Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Planes, Trains and Automobiles III

Three Bettys get on a plane...It's an Airbus(this is important). Window Seat Betty, Center Seat Betty and Aisle Seat Betty. Window Seat Betty sits down, pulls out a Debbie Macomber and starts reading. Center Seat Betty sits down pulls out a Mira Stables, Aisle Seat Betty sits down and starts reading Betty Neels (and prepares to make copious notes). Captain Roscoe (real name, not an extension of your Dukes of Hazzard fantasy) gets on the horn from the "front office" and informs the cattle, I mean passengers that they may experience some bouncing. Quite the understatement. Aisle Seat Betty took note of their seat position and noted that if the plane broke in half, they would be "Tailies".

"Stinkin' Airbus", said Center Seat Betty.

Aisle Seat Betty turned a pale shade of green and groped in the seat pocket for the "sick" receptacle. Soon thereafter, Window Seat Betty turned an even paler shade of green and groped for her "sick" receptacle. Amid all of this deadly seriousness, Center Seat Betty (your author) giggled maniacally and clutched Window Seat Betty's hand. She reflected on the happy foresight which had led her to call Dr. van der Stevejinck prior to boarding so that the last words he heard from her were "I want the last words that I speak to you before I board a stinkin' Airbus to be I love you."

*No "sick" receptacles were harmed in the making of this Betty Adventure, but brows were definitely in need of mopping.
**The flight back was fine (after some initial bounciness). And yes, I know that the turbulence wasn't the fault of the 'Stinkin' Airbus', it just made me feel better to say it.


  1. Thanks for braving the "friendly" skies!

  2. I think we should perhaps institute a variation of the British royalty rule that no two Bettys can travel together on the same plane thus ensuring the survival of the royal Betty line and blog.

  3. It was rather like forgetting to have the Secretary of Agriculture sit out the State of the Union...

  4. Here is a list of cast members.

    Aisle Seat Betty - Betty Keira
    Center Seat Betty - Betty Debbie
    Window Seat Betty - Betty Tia

    I did leave Dr. van der Stevejinck instructions about the blog before leaving home.

  5. Very funny -- I particularly like the notion that you would have been "taillies."

    I don't like the Airbus, myself, although I have no geographical connection to Boing. Airbus seats are worse than other airplanes. Some travel writer has on the Interwebs someplace all the vital statistics on various airplane designs, including legroom, etc.

    I did fly on Virgin to visit Betty Janet in February and was impressed that there were power sockets under the seats for one's laptop computers. Not me, though -- I just need an iPod and some magazines &/or books.

    Glad you're all home safely!