us paying rent to an uncle that was insisting that the home be sold and profits split between the two heirs. (That whole thing was big mess that took years to settle, word to the wise - give everything away before you die - save your kids from themselves.) So I'm not sure if it was taken by some unscrupulous family member or what.) We were only there six months before we PCS'd to Torrejon, Spain.
And other than my sweet, innocent self, I can't remember if I gave him anything. I think it was more of a tradition for the groom to give the bride something.
And I think my three married kids did the gift thing. But not being a material girl, I don't think I banked that information.
I'm with Betty Magdalen on the subject of the theoretical niceness of jewelry trumping its actual niceness. I've enough sense of aesthetics to love looking at it but just can't pull it off--I supposed if you can of age during the slacker revolution jewelry just looks like you're trying too hard.
ReplyDeleteBetty Keira -- I suspect I can pull it off in the right setting (I'm wearing heirloom pearls in the photo here) but how many such settings am I likely to be in?
ReplyDeleteAlso, as I get older, I do find that memories are worth more than -- yes, really -- diamonds. Based on experience, I'll remember whatever trip we're going on more than I will ooh and aah over a pretty piece of jewelry.
I agree with you both. I think it's the thought of being special enough to rate expensive jewelry that brings the feelings. At least for me. I would definitely take the trip, Betty Magdalen!
ReplyDeleteMy eldest son showed how well he knows his mom at his wedding. Not only did his bride get a gift, he gave me one. He found a lovely Miraculous Medal surrounded by some blue sparkly stones (I have no idea what they are and don't care to find out, they are priceless to me because of who gave them.) He found me in church before the wedding and had the priest bless the medal. It's just the right size and I wear it on special days.
So far, son #1 has given me some pretty special gifts, but the best ones are the three grandkids! Here's our latest group pic Kelly Klan
Dr. van der Stevejinck discovered jewelry as a gift option a few years ago. I'm not a fan of spending a bundle on 'things' - but he's managed to pull off two necklaces and a ring in the past four or five years. We're not talking the crown jewels here. The first necklace he got me is very Betty Neels - it's a garnet pendant. The second one is a blue opal - my birthstone. The ring? Well, he owed me one since he cut my wedding band off (yes, it was VERY painful - only 4 or 5 inches away from my broken wrist). There's a picture of my old ring here.
ReplyDeleteSince I don't usually wear more than one ring at any given time - and that is my replacement wedding ring, rings are not an option. I do have one other ring that I wear once a year. It sort of looks like a large sapphire. Sort of. It was a Mother's Day gift from one of my children about 20 years ago. I can't wear it more than a couple of hours because my finger starts turning green. Oh well, that's what happens when you get a $5 ring.
I guess you could say I haven't so much been showered with jewels as I've been slightly drizzled with jewelry.
I have to say, I'm with Bettys Magdalen and Mary, given the option, I'd much rather have a holiday!
Betty Mary! I didn't think of you as a blonde! Isn't that funny? Your name said, 'curly brunette' to me... What a great looking bunch.
ReplyDeleteNot blonde, I'd say light brown (that's what the box says anyway) the roots are mostly brunette & silver but the hair's as straight as a die. I've been told that going lighter makes you look younger and the gray blends in better that way. LOL But I've got several pics of me as a kid that would fit your view, my mom believed in permanenting toddlers!! My natural is about the color of Bettys Megan and Ariel, even though they have the curly hair. Betty Brig got the long straight blond hair, in addition to the pretty face. Thanks for the kind words, they're all well behaved, too. ha ha ha hee hee ha ha
ReplyDeleteDr. Davidjink carefully saved up his pennies as a 2nd Lt. to present me with a lovely set of pearls for a wedding gift. Now, if he hadn't found a mess dress his size at the base thrift store ($25)for the wedding, I'm not sure he would have had the savings to do so. He understood that I'd rather have great pieces of jewelry even if I only have one every eon or so. Next one came for our 10th anniversary. By the time the 20th rolled around, we were in Australia and it just so happened that our best friend there was a goldsmith...and had opal mines in Lightning Ridge. My DH has made significant contributions to the heirloom stash.
ReplyDeleteMy personal suggestion is to insure it and enjoy the great stuff every day.